The Heart and Mind of a Woman

Choosing a Baby Name/ Choosing a Grandparent Name

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-06:00

Our daughter is the first grandchild on my side of the family. With adoption it is a little different than finding out the gender of your baby while in utero and naming him or her immediately. There is no doubt when that child is born, he or she is the name the parents have been calling it for the past four months. In adoption, sometimes you don't even get 24 hour notice to name the baby. Some parents opt to name their child AFTER she’s born. If I had waited to see what our baby looked like before naming her, we would have named her “Bertha” because when she was born the cord was around her neck and one of her little eyes was so puffy. Plus, I had never seen a baby born or even a few hours old. It’s tough coming through that birth canal!

My parents had already decided what they wanted our daughter to call them “Honey” and “Poppar.” “Honey” had actually been our dog's name, and I’m not really sure why momma chose it. “Poppar” is a fishing bait. So Honey and Poppar it was. Except when Erin started talking at an early age she couldn’t exactly say, “Honey.” Sometimes it came out “Nuney.” My personal favorite was the stint of time in which Erin called her “Hiney.” My mom has a cousin who is called “Lolli” and her husband is “Pop,” so together they are Lolli-Pop. Cute, huh?

Naming a baby is a huge deal. This is the name they will have the rest of their lives. I remember driving Erin to my mom’s one day, and at the ripe age of 2 ½ Erin told me she didn’t like her name, and she wanted to change it. If she had only known how long it took for her daddy and I to agree on her full name she would have known not to say anything. I told her how much I loved her name, and I asked her what she would have chosen for herself. She said, “G.” “G” was her grandmother her passed away this past year. Erin would go spend a week at a time with G in Mississippi since she was one year old. I told her “G” was already taken was there another name she preferred. She said, “Elmo.” Go figure! She was 2 1/2.

Thinking about choosing the name for your baby or choosing the name you would be called by a grandchild, niece or nephew – it’s something one ponders and thinks about before making that decision. Now can you imagine being responsible for creating a name for a whole species of animals? God brought the animals to Adam to name. What a daunting task that must have been! How exciting! How creative.

I have some very creative friends. They see things in general, every-day life and can immediately find a way to repurpose them or recycle them. They are just geared to that creative side. I, on the other hand, have moments of creativity, and I take them when I get them. In this instance, Adam needed to be creative because the names of these animals would last through Christ’s return. NO PRESSURE THERE!

Names are important. I hate to hear a person call another one names. I nip it in the bud instantly…of course, if it is a sweet, pet name then that is different altogether.

You know why God sent all those animals in front of Adam? Yes to name them, but also because God wanted Adam to realize he needed a match. He needed a mate. Genesis 2:20 says, “…But for Adam no suitable helper was found.” So God performed the first surgery. He took one of Adam’s ribs, closed him up and made woman. Then God brought the woman to Adam to be named. You ever wonder what Adam must have thought when he first saw Eve? “AHHH, yes! This is my partner. She looks and smells a lot better than that skunk I named yesterday, and it doesn't look like she'll spit like that camel.”

It just now dawned on me that up until this point, I have not read the name “Adam” or “Eve” in chapter 1 or 2 of Genesis. Do you find that odd? I find that odd. It isn’t until after both man and woman have eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil that we read their names for the very first time. Genesis 3:17, God calls Adam by name and disciplines him for his role in the fall of man. In turn, Adam turns around and names Eve. Isn’t that interesting?

Man and woman sin changing their complete relationship with God and each other, and in turn they get individualized names. Makes me wonder what if they hadn’t eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and chose to eat from the tree of life would they have the same names? Adam chose the name “Eve.” Eve means life. She would be “the mother of all the living”(1). Yes, man and woman had made a wrong choice. Yes, man and woman had sinned, but with God there is life after sin. There is hope. Life does go on giving us another opportunity to make better choices. Up until the fall, man had no need of hope because of the intimate relationship he had with God. There was nothing separating them, but when sin occurred a chasm, a great divide was placed between God and man that would only be bridged by a cross 2000 years later.

Thank you, God, for the hope we have in you because of the cross. Thank you, God, for knowing each of our names; for loving us so much you have our days numbered, steps ordained and hairs numbered. Thank you, God, for life and for redemption. I’m so thankful my name is “Child of God.”

(1) Patterson, Dorothy Kelly and Kelley, Rhonda Harrington. Women’s Evangelical Commentary Old Testament. Holman Reference. Nashville, TN. Pg 15

Being Second Doesn't Mean You're a Loser

2012-02-03T04:52:00.000-06:00

Get up at 5:30 AM. Brush my teeth. Wash my face. Take a shower. Get dressed. Wake the children and husband by 6 AM. Put on my makeup. Check on the kids’ progress. Blow dry hair. Check on kids’ progress. Flat iron, tease and spray. Check on kids’ progress. Put on jewelry and shoes. Get kids moving to the kitchen for breakfast. Breakfast. Make sure all items for school are located in the cubbie. Make lunch. Go to work. Pick up children. Go to grocery store/library/etc. Start supper. Work on kids’ homework with them. Start a load of laundry. Review assignment pad with kids. Eat supper. One kid in tub. One kid helps to clean up. I clean up the kitchen. Transfer laundry. Swap kids in tub. Sit (maybe) for a moment. Then bedtime routine for kids. Fold laundry. Make list for the next day. Prepare for bed. Goodnight. Remember the commercial from the 70s – “I can get up in the mornin’, fry bacon in a pan, get the children to school, and be at work from 9 to 5 ‘cause I’m a woman. Enjoli.” (We bought that hook, line and sinker, didn’t we?)

Barring any unusual circumstances that is my typical day out of any particular sport season. You throw in sports or any type of enrichment, and that typical day has additional elements.

Wife. Mother. Employee. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Cook. Housekeeper. Taxicab driver. Financial manager. Pharmacist. Dishwasher. Conflict strategist (aka referee). Educator. Stylist. Organizer. Nutritionist. Counselor. Protector. The list could go on of all the roles I play, but you get the picture because you are a mom or you have a mom and have seen how hard she works. She doesn’t have a 9 to 5 job. I have a 16 hour days, 7 days a week. How many hats do you wear? How many plates do you keep spinning at one time?

And it’s not easy to be a woman in this day and age much less a godly woman. It’s not easy being a Christian mom, but I’m thankful because I had a good role model. I have resources and people whom I can call when I need guidance, assistance or support. But what about Eve? She was the first woman. No role model. No one she can call for the 411 on fixing a healthy meal out of vegetables only. No one to call 411 for when she didn’t understand her husband. No one to give a shout out when junior hits the terrible twos. You may have felt like that yourself at some point in your life. When I was going through fertility treatments and then the adoption process, I didn’t know a soul who had done either. I would have loved to have had a godly woman walk beside me through that, but God didn’t provide it. Instead, He was my source of comfort and strength and wisdom. He is after all the One who made this crazy body of mine. He knew what was going to happen. Why wouldn’t I have consulted Him first?

I want to look at Eve. I want to study her. Put myself in her shoes…I guess she really didn’t wear shoes. Put myself in her designer, fig leaf dress. Care to join me?

In Genesis 2, we see God made Adam from the dust of the field. We also see that God doesn’t make Eve right away. Say what? Nope. God parades the animals in front of Adam. God already knows that Adam needs a helper, but Adam doesn’t know he needs a helper. Adam sees males and females of the beasts of the field and birds of the air. He names them, but none are suitable to be his mate. Sometimes people have to be shown they do have a need. God performs the first surgery. He puts Adam to sleep and takes a rib.

A while back I read something that said God did not take a piece of Adam’s skull because God didn’t want the woman to rule over man. God did not take the bone from Adam’s foot because God didn’t want the woman to walked on. Rather, God took a rib. The rib is protected by the man’s arm, and the rib protects the man’s lungs (his breath, his life). AND the rib is close to the man’s heart. Kinda gives us how man and wife are to relate to one another…doesn’t it?

Eve, womankind, was made special. Adam was made from dirt. Other animals were spoken into existence or created in mass (birds of the air, beast of the field). But woman…God took Adam’s rib and formed Eve. When Adam would see Eve, he would know that he was part of her. They were joined…connected. God made woman special.

I saw something on Facebook or maybe Pinterest. It was a saying, and I wish I would have written it down, but the gist of the quote was this…If somebody tells you, you aren’t worth anything. If some boy says you aren’t worth fighting for. If some boy says you aren’t worth chasing, then you tell that person that there is someone who pursues you every day of your life and that He loves you so much that He died for you. He is the one from whom you get your value and not some snotty nose boy. (I added that last part. I plan on using that with Erin.)

The point is this…God didn’t make women second to be second class citizens. He didn’t make them second rate either with left over parts. He created each individual as He sees fit. Psalm 139 says He knits you together in your mother’s womb. Women are precious to God. We are daughters of the King of Kings. So when you don’t know what to do with the strong-willed child God gave you, cry out to Him. When your marriage is strained, call on God. When you don’t know what is going on with your health, reach for Him. He is pursuing you.

(PS More on Eve is to come…I’m just struggling with it…that’s all)

Is a Felon -- My Confession Is Written Below

2012-01-31T04:32:00.001-06:00

In seventh grade I committed a felony. Yep, there you have it. I confess.

In seventh grade I was diagnosed as having ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). The diagnosis in the early 80s was not as prevalent as it is today, and my parents had to get educated real quick. It was a bizarre time in my life. I knew I was different that the other kids. I knew it was easier for me to be around adults than it was for kids my own age. I realized that by the end of a football game all the other cheerleaders would be exhausted, but I was raring for more. In the mornings, it looked like a wrestling match had taken place by Sumu wrestlers. I didn’t know what impulsive meant. I called it being spontaneous…and wasn’t it great and fun? I made As and Bs at Calvary except in math. I struggled beyond belief. It didn’t matter how much I tried I could not get above a C.

The day I was caught, I was in school and my math teacher pulled me into the hall. Mrs. Honea, who is now the principal at Calvary, stood maybe 5’ 2”…maybe. She never raised her head to look up at a student, but she would roll her dark brown eyes upward and could bore a hole in you as she handled whatever situation that had arisen in class. On this particular day…I was the situation. Mrs. Honea had my math test in her hand and asked if my mom had signed it. My mom’s name was on the paper alright, and I had done my best to make it look like hers. But when you use a pencil to forge your mother’s signature on the ride to school, you are doomed to fail! I had committed a forgery on a math test where I had made a BIG, FAT F. Yep, there were a lot of conversations and consequences after that little jewel came to light.

When I failed that test, I had a choice to make…buck up and face the consequences OR try to skirt the unpleasantness. Once I made the choice to be deceitful, I had another choice. Do I tell the truth when confronted? Yes, Mrs. Honea, I forged my mom’s signature on the way to school this morning. OR Do I lie? Knowing the consequences aren’t going to get any better, I opted for telling the truth after fishtailing and squirming for what seemed hours (but I’m sure it was only a second). It’s amazing how quick your life can flash before you when you’ve only lived to see the seventh grade!

While reading about Creation in Genesis 2, I read about God creating two trees in the center of the Garden of Eden – the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. THE ONLY INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING EITHER WAS REGARDING THE TREE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL. God specifically told Adam this instruction. Eve wasn’t even created yet! Might as well have told him not to run with scissors in his hands! (Just kidding. He didn’t have scissors, but you get my point.)

I used to wonder why in the world God would even create such a tree if He knew it would not have good results. Options. Choices. He wanted to give Adam the opportunity to choose. Do you love me and obey me, or do you love yourself more? Remember the prior blogs about God’s relationship with Adam…God planted a garden…for Adam. Adam doesn’t know anyone else but God. It’s not like he has been influenced by his peers or by the media. He was a blank slate. He was pure.

Another thing I wonder about is how did Eve learn of “THE” rule? Did Adam tell her, or was she created with this knowledge? The Bible doesn’t say. Doesn’t really matter other than she misquotes the rule.

I remember when Pearce was little he was an explorer of his environment, and he was intrigued with the place where we plugged in our electrical devices. He could pop those covers off in no time flat. Child proof, my eye! Adult proof is more like it. Anyway, I would pull his round, little body away from the outlet and place a couple of wonderful toys in front of him…toys he loved. Where would I find him in no time at all? Back at the wall, popping the cover off. He was curious. He knew I had popped his roly poly hand before, but he was determined to find out what was the deal with that outlet. Adam was just like that. God gave Adam a choice. God placed the Tree of Life right there in front of him, but we don’t ever hear of Adam eating from it. Adam’s own naiveness and choice to go along instead of lead by making the right choice led to the ultimate fall of mankind. Yes, Eve was tempted, and she failed, but Adam had been entrusted with the information and when given the opportunity to choose to follow the rule or not, he failed.

Just like Adam and Eve whose choice led to their spiritual death and eventually their physical death, we make decisions regularly that give life or death. Death to a relationship. Death to a dream. Life to a relationship. Life to a dream. We will never know what would have happened if Adam and Eve had chosen to eat from the other tree, but what we do know is that their choice determined what happens next in history – CONSEQUENCES. We face consequences for our choices as well.

Did God still love them? Absolutely. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have made coverings for them. Did God abandon them? The rest of the Bible tells you God never forsake them or their offspring. God just wants you to choose Him. Choose to love Him. Choose to obey Him. He wants you to choose life.

DiScoveRy

2012-01-28T04:24:00.002-06:00

Do you remember seeing the world through your first born’s eyes? Do you remember seeing the wonder in their eyes? Do you remember the excitement they expressed when they discovered something new to them?

I used to say that I should have named Erin, “Rose” from the Scarlett Letter. It has nothing to do with the character of her mother, but rather, the character description of Rose herself. Rose could see right to the heart of a matter, and she would say things that would prick her mother’s heart and conscience. Rose was a quirky little person and made her own discoveries along the way. Erin was a lot like that as a toddler and young child. I remember when she would discover something new, she was so expressive. (This should have been my clue that she would be theatrical, but I was naïve.) As a baby I could put a new toy in front of her and show her how it worked, and her eye brows would go up in perfect arches and her mouth would purse into a perfect, small “o.” Her chubby little hands with the dimpled knuckles would clap, and her roly-poly legs would bump up and down on the floor. I would watch where her eyes to see what caught her fancy on the new toy, and she would laugh a hardy laugh. I loved exposing her to new things, new foods, new sounds. She was just so much fun.

Pearce, on the other hand, is a very different child. He isn’t happy just looking at a new thing. NNNNOOOOOO!!!!! I would put a new toy in front of him as a baby or as a toddler and his dark eyes would bore a whole into it as I showed him what the toy did. He didn’t squeal with excitement. He didn’t even necessarily try to use the toy as I had showed him. Pearce was more interested in taking it apart or ramming it into another object making sounds for it as it was forced into the collision. I remember putting a couple of Erin’s baby dolls in front of Pearce when he was just sitting up. Before I could get up or do anything, he was making car sounds and smashing them together. (I didn’t teach him that.) When he got older and I knew he wouldn’t put things in his mouth, we started buying him little cars with tires and parts. It wasn’t long till all the tires were off the rims; the doors were disconnected; and other pieces would be missing.

I was reminded of these experiences when I was reading Genesis 2. God was bringing the animals before Adam to be named. Keep in mind, Adam had just been created. He had no knowledge or had experiences from the zoo to have seen these animals before. I imagine it brought God great joy to see Adam’s face as each animal was brought to him to name. Was Adam like Erin – all wide-eyed, expressing his awe in ooohs? Was he like Pearce running his hands over the face of the animal, lifting it’s wing or leg, pulling the animal’s tail, inspecting in its mouth? I wonder if God laughed. I know I used to laugh when my kids were exploring and learning about their environment. It gave me such joy.

I hope God gets pleasure seeing my face when I discover something about Him, His Word or His Creation. How often do you discover something new in God’s Word? Do you His love letter to you as if it was your first time, or do you read it like, “This is the story of Creation; I’ve heard it a hundred times before.”

My prayer is that you will be revived in your study of the Bible and that you will read it as if it was for the first time. I pray that you read the Bible and put yourself in the shoes of one who is in the story or maybe from God’s perspective as our Heaven Parent. The Bible is as fresh and relevant today as the day it was written. It’s the people who read who have gotten stale and hard-hearted. Just like God breathed life into Adam, I pray that you will accept God’s breath of life into your relationship with Him.

Planting a Garden

2012-01-24T08:54:00.000-06:00

B.C. (Before children) when we lived in Belton, I had a beautiful rose garden comprising of five generous rose bushes, one of which was the easy living rose. The raised flower bed had a picket fence to keep the dogs out and hanging moss rose hung over the edge of the bed. I also had an iris bed with bulbs of three varieties including an iris with a dark purple beard. I loved my flowers. They required attention and grooming. Weeding and feeding.

I guess that is probably the last time I had a beautiful flower bed. Pearce and I tried to grow a small garden in a raised bed last year, but that was the year of the drought, so we were not successful. I used to really enjoy gardening, and someday when my children when my children are too big for my lap, when they don’t need a driver, when they don’t need me as their alarm clock and cook, I’ll get back to having a beautiful flower bed.

I started reminiscing about my beautiful flower garden while reading in Genesis 2. In verse 8, it says, “God planted a garden.” I wonder what he chose as His favorite to put into the garden or what He put into it because it would intrigue Adam. He created this perfect garden Eden (means delight) knowing Adam would only enjoy it for a little while. Were they flowers like those I saw in Hawaii? How unique or interesting were they? Or were they simple because Adam had never known flowers anyway?

We know according to chapter 2 that God cause the ground to grow trees pleasing to look at and producing fruit. It was a garden with plenty of water resources with the Tigris and Euphrates, Pishon and Havilah, and as Pearce and I learned this past summer, water is crucial for a good garden. God also put the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in this garden. Why? That’s another upcoming blog. And what would have happened if they had eaten of the tree of life instead of the other? (Don’t expect a blog on that because that would just be supposition and unintelligent guessing on my part. There was gold, aromatic resin and onyx (vs 12). God’s garden was beautiful, life sustaining, and aromatic. It touched the senses of man – sight, taste, smell. Don’t you know how it must have pleased God to give this to Adam?! (Every good and perfect gift – James 1:17.)

People have wondered and tried to pinpoint where Eden was, but it’s really hard to know since the flood very well could have altered the geographical layout of the rivers and moved sediment to form land where there wasn’t once land. The point here is that God planted a garden for man, and just because mankind ruined it by choosing to eat from the wrong tree doesn’t mean that God has taken away the marvel and beautiful of his creation. It’s still there, but are you too busy to notice it.

I also noticed God wanted Adam to tend to the garden…this was before the fall. Adam was to be responsible and attentive to something other than himself. God was teaching him skills Adam would need later. God grew a garden to prepare Adam because he knew Adam would make the wrong choice at some time and need to know what to do next. (I’m getting ahead of myself…that’s in that upcoming blog I talked about earlier.)

Adam served God by tending the garden…what a wonderful way to serve! For me, gardening used to be therapy after a stressful day at work, and it was pleasure. I’m sure it was Adam’s pleasure to tend the garden God provided…surely. But how often do we become discontent with the “garden”/life that God has provided us? Often times the life or garden God has chosen for us is destroyed by our own decisions and the weeds we allow to come in and penetrate our hearts. It goes back to choices…that next blog thing.

The point of this blog is God planted a garden. When God provided this garden it was His best, His favorites, and His provision for Adam. I hope you don’t miss the beauty in God’s handiwork today. I hope that you see something new as if for the first time. I hope you wonder.

A Redneck Takes His Two Daughters Camping and...

2012-01-21T08:34:00.000-06:00

I want order in my life. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy spontaneity in my life from time-to-time. You couldn’t have lived in my house growing up and not appreciate daddy’s spontaneity. As a matter of fact, one Friday night when I was probably in the fifth or sixth grade, daddy said, “Let’s go camping.” I don’t remember what time he said this, but Lori and I jumped at the opportunity because daddy assured us we’d have fun, and he told us of this place that had a rope that we could swing over the bayou and jump in. SOOOO, we threw our things together and hopped into the truck and left. Mom had better sense and stayed home. We didn’t check the weather. We didn’t need directions because daddy knew where this place was. I’m sure we stopped somewhere to buy junk food for the weekend, and I’m sure we listened to music and laughed all the way down there. Ever heard “ignorance is bliss?” Yep, it’s going to be like that.

As we were unloading the truck, it started to sprinkle. No big deal. He assured us we weren’t made of sugar. We wouldn’t melt. We got the tent set up in the rain, and by the time we got into the tent with our things, it was a MONSOON! The wind was whipping the walls of the tent in and out. The rain was beating down on the top of the tent. AND THERE WE SAT. As the storm got worse, we became more and more alarmed. Did I mention we didn’t check the weather? Daddy made an executive decision. We were going home. It just wasn’t safe to be under these trees in a tent in the lightning and high winds and pouring rain. SOOOOO, we load our things back into the truck in the monsoon. Somewhere there is a Polaroid picture of the three of us with stupid grins on our faces, drenched to the skin, wet as a dog. We shivered the rest of the way home. The next morning when we got up, we heard on the news that a tornado had gone over us on Dorcheat Bayou (or however you spell it). A TORNADO! Yes, spontaneity can be fun. It can be exciting. It can be an adventure, and I wouldn’t swap my adventures for anything, but there is something to be said for order and peace.

While meditating on the creation and studying the creation, there is something that caught my attention, God didn’t create His menagerie of animals before He created the earth. He didn’t create the birds of the air before the trees were established. He didn’t create plant life before there was light. He didn’t do things all willy-nilly. He didn’t wing it. 1Corinthians 14:33 says, “since God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” Where there is order, where there is God there is peace. Do you have order in your life? Is God an active part in your life? If you do, then you know of the peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7).

Spontaneity has its place in life, but I want the core of my life to be peaceful. Even in the roughest of storms in life, we can have peace knowing that God is in control…WE MAY NOT BE IN CONTROL (which is an illusion and misnomer anyway), but He most definitely is in control…if we allow Him. So, do you want that peace? Do you want order? Seek God.

My Number is 11

2012-01-18T07:03:00.002-06:00

What is the perfect number?

    No, I’m not thinking 10, as in Bo Derek.

        No, I’m not thinking about the number you chose for sports – mine was always 11.

           No, I’m not thinking of a size 4 or 6.

              No, I’m not thinking of the perfect age.

                The perfect number is the number for completion in the Bible – 7.

One of the reasons I have the ladies mark their Bibles is because sometimes we miss the patterns and clues God has left for us in His Word. I’m still in Genesis chapter one, and do you know how many times in my Bible it is written, “it was good?” Seven.

How many days were there in all described in the story of Creation? Seven.

The God who spoke creation into being saw, “it was good” – not great, not awesome, not fantastic. Good. It was good. If anyone could take pride in His work, it would be God. He made something from nothing. He didn’t make a prototype before creating the original, and yet, He called His creation “good.”

A perfect, complete God – nothing ever created will ever be better than the One who created it/him/her. Have you ever baked a cake from scratch or built a piece of furniture? Is it more valuable than you? Of course not.

Our Creator is perfect. He knew what was going to happen before time even began. Our Creator is all-knowing – omniscient. Our Creator is full of grace and mercy and takes time to see His creation for what it is. Our Creator took His time in creating each individual. The verse in Psalm 139 says that God knitted you while you were still in your mother’s womb. I’ve seen a man’s play classical guitar with his feet. I’ve seen a woman paint an elaborate picture holding the paintbrush with her mouth, but I’ve never seen anyone knit with anything other than their hands. And for the record, knitting takes a lot of time especially when you follow intricate patterns.

Some people may think they are god. Some may feel like they are a god (probably not anyone on the LSU team right now). But truth is, they are not. God is God. He is bigger than us. He is bigger than any situation that may arise. He is bigger than any problem that occurs. He is bigger than any wrong committed against us. The bottom line is do you trust Him with your problem, with your pain, with your crisis?

Another thing, God is perfect, and He knows we are not. He knew that before He created us, and He created us anyway. Isn’t that something for which to be thankful? He created us anyway knowing He would have to sacrifice His Son if He created us, AND THEN HE CREATED US ANYWAY! We cause Him such grief and heartache at times, but His love for us never changes – it’s perfect. If you have asked Jesus to come into your life, you can rest assured that there will never be a day in your life that you don’t have God with you hemming you in from the front and the back (Ps 139 – love that chapter). He’s got you covered.

I am so thankful for a perfect God who created me with such an overwhelming love. Aren’t you?

Working an Oven Is Hard Work

2012-01-15T10:08:00.002-06:00

The first house Patrick and I ever bought was in Plano, Texas. We bought it from some friends of ours who was having to relocate with the company. It was a three bedroom, two baths, but the selling point for me was the fireplace in the master bedroom. In this particular neighborhood, the garages and driveways were accessed by alleys behind the homes. Our neighbor directly behind us was Monocom Block. He and his family were Orthodox Jews. I learned a lot about the Jewish religious holidays because I would read about them as our neighbors would celebrate.

One particular evening, Patrick drove up and parked his little, white Mitsubishi pickup truck into the driveway. He exited his vehicle, and our neighbor Mr. Block approached Patrick. This was the only conversation they ever had with us.

Walking up, Mr. Block introduced himself to Patrick and told Patrick his oven was on.

        Confused, Patrick said okay.

            Mr. Block reiterated the fact his oven was on.

                Patrick asked, “Do you want me to turn it off?”

Mr. Block turned and walked away, and Patrick followed trying to keep up. This was the only time either of us was invited into their home…not that Patrick was exactly invited.

Patrick turned off the oven, and there was no acknowledgement or gratitude. Patrick turned and left.

See, the Jewish Sabbath had started. Their Sabbath starts in the evening, and they are not permitted to do any work. Turning off the oven was considered work in Mr. Block’s eyes…and according to some of the women in my class, they consider it work too!

Genesis 1:5, “And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day.” (NIV) Genesis 1:2, “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep…”

Sometimes our new beginnings are birthed in the darkness.

Sometimes our trials begin without having any form to our knowledge.

But God loves us too much to leave us in the dark. A verse that I have clung to these past five or so years is Isaiah 42:16, “I will lead the blind by the ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” I am no theologian or Biblical scholar, but so far, I’ve never seen an incident where God leads His child from the light into the darkness. He brings his children from the darkness of night into the light of day.

If you are seeking God and His will for your life, has He ever left you in the dark or where you sat?

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (NASB)

God may have rested on the seventh day, but He didn’t quit. He’s actively participating in our lives if we allow Him. Do you want to see daylight in your problem, your trial, your journey? Seek Him and have confidence that He will never leave you or forsake you where you are and that He will continue to work things out for the good of those who believe in Him (Romans 8:28).

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times..."

2012-01-11T09:09:00.000-06:00

I have purchased a digital recorder. I have recorded several phrases into it, and if you are a parent, you’ll appreciate these. “Don’t touch your sibling.” “Take your complaining somewhere else.” “Your face will freeze like that.” “Go to your room.” I get so tired of repeating myself, but I might as well be talking to the wall because no one else seems to listen.

While studying Genesis 1, there was something that I noticed. There are a couple of patterns. The first pattern I saw came in verse 3, “God said…” These words appear in verses 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24, 26, and 29, and what typically follows? “And it was so.” His Word is so powerful that whatever He says is so. Obviously, my word does not carry that kind of power. If it did, I would be saying things like, “I’m physically fit” --- and it was so. If my word was that powerful, I wouldn’t have to repeat myself to my children, and they would be little angels all the time.

Just because God ceases to say something like, “You are a beast of the field,” doesn’t mean it stops being the beast of the field. He says it one time, and His Word sustains that created being and the generations to come. How often do we need God’s reassurance? Over and over and over again. Kinda there myself right now to be perfectly honest.

His Word sustains what He creates. Do you rely on God’s Word to sustain you? You are one of His creations. His Word is POWERFUL. His Word SUSTAINS. His Word is the Bread of Life.

Are you looking for something consistent? Are you wanting something secure? Then dive into His Word for yourself. Don’t wait for a Beth Moore or your pastor to tell you what it says or what to believe. Find out for yourself how the Word of God can sustain you.

Erin Turns 11, but It Took 13+ individuals to make it happen -- go figure

2012-01-05T03:36:00.000-06:00

How many were involved in your conception, your birth? Most would say two (your parents). Some would say three (your parents and God). What if I told you my daughter has 13+?

Like everyone she has two biological parents, but she also has two adoptive parents. If you are counting, we are up to four.

Then there is Ramona Sanders, Debbie Wilson, Jill McWilliams, Jennifer McLemore, Debby Ash, Debbie Stuart, and Jeanne Nyman. These seven women embarked on a prayer journey in March of 2000. These women are who we call Erin’s “Praying Seven.” The week they began praying for my husband and I to become parents and for the baby we would adopt, Erin was conceived – those are some potent prayers. So we are up to eleven.

Honey is the one who was led by the Spirit to these seven ladies and would send letters to each of them with directions on what to pray and how to pray. Twelve.

The only One who could orchestrate such a miracle – God. Thirteen.

The adoption agency and the miracle workers at the hospital – you never know how many God actually uses to calm the nerves of the adoptive parents, the birth parents and of the baby to be adopted...the plus.

Each child has a story, and their story begins before conception. Psalm 139 is a chapter that I claimed for my daughter before her birth.

I encourage every woman I meet to journal. You never know what you are going to see when you look back into your history, your child's history or the history of your family. God is sooooo good, but too often we miss His touch. We miss His hand working because it is always working.

Your Origin Is a Point from Which to Rise -- just don't shake the family tree too hard

2012-01-04T07:22:00.000-06:00

My family tree isn’t one you go shakin’, if you know what I mean, and that’s assuming that you are assuming that my family tree has branches. Regardless, you just don’t know what nuts will fall or what kind of nut may hit you on the way down. While I do have a semblance of a family tree mapped out on both sides of my family, there was a family tree that intrigued me much more when I was growing up – Greek mythology. I know! Totally bizarre, isn’t it?

When I was young, I had very little interest in reading mainly because nothing caught my attention long enough for me to sit down and even attempt to focus. But one day in the library at school, I stumbled upon a Greek mythology book. I loved it. It stirred my imagination, and the pictures were so vivid. I’d like to tell you about one of these mythological figures. Her name is Phoebe. Hang with me! I promise we’ll get there.

Phoebe wasn’t a well-known goddess, but she was a “Titan goddess” and the “mother of Asteria and Leto, among other children.” “Phoebe, the goddess of intellect, was married to Koios.” She was the grandmother of Artemis and Apollo – those names may be more familiar. Some have believed she was the “goddess of the moon,” but Artemis was the moon god. (1) Phoebe’s name actually meant “bright” which some may say relates to her intellect, and others say due to being connected to the moon god.

I know this has to seem out of left field, but I promise you there is a point to my digging into the name of Phoebe. You see, there was a Phoebe in the Bible, and there are only two verses written about her. I wondered if someone was given an opportunity to write two verses about me what would it say about my life? Paul minces no words.

Knowing she was a convert, I wanted to know possible connections to her name and its origin. It is very common for children who are adopted to want to know about their origins. Origins give you something from which to rise, and for some, something from which to overcome. You cannot change your origins. It is part of who you are, but it does not have to define your future. Phoebe, in the Bible, discovered just this.

The first thing I noticed in Romans 16:1-2 about Phoebe is that Paul is giving her a letter of recommendation. Phoebe is not only a convert (a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ), but she is a servant. She did not sit on her laurels and become a fat, lazy, baby Christian. In my daughter’s devotional, it said Phoebe was a deacon/deaconess. This piqued my interest, so I did more digging. Diakonon = SERVANT in this scripture. “It has been transliterated into English as a deacon or deaconess.”(2) You know what this tells me? It tells me she became educated in the Word of God and in her faith. If she did hold the position of deaconess, then she applied the Word to her life and lived it through ministry and service. I have to tell you, I really like this chic.

Phoebe was a giver, a provider, a benefactor. One may even surmise she was wealthy and maybe even a business woman. Think about it – she hung out with Priscilla and Aquila. She was traveling without a documented spouse. Traveling involved more than going to Priceline.com or Travelocity.com and getting a ticket. Traveling was grueling and tiresome. It was physical, and yet, Phoebe did it.

Unlike other converts in her time, Phoebe kept her Greek name. She did not change it to a Christian name. There is something to be said about knowing who you are, knowing where you came from, and knowing that God loves you then, now and throughout infinity. She didn’t see her name or her history as a hindrance. She saw them as a point from which to rise.

I love how Paul asks the sisters and brothers in Christ in Rome to welcome Phoebe “in a manner worthy of the saints” – yet another way he showed she was to be respected and honored. You noticed he didn’t give all of Phoebe’s history or past. He didn’t write, “Oh friends in Rome, although Phoebe was once a lost Greek who committed the sin of having another god before the God, she has now seen the Light.” No, it’s none of their business to know what her past is, and it is her past should she be willing to share it. Paul obviously respected and appreciate Phoebe for who she was in Christ right then and how faithful she was in her service. Can anyone say that about you?

Phoebe was definitely bright. She applied herself. She handled things. She ministered to many. She’s my kinda gal. I think we need more Phoebes in the church and in the body of Christ. Don’t you?

(1) http://www.ehow.com/about_4566180_phoebe-greek-mythology.html

(2) Patterson, Dorothy Kelley & Kelley, Rhonda Harrington: Women’s Evangelical Commentary New Testament

(3) Acts 18:18 documents Paul being in Cenchrea with Priscilla and Aquila who are mentioned in Romans 16:3.

A New Day, A New Year, New Beginnings

2012-01-01T10:00:00.001-06:00

First day of school with new pencils and pens and fresh notebooks that have yet to be doodle on.

A new morning after a fresh layer of snow had fallen the night before.

Starting a new job.

Buying your first car or first home.

Relocating to a new city.

New beginnings. I love them. I’m so thankful that God’s mercies are new each and every day giving each day a new beginning (Lam 3:23).

Since this is January 1st, I thought I’d look at beginnings. You know, “In the beginning God…” (Gen 1:1).

At the beginning of every journey, every trial, every phase – GOD. But how often do we look to God first?

He was there before we made a decision to end one journey to start another. He was there before the trial was inflicted upon us. He was there before we entered into any new phase in our life. Maybe we should say, “Before the beginning GOD.”

God chose to create each of us because of His love for us. He knew the sacrifice He’d have to make, and He still chose to create us any way. We get our value, our worth from Him because He is our Creator and the lover of our souls. It pleases Him to maintain a healthy, ongoing relationship with His children, but He is just as thrilled when one of His wayward children returns. He offers us a fresh start over and over – He’s generous that way.

Genesis 1:2, “the Earth was without form and void.” If it didn’t have shape, what did it look like before God got ahold of it? What does your life look like before God gets ahold of it? “During the second and third days of creation, God gave form to the universe, during the next three days, God filled the earth with living beings”(1). Beginning a journey or trek in your life, often times it lacks form. It lacks definition. You don’t know where God is leading. You don’t know what God is doing. You have absolutely no control. You just have to take that first step. That first step of faith that when you put your foot out there you feel ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOTHING, and yet He wants you to put your weight on it. And without fail, when you put your weight on that foot, where there was once nothing there is now the Rock of your Salvation. If we allow Him to, God will give our journey, our trek, our trial, our life definition and form. The definition and shape He wants it to have in order to meet the needs in His Kingdom and the needs in your life.

Not only will He shape your journey, your dreams, but He’s the One who fills them with light. Isaiah 42:16, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These things I will do; I will not forsake them" (NIV). God knows exactly where He wants to lead you in this new year, this journey. Are you willing to follow? He wants to get you off those crooked paths you are on to get you back on a path He has planned for you -- the best path.

God’s Creation had an order. He didn’t make the land animals before solidifying the earth. He didn’t make the plants before He made light. So has He ordained every day of your life (Psalms 139:16). You may not understand the order – that’s okay. It’s not yours to understand. It is yours to obey.

The thing about the Christian journey is that God pours Himself into it, into the person. During the journey from this new beginning, we are to reflect Him, His holiness, and His love. When God made Adam and Eve, He made them to reflect himself.

Not only was there order to His creation, but God provides. God graciously gives us people in our lives to help us along our journey from that new beginning. They aren’t perfect, but neither are we. We should never put those people in our lives ahead of our God. They should not be placed on pedestals because there is to be no other God. You are to follow God alone, and to thank Him for those whom He chooses to add to our lives that help us along our way.

And then God rested – what should that tell us about our journeys, our treks, our trials? If God rests, then we in our weak, frail and sinful form must rest.

I have been so richly blessed with the women God has chosen to put into my life – some for a lifetime, some for a season and some for a reason.

My class has held me accountable whether they realized it or not. Just knowing I would be sitting in front of them on Sunday morning, encouraged and challenged me to go deeper, to grow deeper, to be as prepared as I possibly could be. Thank you for allowing me to the human and transparent.

Now God is calling me and my family to a new beginning. I believe there will be a season of rest and restoration as we search for the place God would have my whole family serve Him.

The women in the class aren’t to follow me, but rather to learn to follow Him, and I pray they’ve learned how to feed themselves from the Bread of Life. The best witness to this effect is when the class continues on and continues to mature in their faith. Make sure you follow your Creator and not a person.

1 Life Application Study Bible King James Version. Tyndale. (Pg 5)

OBSOLETE!

2011-12-28T10:56:00.000-06:00

Scrub boards. Attic fans. Victrola. Record players. Typewriters. Eight track players. Pony Express. Televisions with knobs and no remotes. (I’m convinced some people had children just to change the station on the TV!) VCRs. Floppy disks. Bag phones. Rotary phones. 35 MM negatives. Folding maps. Home phones. Pay phones. Phone booths. CDs. WHAT DO THESE THINGS HAVE IN COMMON? They are either obsolete or are on their way to being obsolete.

At one point in time, each of these were considering cutting edge. We couldn’t see living our lives without them, and yet when the upgrade came along, we adapted and adjusted our way of living to incorporate the new item. I remember when Steve had the first pager and bag phone I had ever seen...(My sister and I used to tell people his pager was really a garage door opener.)

Do you remember the small, green screens on computers? Do you remember the first Atari games – Ping Pong?

I’ve often wonder what my great grandmother would think if she would have seen my work computer when someone in Illinois was using my mouse solving the problem on my system.

My soon-to-be eleven, year-old daughter often makes me feel obsolete and antiquated, and puberty hasn’t even hit!

Recently, I was going through photographs getting them organized by years. I went from 35 mm film negatives, to discs, to memory chips for my digital camera.

I remember when I worked in my dad’s State Farm office in high school that I would have to call in the claims to the claims office. Whenever daddy would hear me on the phone dictating the loss, he would intentionally come into my office and do whatever he could to get me laughing so hard that I would have to hang up and recall to start over. Now, people go to the internet to turn in their claims.

As much as things have changed, there is one thing that remains the same. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Consistency – I look for it. I crave it. It’s security. Hebrews 11:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (NIV).

When your world seems to be spinning out of control and changing faster than you can keep up, when your life seems to be mass chaos rest assured your Rock, your Savior is as steady and confident about the plans and the future He has in store for you (Jer 29:11). He is as relevant today as He was with Moses. He is as current today as He was with Paul. He is alive today and actively participating in the lives of believers working it out for their good just as He has for centuries in the past and centuries to come. He will never become obsolete. Something for which to be thankful!

Stages of a Christmas Tree -- A Boy Changes Everything

2011-12-18T16:17:00.000-06:00

It’s not decorated with mesh garland, twinkle lights and sparkles galore. It doesn’t look like a designer visited my home putting touches of class here and there. The large, ornamental decorations that once hung on branches are replaced with hand-crafted treasures made by little hands of all ages. It isn’t even as large as we normally get, but it was decorated by my two children with ornaments filled with their shining faces in photograph form to document the Christmases before.

I was recently made aware that throughout life there are stages of a Christmas tree. When Patrick and I were first married, we were paying off debt, so we bought our little Christmas tree from a vendor in a parking lot in Duncanville, Texas. I don’t remember what kind it was, but we both remember the smell. It smelled of orange and spice. The fragrance filled the apartment. One or two string of lights and a few, inexpensive store-bought tree ornaments. We saved and bought our first home and could afford a few more decorations. Each year I added to my collection. I LOVE Christmas ornaments. I was collecting red (because red is my all-time favorite color), musical instrument ornaments, and clear beading and clear icicles. We went from a few measly ornaments to a tree full of lights, bows, ornaments and garb.

Then came baby one. Erin was such an easy baby. I could simply say, “Erin, that’s not yours. Don’t touch,” and she would withdraw her chubby, baby hand. We never had to change a thing about our tree UNTIL baby number two. By Pearce’s second Christmas, the tree started out beautifully decorated, but before the month was over, EVERY SINGLE ORNAMENT was above the three-foot mark. He couldn’t reach up much higher. Our tree was naked on the bottom three feet.

This year and last year, I relinquished my claim of decorating the Christmas tree. The kids wanted colored lights. The kids placed all of the ornaments (which means we have clumps of ornaments and bare spots). One of my collector ornaments was dropped and broken, but it was worth the time we had together. I know these years will be few and rare, so I will gladly relinquish my need to decorate and cherish this time we have with the kids.

The next stage is back to the Better Homes and Garden tree where I decorate it by myself – I will have plenty of years to be obsessive about my tree. Then comes the small, fake trees that are pre-lit and fit in the corner of a small room.

This tree talk reminds me of another tree many years ago that went through the many stages of development only to be made into a manger for animals and eventually to be made into a bed for a baby boy. There is also another tree connected to this baby boy. This tree is just as rugged and rough, but instead of holding a sweet, innocent, baby boy – the hope for eternity, it held the man who hung on it voluntarily for my sin. It held my redemption. Regardless of how the tree is ornamented whether by baubles, photos or by lights, remember the most important event that occurred on a tree was to give us all new life.

--Wind in the Attic and a Coon Hat

2011-12-07T22:13:00.000-06:00

Neither Lori nor I are sure how this happened, but our first born children have wind in their attics. We know they are intelligent. Erin started speaking in full, understandable sentences at 18 months, and Madeleine was tested when she was younger and tested quite high. We don’t know if it was something in the way we parented them or is it the fact that they were only children for the first three or four years of their little lives? Do we need to let them watch TV more and read to them less? I must say it does have us scratching our heads at times. Either of these two girls will do something and common sense just flies right out the window after it has circled their heads a couple of times.

What’s funny is now Pearce is explaining things to them. I’m afraid he’s going to tell his older sister about Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny!

Catherine wearing a coon hat.

Tonight at Honey and Poppar’s Christmas party for the grands, Catherine had found a raccoon hat – if you know Cat, you appreciate this. If you don’t know Cat, you might think this a little odd. Not to be outdone, when Catherine took the hat off, her older sister put the hat on backwards. Poppar called Madeleine (the older sister) over to him. He lifted the tail and wiped her forehead with a piece of tissue paper. Pearce was watching it all – taking it all in. He is all too keenly aware of things. Madeleine didn’t have a clue what Poppar was doing or what it meant. I asked Pearce if he knew what came out from underneath a coon’s tail. I wish I could have recorded his laugh. It was the biggest belly laugh you have ever heard and continued everytime he saw Madeleine with the backwards coon hat. He has one of those infectious laughs. Meanwhile, Madeleine stands there – not even catching a whiff of what is funny – then turns and walks off to the kitchen.

How can these two beautiful and smart little girls be so dingy?

Then you throw Catherine in the mix, and we have ourselves a mass chaos of 4. Catherine is all about having a good time. When she gets to say the blessing (and a Honey’s house, EVERYONE who wants to say a blessing is permitted), she always prays, “Help us to have a good time and no one to get in trouble.” See where her focus is?

It’s funny to sit back and watch them interact with one another or to see how they’ve changed. Even though Madeleine and Erin have been in the same grade at the same school since they were babies, we’ve had them separated in different classes since Erin could talk. We found out Erin was telling the other two year-olds she and Madeleine were twins. At that point, we thought it would be a good idea to separate them.

AND FOR THE RECORD…Honey and Poppar are NOT my parents. I’m not even sure where my parents went. At tonight’s Christmas party, Honey served the children cookie cake and either chocolate milk or juice. That would have NEVER happened when I was growing up in their house. If I would have asked for that Honey’s response would have been, “You’ll rot your teeth out.” Now mind you these were my baby teeth, and they were SUPPOSED to fall out of my head. It would have been cheaper than having to have them pulled. I was just trying to save them money.

I say all of this to say this…during this holiday season, observe your family. See how God wove you together as a family with each of your idiosyncrasies. It is by no accident that God put you together as a family. Be sure to thank Him for each and every nut in your family tree. Find something positive about each person and encourage them. Too often we wait until it is too late to say the simplest of things that mean the most.

Loves "Steele Magnolias" and Loves a Variety of Characters

2011-12-07T05:46:00.002-06:00

If I were to do a character sketch on the people in my family, there would not be a normal one in the bunch, and that is both sides of my family – my mom’s and my daddy’s. Some of you have heard stories from my daddy’s side of the family, and trust me when I say that is just a smidgeon of the stories coming from his side of the family tree. On my mom’s side, the characters may not be as wildly colored, but the characters are unique just the same. This holiday season, we open our homes to family, friends and friends of family…and sometimes perfect strangers.

Now, if you are a Southern woman, you know or have been trained how to welcome people into your home, how to make someone feel comfortable, and probably have mastered the art of small talk, but what happens when one of the most difficult people to deal with is one of your own family? Do you have anyone who continually makes poor decisions? Do you have anyone who is downright rebellious? Is there anyone in your family that people have just given up on? Isn’t it easy to judge someone else? How often do you make a snap judgment about someone you are passing? You see the way they are dressed. You see their size. You see their ethnicity. You see their possessions. You see ornamentation. And you make a snap decision about that person. HMMMMM. Too often the judgment comes out of the mouth. You know the quote by Clairee Belcher from Steele Magnolias, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then come sit by me.” Judgments about other people tend to spread quicker than the truth.

But let’s say that someone asks if they can bring a guest to your home for the holidays. Is that a problem? Typically, we have so much food that we are asking people to come and eat up until the day of the feast, so it’s not typically a problem. Let’s say they arrive, and the guest is a woman, a beautiful woman. She carries herself with her head held high. Her hair and make-up look like it is out of a Glamour magazine. She is the guest of another female friend of yours, and this unexpected guest is wearing the smallest of skirts, the tallest of heels, and the tightest of shirts. The smart, steel magnolia would sachet’ herself over to this guest to get the low-down, the dirt. As Truvy says on my favorite movie, “Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.” How would you treat this guest in your home?

There’s a woman in John 8 who was actually found in the act of adultery. Now to be presented as an adultress, there had to be preferably three people who caught her in the act. Could she possibly have been set up by the Pharisees? Absolutely, but we don’t know that for sure. All we know is the Pharisees brought this woman to Jesus. Can you imagine the humiliation, the shame, the embarrassment? All these MEN talking about her, what they saw her doing, and yet, where is the man? She couldn’t commit adultery alone – HELLO! The Pharisees had the dirt on this woman, and they were wanting to entrap Jesus.

While they were questioning Jesus, He stooped and drew on the ground. Not that it makes any great difference, but I sure would like to know what He was writing. If you are the Son of God, what would His doodling look like?

He stands up, and in verse 7 He says, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then Jesus returned to drawing on the ground…doodling. What if He was writing down their names in the dirt and listing their sins out beside their names! Those Pharisees were definitely schooled that day.

Verse ten says, “Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you’?” Jesus then tells her that He doesn’t condemn her either and to go live her life free from sin.

Think about the day that woman must have had. She was in the presence of her lover. She was caught in the most vulnerable of situations. More than one man caught her in the act and pulled her out to be judged while leaving her lover to escape without consequences. The shame, the fear (she could be stoned). As she is standing, clutching her clothes to her body in front of these men who are judging her and holding her future in their hands, she receives forgiveness and redemption from the true lover of her soul.

We don’t know what brought her to this point in her life. Just like you don’t know what has brought that woman guest to this point in her life that she is now in your home, your church, your party. Jesus extended grace. What will you extend?

The Elf on the Shelf Freaks Erin Out

2011-12-04T15:45:00.000-06:00

Had I thought things through I would have known that Erin would not have appreciated the Elf on the Shelf.

Erin did not have an issue with the big man himself. She liked the idea of Santa bringing toys for her benefit, but it was very concerning to her that while she was sleeping that this man would enter our home in the most unconventional means, eats our food, drink our milk, and leave toys behind. I had never thought about it myself, but she makes perfect sense.

Have you ever gone to bed at night and heard something rattle outside or even worse inside your home? I’ve grabbed a baseball bat once. My heart was pounding so loud I thought everyone down our street could hear it. For Erin, Santa was a stranger in her house making all sorts of noises. One year she heard him putting up a train set, and the next she heard him putting up a racetrack.

Two Christmases ago, I thought it would be great fun to introduce the Elf in the Shelf to my children. For those of you who have not heard about the Elf on the Shelf, it is a doll and book. When the doll shows up, the host family names the elf. Erin says we named ours Elvis. Elvis lasted three nights before Erin broke down in tears, “He just freaks me out!” Elvis was to watch over the actions and deeds of those in our house, and at night, he would go to the North Pole to report what he observed to Santa Claus. I was SOOOOOO hoping this would make an impression on the boy-child. When the elf appears the next morning, he shows up in the most unusual of places, and he is the most mischievous of elves. I’ve seen photos of where an elf rolled the inside of someone’s den. The kicker is that the children have to clean up after the Elf – I like that part. The straw that broke Erin’s last nerve was Elvis showing up in the children’s bathroom. She heard him go into her room that night and then into the bathroom. What she really heard was my entering her room to check on her, but there was no confusing her with the facts…not happening. She was not going to sleep again until that elf was out of the house. He was gone that very morning. So sad. I was hoping to have a lot of fun with the elf.

I started thinking about the Elf on the Shelf this week as I pulled out the Christmas decorations for my home. I have Nativity Scenes for every room in my home. The children have one for each of their rooms. There is one in the den, and one in the dining room. As a general rule, we don’t put baby Jesus into the manger until Christmas morning when we sing “Happy Birthday.” Is Baby Jesus like the Elf on the Shelf in your house? Do you bring Jesus out once a year because it is the decorative thing to do? When you bring baby Jesus out, do your family and friends think that it is just part of the holidays – something fun with which to decorate? Or do they know just how holy this holiday is to you? It would be a bit freaky or odd to say the least if the only time you brought Jesus into your home was as a baby during the Christmas holidays. Don’t ya think?

Wants to Thank the Women of Calvary -- this last day in November

2011-11-30T16:11:00.001-06:00

Since starting the Women IN Ministry in Fall of 2009, the women of Calvary did amazing things. We were doing the things our pastor was preaching…we were being the church outside the church. I want to take this time to thank the women of Calvary for the following:

• Thank you to the women who attended the very first get-together in the old fellowship hall. The ladies changed tables and answered questions about themselves and met new women at each one. We concluded with a time of corporate prayer, and it was powerful. It was amazing to see how God put a newly young widow at the same table as an established young widow – they had never met before that night. Another woman was led to prophesy to another about the promises of God for her life and the future of her husband in medicine – God is faithful.

• Thank you to the women who came and learned to knit during our Lost Arts nights. We knitted scarves for the Romanian orphans. The scarves actually looked really good. NOTHING like the first one I did.

• Thank you to the women who knitted baby blankets and made the flannel baby blankets that were donated to the Crisis Pregnancy Center. I can’t remember how many they were, but they filled a long table stacked 5-6 high.

• Thank you to the women who donated other baby items to the Crisis Pregnancy Center at the Christmas Tea. Three tables were filled with wonderful things for the CPC.

• Thanks to the women who secured the items for the silent auction at the Christmas Tea that raised over $700 for the CPC.

• Thank you for the women of Calvary who began volunteering at the CPC because of their exposure to it during this semester.

• Thank you to the women who hosted the tables at the Christmas Tea. They were so diverse and wonderful.

• I’m thankful for those of you who invited your family, friends and co-workers to the Christmas Tea.

• Thank you to the women who opened their homes, who taught how to decorate cupcakes and cakes during our Sweet Stars. Those cakes and cupcakes were sold and raised over $600 for the Heart of Hope Maternity Home.

• Thank you to the women who brought their unchurched friends to the Sweet Stars, and thank you to the women who ventured out into these small groups for the first time in an effort to get connected at Calvary.

• Thank you to the women who donated baby diapers for the young mom who found herself pregnant with triplets after having a 5 year old and 9 month old. This young mom had written off church, but as a result of your caring and your love she and her whole family became active until they moved out of Shreveport.

• Thank you to all the women who were the church outside the church and went to Heart of Hope Maternity Home to stock, to clean and to decorate. So thankful you were able to be the feet of Jesus.

• Thanks to all the women who donated pantry items and groceries to the Heart of Hope Maternity Home.

• For all the women who came to the Mother’s Day breakfast, thank you. There was at least 500 + women.

• For the women who participated in Hearts and Feet – this group of women ministered to women in our church who had cancer. They would pray for them, show up at the hospital for a treatment, send them cards and gifts. They were the heart and feet of Jesus. Thank you.

• Thanks to my young’uns. I loved discipling y’all. You are an amazing group of young women -- all of whom are now engaged or married. You all know how to reach me. Thank you for allowing me that honor of investing in your lives.

• Thanks to the ten to twelve prayer warriors that I’ve called since the beginning of this ministry. I’ve connected prayer warriors with women in crisis whether it was a health issues, marital, financial, or other. The warriors were so faithful to pray for those struggling. Thank you.

• For the ladies who started the library of books. We were building a library for women to have access to. With the economy the way it is, we realized that books may be a luxury item for some, and we were offering that as an option.

• Thank you to the ladies who helped fill goody bags to bless the nursery workers and the children Sunday school teachers.

• Thanks to Mrs. Lavahn who was always in the WIM office on Sunday morning in case a woman needed encouragement or prayer.

• And last but not least, I want to thank the wonderful women of the WIM team. There was never one argument. Our focus was on God first and seeking where He would have us go and what He’d have us do. Thank you Debbie for being the calm, consistent force keeping me on task. Thank you Donna for being the powerhouse God has created you to be. It has been so neat to watch you grow and bloom. Mrs. Lavahn, you have made me laugh and smile too often to count. You are a constant source of encouragement. Mrs. Jean, thank you for being so congenial and willing to help. Mrs. Kathy, thank you for your energy and passion that you brought to the team. Deann, thank you for bringing your sweetness and your heart and willingness to serve. Traci, ummm – just kidding. Traci, I love ya. I was really looking forward to working with you on teaching women how to talk to other women about Christ. I’m so glad God had our paths cross. You challenge me. Sunni, thank you for your creativeness and your heart for young moms. I’m so glad you are now that stay-at-home mom. Sally Gaspard, you are an amazing, powerful woman, and it was a pleasure to serve alongside you. Kelly Johnson was also on the team in the beginning lending her passion for the Word of God. Julie Choate with her experience in women’s ministry was on the first team as well and has cultivated and mentored myself as well as others in the church. Love you. Mom, thank you for being willing to follow and give advice and not feel threatened. Thank you for teaching my group of women on Sunday mornings when I needed you to do so. Your wisdom, experience and insight has been immeasurable.

I have so much for which to be thankful. A lot of women’s lives were touched as we were Jesus’ hands and feet, and I have learned so much from you all.

Pearce said, "I regret bringing you here."

2011-11-28T08:00:00.001-06:00

Pearce and I reached the peak of a 1.5 mile hike up a mountain. I had begged him half way for us to turn around. “Pearce, would it hurt your feelings too badly if we turned around and headed back?” “Come on, mom. Put your faith into it. You can do it.” Great! He’s questioning my faith. We finally made it to the top which was a bit lack-luster or anti-climatic. Pearce was bent over and breathing heavy and said, “Mom, I regret bringing you up here. Shoot! I regret making myself come up here.” That kid cracks me up. But once again, it wasn't about reaching the mountaintop. It was about the journey.

This hike was in Bandelier National Monument, and Pops (Patrick’s dad) had graciously agreed to take Pearce and myself to see where the cliff dwellers once lived. Part of the Bandelier Park is a 1.5 mile hike. It wasn’t nearly as treacherous as the hike we completed the day before, and while I wasn’t sore from yesterday’s adventure (miracle beyond miracles), it was still rather steep in places. I treasure having one-on-one time with my kids. Out of Erin and Pearce, Pearce is probably the most like myself, while Erin and Patrick are two peas in a pod. This second hike had amazing views, and the conversations were wonderful.

On the 1.5 mile hike down the mountain, Pearce said, “You know, I think we need to pray on the way down.” Wanting to encourage his leadership in this area, I agreed and encouraged him to begin. I wasn’t sure if he was praying that we would make it down safely or what, so listening to his prayer peaked my interest. Pearce prayed for his daddy who had altitude sickness and for his sister who had chosen to stay back with Patrick and Dodie. Afterward he said, “Isn’t it amazing how creative and crafty God is?” He had stopped and was taking in the view while drinking some water. I just love times like these. Pearce challenges me physically to do more than anyone else.

Part of Bandelier allows people to climb up ladders into little cave in the side of the mountain where Native American’s called “Cliff Dwellers” used to live. He climbed every ladder, and I climbed a few. We saw paintings on the side of the mountain that had faded over the years of sunlight burning into the surface of the mountain. We heard the stream down below, and we wondered how these people lived so minimally.

I am so thankful to have had time away with my family. I am so blessed.

What I Learned Headed to the Mountain-Top...

2011-11-27T16:36:00.000-06:00

On our second day of hiking in Santa Fe, I was questioning my sanity and the strength of my own legs as they were beginning to feel like rubber bands. The first day we hiked 1.3 miles up the side of a mountain at Kasha-Katuwe Tent Rocks National Monument. Patrick, his dad and his wife went half way up while Erin, Pearce and I hiked to the summit of these amazing hills and mountains. Patrick was suffering from altitude sickness, so the kids and I wandered the paths, climbed over rocks and boulders, squeezed through tight places and climbed to heights we had never reached before. I have to admit I wasn’t all that excited about reaching the top…atypical for a type-A person.

My family had not had a vacation since I started seminary, and we were in dire need of some time away. Personally, when I go on vacations to relax I like to curl up with a good book and listen to the waves pound the sand, but this wasn’t that kind of vacation…obviously. Believe it or not when I am on vacation and trying to relax, I’m a lot calmer and even quiet. I know that may surprise some of you, but I really am.

So, as the children and I were trekking upward and onward, I was taking my time, and what I learned was this – Sometimes we are so geared for that mountain-top experience that we negate the experience from the climb, and we overlook the beauty in the journey.

A tree standing between rocks straining for the sun in striking contrast to the rocks surrounding it against the bluest of blue skies.

Rocks that must have been honed by God’s own hand just to entertain the angels and humans who would discover these tent-shaped rocks. (Loved that conversation with my kids)

Swirls of different colored layers of stone crawling overhead and along each wall.

Children playing in the twisted and gnarled roots of a tree that refuses to die.

Places so tight along the path and so treacherous that not everyone who attempted would be allowed to pass.

Boulders balancing precariously atop of tent-shaped mounts.

I saw my children tackling their fears and asserting leadership.

And once we were almost to the top, we saw the tent-shaped mounts from a different perspective.

I saw works of art that I would have missed had I just been set on reaching the mountain-top experience.

God uses everything along whatever journey you are on. It is okay to observe your surroundings as you journey towards the mountain summit. I encourage you. By doing so, you will see that you are actually living life and experiencing life not overlooking the least of God’s blessings along the way.

And when you have to come down from the mountain top, as we all must, remember the view is different, so take your time. Enjoy the view. Learn what you can, and encourage those who are going up to the top to not stop and those who are headed down to keep their footing sure and their eyes open for the miracles that can happen if we are just aware. Because if we travelled 1.3 miles up, then we travelled 1.3 miles down.

What an amazing trek with my kids. Great conversations. Awesome experience. Time well-spent.

The End of Women's Ministry at Calvary

2011-11-23T16:00:00.000-06:00

I have written this blog at least a dozen different ways in my mind since I found out two weeks ago that Pastor Rick was going to close the women’s ministry in Calvary. I have to admit I was the most ill-equipped women’s ministry leader at the beginning of this journey. The first time our church did the Daniel’s fast in January of 2009, God revealed so much to me. He laid out what missions He wanted His daughters to focus on until December 2011. I assumed that after that point He would reveal to me what He wanted His daughters to do in ministry. During that first fast He laid it heavy on my heart that I needed to become equipped. Investigating insurance fraud doesn’t prepare a woman for ministering to women, in case you wondered. And as much as I did not want to go to seminary, this is where He led, so I followed. In June of 2009, I entered seminary taking Master level courses in women’s ministry. This December I will graduate with two certificates (Basic and Advanced) with a 4.0. WOOOHOOOO!!!

I have to tell you being a wife and mom, working a full-time job, leading a ministry, and going to seminary seemed very daunting and overwhelming, but I knew this is where God was leading me. This 2011 year has been a particularly difficult year for my family. My family sacrificed for me to go to seminary. I would go for a week at a time only to return with two 15 page papers, two final exams and four books to read in four weeks…this didn’t include the work I had to do for my online classes. Plus my family began this year not knowing if I would have a job with benefits. We had to wait until August to find out that God had answered our prayers. I would get to keep my job and benefits, and I would be starting to work from home in 2012 – WOOHOO! At the end of March, Patrick began working out of town. I was single-parenting from March until the beginning of August. For all you ladies you prayed, supported and encouraged me during this time – thank you, thank you, thank you. Then at the end of July, Patrick’s mom became deathly ill, and we began trekking 5 ½ hours to see her while Patrick would go every few days. Gynelle passed away at the beginning of September. Two weeks later, Patrick’s 47 year-old cousin was found dead (Gynelle’s niece). The mother of this cousin was admitted to a hospital where she remains. Then this Thanksgiving week, Poppa Bob (Patrick’s step-dad) fell off a ladder and suffered a severe concussion and bruised ribs. He doesn’t remember that Gynelle died. He was flown to Jackson, Mississippi, because of the three bleeders in his brain.

I tell you all of that to say this. I do not believe for one moment that God would have my family go through such hardship to tell me to stop ministering to women. Calvary may not have a ministry for women, but I know this is a calling God has put on my life (often times, much to my chagrin). So what now? I’m not a quitter. I will continue to follow where God leads. I don’t have to defend the work that He led us to do these past 2 ½ years because I can honestly say that everything that was done was prayed over by a godly group of women, and we didn’t move unless we as a team in unison believed this was where God was leading. So, now I’m waiting on God to see why He wanted me to become equipped to do women’s ministry. I wait to see what doors He opens, and I anticipate the adventure that lies beyond because a growing Christian’s life is never dull.

I see more and more women starting ministries outside the church, and the ones I’ve spoken to regarding their ministries, I now understand their choices and reasoning. I don’t know if God will lead me to start a ministry outside the church or work with one that is already established. I just know that women have the same calling to serve and minister in the body of Christ, and I can’t wait to see how God will use me next.

Ladies of Calvary, I love you and I thank you for your involvement, your excitement and your passion to serve and minister. I’m still available for lunch or to meet for coffee if you want to talk. You can still reach me on FB, e-mail, text or phone if you need someone to pray for you, pray over you, or pray with you, please don’t hesitate to call me. You are amazing women, daughters of the Most High God.

INDULGENCE -- Lesson 1

2011-11-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of this fast, I have to admit I didn’t think anything about spiritual warfare. Hadn’t even crossed my mind. But on the third day, my accountability partner was verbally attacked on the local news where the public was given a forum to give their opinions based on their limited, one-sided knowledge. If you will pray a hedge of protection around her and her family, I’d greatly appreciate it. Then on the third day, I went to withdraw the Christmas Fund money to begin buying presents. The money and my driver’s license were in the envelope. I believe I put it in my purse, but it could have been in my lap. I went to Lifeway to look for a book for seminary, and when I got out of the truck, something hit the ground. I looked to see if my water bottle had fallen, and I saw nothing. So, I went on my way. It wasn’t until 5:30 PM that I began looking for the money and realized it was NOT in my bag. Patrick came home, so I could go back to Lifeway. On the drive all the way back to town, I was crying and praying because it was a lot of money. I rested in the fact that God knew exactly where it was, and if He so desired, He would restore me…one way or another. It still grieved me to no end.

It was then that I remembered the word that God had kept putting the word indulgence in my heart and mind. To be quite frank, I had never really thought about that word. It’s not one I use on a regular occasion. It isn’t part of my normal vernacular, so being the investigator that I am, I began to dig.

According to www.dictionary.reference.com indulgence means the gratification of desire. In length the definition given is, “a pleasure, habit, etc, indulged in; extravagance” or “liberal or tolerant treatment,” “something granted as a favour or privilege.” In commerce indulgence is “an extension of time granted as a favour for payment of a debt or as fulfillment of some obligation.”

So, what is my desire? Last night, it was definitely to find that envelope. My desire is to have direction for women’s ministry. I’d like to have my house completely remodeled, so we can move into town. But most importantly, I want to be in God’s will, and I want to be in-line with the leadership He has given me. This reminds me of James 1:17 - 18, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through all the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created”(NIV). He wants to bless us. He wants to indulge us as His children. Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart”(NIV). Does this mean God gives us everything we want?NO. He doesn’t want to spoil us. Do you like being around a spoiled child? Plus, these desires come after we delight in Him. If we are spending time with Him and communing with Him, then He is speaking to our hearts. He is putting those desires in our hearts, and then blessing us with providing it.

As Paul Harvey says, “Here’s the rest of the story.” I got up and ran a couple of errands after having gone to work this morning. I had to run home because we had forgotten to send Pearce’s snacks with him to school, so I ran all the way home to get them. When I returned to the truck, I noticed I had a missed call. It was a number I didn’t recognize, and there was a voice mail. A husband and wife had found my driver’s license in the parking lot at Lifeway. Would I please call her back? I immediately called her back with tears brimming on the edges of my eyes. I introduced myself and asked if she had found my driver’s license in an envelope full of money. Apparently, they had found my house phone number and had been trying to reach me but couldn’t because we use that line for a fax machine for Patrick’s business. Then her brother suggested googling my name. My name pulled up references to my leading women’s ministry at Calvary. She called Calvary, and they gave her my number.

God’s restoration is perfect. It’s like Pastor Rick said, God doesn’t use duct tape. His restoration is perfect. So today at three, I picked up my driver’s license and the envelope with all the Christmas money in it.

He indulged me with His favor to give me the desire of my heart. He got my attention.

INDULGENCE

2011-11-09T19:34:00.000-06:00

Where do I begin? How about the end and work backwards? I lost an envelope that contained a large sum of money and my driver’s license. It was my Christmas fund.

Now to the beginning…last week I met with one of the women on my team for brunch and discussed part of what God had laid on my heart. I asked her to teach a Bible study on a subject, and we purchased the book together. During our conversation, she said she was going to fast in order to detox and to pray about leading this class. We started the Daniel’s fast on Monday. Today is the third day, Wednesday, and she is going to be verbally attacked on our local news, and the money I withdrew to by Christmas presents is missing. I’ve also been sick this week while trying to get my seminary work turned in by next week. So far, I’m wondering, “Why did I agree to do this fast?” Apparently, we have stirred up a hornet’s nest.

Since starting this fast, there is one word that keeps coming into my mind and heart – Indulgence. This word has nothing to do with the subject for which we are praying. I have a feeling this is God’s revelation to me.

I know that God knows where the money and my driver’s license is, and I know that He is more than able to return all of it to me…if that is in His will.

I know that whatever happens on the news tonight or whatever happens with the Christmas money that God is going to work it out. I just have to have faith and trust. Will you please pray with me that whatever happens that God will receive the glory? Will you pray with me that God will use these things that Satan meant for harm us that God will turn it around for our good? He is more than able. He is more than capable. Will you also pray for God’s protection over us and our families? I don’t think the adversary likes what God has placed in my heart.

Spiritual warfare is very real. I’m looking to God to do great things in this fast. I’m expecting Him to give us guidance and wisdom.

I’ll let you know where He leads me regarding INDULGENCE, and how things turn out.

Has Been Bullied...And Here's the Rest of the Story

2011-11-04T19:33:00.000-05:00

I wadded up my fist, reared back as I walked over to my bully, and let an upper cut fly.

It was my senior year in high school. I was 5 foot 6 ½” and maybe 105 pounds on a good day, and I had reached my maximum capacity of bullying. I don’t think I had recognized it as such, but now that I look back I think it qualifies. I had to go to a competitor’s school my senior year, and one of the football players had been throwing rocks at me as I would walk across the quad to different classes. This had gone on for weeks. Thing is I liked him as a person, but he had gotten on my last nerve, and I had had enough. ENOUGH.

So, I wadded up my fist, reared back as I walked over to my bully, and let an upper cut fly. When his head came back down to where he looked down into my eyes, I said, “Cut. It. Out.” I turned around and walked off as the other football players were laughing.

Had I thought my actions through? PLEASE! No, I hadn’t. Was there a better way to have handled the situation? Maybe. Was my way effective? (I’m smiling.) Yes, yes it was. Later he would come to me and tell me to let him know if anyone ever bothered me, he would take care of it. I told him I could take care of myself.

My daddy had taught me to fight when I was in elementary school after my first fight with a boy. Could I have held my own with the football player? Are you kidding me? He was about twice my size. But the element of surprise was on my side.

I didn’t think about that scene until recently. During small group on Sunday morning, one of the ladies in my class referred to meeting her high school bully. She referred to the other woman as “my bully.” Then I heard of a girl this week hitting a boy at school who had been bullying her, and then his mother all of the sudden had a problem with it.

Let me go ahead and tell you, my children are not perfect, but if I ever find out one of mine has bullied another person there will be a serious come-to-Jesus meeting in the Mullins’ house. Truthfully, I only have concerns regarding one of them. The other one just gushes mercy…they don’t tend to be bullies (hahaha).

It’s about respect. We are learning about respect in my house these days. Respect for what God says in His word. Respect for parents and authorities. Respect for others. Respect for ourselves. Respect in the way we talk to others. Respect in the way we behave. It all goes towards the showing the world the type of character we have.

I’ve told my kids I want them to do three things, and if they do these three things, they will be doing great. 1) Be Respectful 2) Be Obedient 3) Be Kind. Respect goes a long way. If a young lady respects herself, she isn’t going to allow some boy to disrespect her. If a young man respects his parents and authorities, he has learned to submit his will and will be more likely to follow God’s leadership. Obedience is for the development of their character and for their protection. Kindness means they are looking for ways to bless or benefit someone else – they aren’t just looking out for themselves. I’m praying these lessons stick.

Obedience is not a dictatorship. I totally believe in giving my children choices when it is appropriate and when they’ve earned it. My children are learning about rites and privileges. They now understand rites mean air, food, education, and clothes. Privileges are the blessings in life and can be withheld or removed. We want so much to give our children good things, to bless them with their hearts’ desires…Does this sound familiar? Matthew 7:11-12 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” That about sums it up for parenting and bullying, doesn’t it? So thankful my God gives good gifts and blesses me even when I don't deserve it. So thankful God is faithful to work on developing my character and loves me enough to not leave me as I am.

Treasured Treasure

2011-10-28T18:08:00.000-05:00

One of my most favorite pieces of jewelry is one the no one bought for me. There are several things that I love about it:

1. It is one of a kind

2. It is from the Philippines

3. My Pappaw brought it back to my Mammaw after fighting in the Navy during WW2

But I almost missed it.

You have to understand, my Pappaw was one of my favorite people. His easy smile. His quiet spirit. The smell of his pipe. His big hands and bald head. (He used to say, “God only makes so many perfect heads. The other heads have hair.) Pappaw kept a wooden box in a drawer in his dresser. I remember seeing it when I was growing up wondering what was in it. When I was in college, I asked him what was in it and if I could look in it. He grinned and handed me the box. It had old pictures of him in his Navy uniform with his hat to the side – even in his pictures he had swagger. He reminded me of John Wayne. He was such a good lookin’ man. There were little knick-knacks, and things I don’t remember. Then I saw this small, hard piece of jewelry. I asked him about it. He told me that while he was a cook in the Navy he had gone to the Philippines and bought this bracelet for Mammaw. She had long since stopped wearing it, but for some reason he had kept it. (I don’t know why, but it must have been something he liked too.) I asked him if I could have it. He grinned and handed it to me. Of course, I made sure it was okay with Mammaw that I had it. I couldn’t tell what it was. It was corroded and black. I thought there was a coin of some sort, but I just couldn’t make out the rest. I took it to a jeweler who was tentative about cleaning it once I told him the story, but he agreed to put it into a shaker or vibrator. I came back the next day, and I was amazed. All of the blackness, all of the corrosion had been shaken off to reveal that there wasn’t just one coin but seven coins.

Being in the insurance industry, I tried to get it appraised in order to get it insured. The lady who does all my appraisals said she could not put a price or value on it because she had never seen anything like it, and knowing its history, she didn’t feel that an appraisal would do any good because it could never be replaced.

Irreplaceable. Rare. Beautiful. Shiny. All qualities I love in jewelry.

Individually, the coins really aren’t worth much. If the coins were loose coins, they still wouldn’t be worth much. But because someone took the time to solder the coins together during World War II and sell it in the Philippines to a Navy seaman, it is priceless. This is synergy. Together the parts are more than the sum of the parts because it is priceless.

We are all a bit like this bracelet. Irreplaceable. Rare (Each of us is one of a kind.) Beautiful (especially on the inside when God cleans us up).

There is one difference. You have a price. You have been bought with a price. Jesus died on the cross to pay the cost of your sins, so you can have a relationship with a most Holy God. The question is…”Do you have a relationship with God?” When you stand before Him one day to be judged (as we all will), how will you answer Him when He asks, “Why should I let you into heaven?” Your answer will determine whether you get in or not. If you are interested, send me a message. I’ll be glad to share this unique, priceless gift He has waiting for you.

Hidden in Plain Sight -- Don't ya just love it?!

2011-10-25T16:22:00.000-05:00

When I was sick as a little girl, my mom would take me to see Dr. Asseff here in Shreveport. I’m not really sure how she came to choose Dr. Asseff as my doctor, but his office wasn’t the child-friendly place like where my kids go now. One thing I do remember about Dr. Asseff’s office was the magazine Highlights. Anyone remember that magazine? What I loved and despised about this magazine was the “Hidden Pictures” challenge. If you don’t know what that is, there are pictures to the side of a larger, more complex picture. The pictures on the sides were of items to be found in the larger, more complex picture. Basically, these individual pictures were hidden in plain sight. It used to tick me off because invariably I could find all but one miniscule thing. Like finding a needle in a haystack. The irony is that part of what I do for a living is looking for that needle in the haystack by trying to find connectors between parties, and I love it. I love the challenge of getting’ ‘em.

But this morning, I did not appreciate the “hidden in plain sight” challenge. I took my keys outside to open the truck and put my things in. I walk back into the house, scolded Erin about an issue, went to get some books regarding my seminary classes, and when it was time for me to leave…the keys were not in my hands…or in my pocket…or behind my ear…or in the truck…or on my bed…or under my bed…or between the sheets of my bed…or in the bathroom. I was continually talking out loud to God. “I know You know where they are. I know You can see them. Please direct my feet, my eyes and my mind to their location. Open my eyes. Jar my memory. SHOW ME!” You get the picture.

It was like they evaporated into thin air. I’m still not confident that Pearce didn’t hide them when he found out I was going to be taking them to school. It rocks his little world when we change the schedule up on him. Needless to say, fifteen minutes later, Patrick gave me the spare set of keys, and he took the kids to school while I continued to rake over my house and retrace my steps. I left the house this morning with the spare set of keys in hand, and my personal set of keys sitting somewhere in plain sight. I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT! HATE IT. UGGH! Does this only happen to me? It happens even more when I am tired, stressed and off my ADHD medicine – not a good mixture on any day.

Sometimes I feel like this in my spiritual walk, in the ministry that God has put on my heart to do. His will is in plain sight, and I don’t have a clue what is, where it is, or where to even begin to look for it. I know He sees it. It’s right out there for Him to see. I find myself crying out, “I know You know where I’m supposed to be going. I know You can see the way. Please direct my feet, my eyes and my mind to that location. Open my eyes. Jar my mind. SHOW ME!” If He would just show me where I am supposed to go or what I’m supposed to be using these two women’s ministry certificates for, I’d really be very grateful. I’m ready. I’m ready to rock and roll. Let’s get it on! Bring it on! (About now, I’m sure He’s chuckling.)

There was a verse He gave me very early on in my path to ministering to women – Isaiah 42:16. I claimed this verse because I was completely out of my element, completely out of my comfort zone, and ill-equipped. I find myself going back to that verse now that I have confidence in His calling in my life and have a little training under my belt.

• “I will lead” (I’m pretty sure He doesn’t appreciate my pushing)

• “the blind” (here we go with that whole hidden in plain sight thing)

• “by ways they have not known” (this excites me and it is why I am so eager to get going)

• “along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;” (can’t get any more unfamiliar than following the Spirit where He leads regarding ministry – but no other place to be)

• “I will turn the darkness into light before them” (could have used some of that illumination this morning in the search for my keys. Also need His light to show me where and how I am to minister to women)

• “and make the rough places smooth” (So thankful He goes before me and has me hemmed in from the front and the back – Ps 139)

• “These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” (Why did I get so frantic this morning? I know those stupid keys will show up? Why do I get so restless waiting on God to show me what He wants me to do for His Kingdom? He’s got this. He’s got me.)

P.S. I’d really appreciate your praying that I can find my keys. I’m giving myself a grace period before I have to go and invest in a new set.

Strong-Willed Child -- A 3 AM Lesson

2011-10-13T05:32:00.000-05:00

Yes, it was a 3 AM morning…meaning this is when God wakes me up to have a conversation. This morning it was about my strong-willed child. I was really surprised by the number of parents that hit “like” on my Facebook post about raising a strong-willed child. I know that there are others out there in cyberspace raising a strong-willed child, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem like. Sometimes it feels very lonesome because the discipline issues can be so daunting.

I love God by the way. His Word is living and active and is as relevant today as it was the day it was penned. For the past week, I’ve really been struggling with my strong-willed child. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed the power of the blood of the cross from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet! So, at 3 AM this morning when God woke me wide awake it was to remind me of the story of Jacob.

Just to refresh your memory. Jacob was a thief. He stole Esau, his twin brother’s blessing, and then went on the run for fear Esau would kill him. In Genesis 32, Jacob is returning home and has sent a messenger ahead to meet his brother. When the messenger returns, they tell him that Esau is bringing 400 men. In a panic, Jacob divides his people into two groups hoping that at least one will survive. “9 Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, LORD, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’” Point of encouragement – God knows what it takes to bring a strong-willed child to pray.

The next day he sends his people in waves out to meet Esau, and each wave is instructed to tell Esau these gifts were from his servant Jacob. Jacob’s gifts went ahead of him. Point of encouragement – Jacob used his ability to manipulate/maneuver people for his benefit. Yes, this isn’t always a good thing, but in this instance, it preserved his life.

Then Jacob spent the night. This is the point in the story that God reminded me of some things. In verse 24 it says, “24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” God wrestled with Jacob all night. Jacob would not relent. He wouldn’t cry “uncle.” Jacob wouldn’t quit fighting. This is where I’ve been living this past week…my strong-willed child fighting authority. God sooooo knew that I needed this. Jacob fought throughout the night and into morning…Point of encouragement – One day when this child’s will has been shaped and molded, he will have the stamina and ability to stand his ground. (Assuming this child is allowed to live that long – just kidding)

I love what happens next. This is classic for a strong-willed child. “25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak. But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The messenger from God had to physically lay hands on the strong-willed, child of God in order to get the child to submit. You’d think that would be enough, but it wasn’t. Just when you think you are on top of the situation that strong-will child has one more move to make. Jacob says he won’t let go until he blesses him. “I’ll do what you tell me if…” Surrendering or submitting under his own conditions – this is soooo my child.

“27 The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. 28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[f] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” 29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[g] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Did the messenger have to ask his name? Of course not, but it does give Jacob an opportunity to realize who he is and who he is not (God). God’s messenger changes Jacob’s name to Israel. Up until now only two other people had their names changed by God – Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah. The next part of Scripture is true about strong-willed kids (or at least mine). Jacob “struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Did he beat God? No, but he was allowed to survive the whole incident which is a miracle in and of itself – anyone know what I’m talking about? Point of encouragement – These kids are overcomers.

One last point before I close. God was always in control. He didn’t act in anger. He was in control to the very end, and to make sure Jacob/Israel understood that the messenger of God never reveals his name to Jacob. It was irrelevant to the situation, and the messenger was in control of what information and what words to say. As parents we have to be careful of what we say and what we tell our kids during the times that we wrestle with them. Proverbs 3:12 says, “the Lord disciplines those He loves.” Discipline is done in love not anger, and our behavior and our words as their parents need to be the same.

Sorry this is so long, but it is what God was teaching me this morning.
* Scripture from NIV

Calvary's Women In Ministry...Under Protection

2011-10-02T16:51:00.000-05:00

We have a miniature beagle named Jade. She is one of the happiest dogs you will ever meet, but she isn’t much smarter than the day she arrived on this planet. As a matter of fact, beagles are on the list of one of the dumbest dogs, but to their defense it is because their noses run headstrong over any common sense. Once their noses get working on a scent, nothing else seems to matter. You can call her till you are blue in the face, but she will not come. Jade is one of the sweetest, most loving, most tolerant dogs I have ever seen. She leans on you. Erin will be sitting on the floor doing homework, and Jade will come and plop her hiney down right beside Erin and start leaning on her. If Erin moves, Jade tumbles. Pearce, needless to say, is all over this dog. He loves on her more than anyone else in this family. Then there is Jade’s tail. It wags incessantly…sometimes side to side and other times in a circle, whacking whatever is around her. And when we arrive home at the end of the day, Jade comes trotting down the drive-way, tail wagging and smiling from long ear to long ear. We call her the “welcoming committee.” Oh to be such a happy person as she is a happy dog.

So, when I saw this picture come up on the internet, I cracked up laughing. This is so my dog. This dog is so intent on finding a scent or following the scent, he doesn’t realize that the thing he is hunting is actually hunting him! The fox is a male trying to protect his den full of his cubs. That fox could very easily reach up and take a bite out of that dog’s backend.

The longer I looked at that picture, the harder I laughed. That is soooo my dog. That is sooooo my dog. Just happy to be outside. Happy to be on a hunt on a beautiful day…and doesn’t have a clue. Then I wonder, “Is that me? I think I’m on the right path, but have I missed a very important point? Am I missing something? What am I missing? What am I supposed to be following? Who am I supposed to be following? If the person whom I am to be following isn’t moving, then what am I doing?”

This is truly where I am right now, or should I say, this is where I am trying to avoid being right now. You see, I lead the women’s ministry in my church. Back at the end of July, we submitted our ideas and what God had put on our hearts to our leadership, our pastor, and we still haven’t heard a thing. It’s confusing and frustrating on this end, but I also know that the hand of God is on my pastor. I know that God has put my pastor as my leader, and that I am to serve under his direction and guidance. To act without his approval, to move ahead without his permission is much like this dog ahead of the fox…dangerous. If women’s ministry is to succeed, we have to submit to the leadership God gives us. In order to have God’s protection, we must stay under the umbrella of protection afforded by our leadership.

I know there are many women who are chomping at the bits to get moving. You are excited and anxious to start serving. In the past year and a half, the women’s ministry has developed into a serving and active ministry. Whatever we do, there is some aspect of mission. Whatever we do, we try to incorporate multiple generations because we believe in the mentoring laid out in the Bible. We’ve been encouraging women to be the church outside the walls of the church for several seasons now, and quite a few have begun volunteering at Crisis Pregnancy Center. A group of women volunteered at the Heart of Hope Maternity Home. We also had women open up their homes in neighborhoods to host “Sweet Stars.” At one house, we had ½ of the participants as members and the other ½ were guests. That’s what it is all about, and I know that is why the women of Calvary are excited to get going. You are ready to reach out and make a difference. I am too…trust me. But even more important than those things which were great and effective, I want the women of Calvary to be a part of the excitement that is going on NOW. Calvary is alive. The Holy Spirit is moving. So we will wait. The Bible says that “those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength”(Is 40:31). And ladies, we may be waiting because our strength, God’s strength may be required for the next step.

I will not lead a group of women ahead of our pastor or against our pastor. I will not be like that beagle…it’s too easy to get bit in the rear that way. Getting ahead of leadership guarantees that our focus is not on God, it’s on self and what we plan will fail. Bible says it. There’s a story in Acts 5, and this verse has hit me between the eyes – “…for if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You might even be found opposing God!” Acts 5:38-39. I do not want to be found opposing God. Do you?

So, please do not get frustrated or discouraged. Pray for our pastor. Pray for the leadership in our church. Pray that God continues to rain down and pour out His blessings on this church, so we can pour it out on this community and city.

Love y’all bunches. You are a blessing.

A Ring and an Honor

2011-09-27T17:22:00.000-05:00

I met my husband in June of 1990, on a blind date. Something I swore I would never do, and something he had sworn off as well. As you see, we both made an exception that would forever change our future. It was in June of 1990 that I met his mother, Gynelle. She was in my life for over half my life when she passed away from liver failure on August 29, 2011. Gynelle left her solitaire to Patrick, and he honored me by giving it to me. I had the diamond band that was attached to my original wedding ring taken off and soldered onto Gynelle’s solitaire…something of mine, something of her’s. It is breath-taking. It’s something that we would never have been able to afford, and it is something that I will always treasure because of the woman who wore it and the man who gave it to me. Thank you, Patrick.

Theme is Chosen, Invitations are Sent

2011-09-21T20:17:00.002-05:00

Have you ever been responsible for planning a large event? Maybe a wedding? A reception? A business function that brought in board members or managers?
If you have, you've probably heard the saying, "Whatever can go wrong, probably will." There are just so many details to work out. Invitations. Who is invited? Who isn't invited? How many are expected? Then how will each guest be recognized or made to feel recognized and special. Will there be registration of some sort? If guests are traveling, are hotel arrangements made and how will those be paid? How will guest get from the airport to the hotel or event location? That doesn't even begin to scratch the surface because we haven't even started talking about food for breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks. We haven't considered entertainment either. Will you need microphones, lighting, and projection equipment for power point presentation? So, will you? Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. And if this doesn't go well, people will be talking about you till the cows come home!

It can be downright overwhelming and cumbersome. This is why it isn't usually just one person planning the larger events…it's a team!
I bet you are wondering where in the world I'm going with this, aren't you? Actually, I'm not going just anywhere in the world with this.

I am back in seminary, and while I wasn't really looking forward to this particular online class, it really has me thinking. You see, I thought I knew everything I needed to know about being a Baptist because I am a multi-generational-Southern Baptist. But I've actually learned things critical to my faith, and I've learned things that have made me ponder. Pondering is what I do best – Winnie the Pooh and I are alike in that way.Currently, in my class, we are studying the Kingdom of God and Last Things (what is going to happen in the end). And this is where I started pondering about the planning of large events.

Think about it…when Christ returns He is going to be taking a BOAT LOAD of bodies up to heaven. In human terms let's work through this, shall we? And since it's my blog, I AM. The souls have been in heaven, but when Christ returns, the dead will rise and then those of us who remain will be caught up in sky. So in essence, you have souls being matched with bodies from since THE BEGINNING OF TIME, and on top of that, you have an influx of new people. What would that look like here on earth? Social security has a hard time keeping people matched with their social security numbers at times. Can you imagine them trying to match the right body with the right soul? If your last name starts with an "A," please stand in this line and fill out this paperwork. Based on the information you provide, we will try to find your soul. SAY WHAT? Then there is the influx of newbies…have you ever been around a bunch of greenhorns? They are full of questions. They don't stay in line. Some wander off wanting to see the streets of gold and to find the Great Throne. Um, ma'am, you haven't been processed. You have to be processed to make sure that your room is ready. Please fill out this form and take a number. We'll get to you as soon as possible. WOULDN'T THIS BE A NIGHTMARE!? I know you are probably wondering, "Why am I reading this?" But hang on. I do have a point….
But it won't be like this AT ALL. You see, God is preparing to have a party of one with you. Jesus went to prepare a place (it says so in Matthew). The preparations for THE BIG DAY are being worked on and made ready even as you read this goofy blog. Next, God's got this. There won't be any lines. There isn't any stress. For where God is there is peace and rest and joy. This will be a time of great rejoicing. Souls won't be mismatched to the wrong bodies. The newbies will have nothing to fear. There is going to be some awesome singing and worshipping and praising God…lifting up holy hands, falling down on our faces before an Almighty God. You will want for nothing. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT DAY! (No more tears in heaven. Seeing loved ones who have gone on before me. Meeting people I had only read about. AMAZING!)

On the flip side of this, however, is a very real place called "hell" – eternal separation from God. A place where this skin burns but isn't consumed. Wailing and gnashing of teeth. The smell of Sulfur (like rotten eggs) and of burning flesh. No rest. Extreme pain 24/7. I cannot begin to fathom the suffering that goes on there now and will continue to go on forever. I don't want to process that. I try to put it out of my mind, but maybe if I kept it more in the forefront of my mind, I'd do more about it. I want my goal to be, "When the rapture happens, I want there to be a large group of newbies entering heaven than hell." What are you doing about it? Who will you invite to go with you to heaven, to meet your Savior?

Knows Why Some Animals Eat Their Young

2011-09-18T19:20:00.000-05:00

He raises his voice. She whines and whimpers. “You’re so mean.” One stomps off in a huff. The other refuses to do as he/she is told. “I wish I didn’t have a brother.” He whines. She raises her voice and pops her brother (which is probably over-due). He breaks down in tears, and she blows hot air like a bull at a matador. Homework was a struggle, and the ride home was tense. One had a rough day at school, and the other is rubbing it in. This is at the end of the day, and I’m at the end of my rope.

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY SOME ANIMALS EAT THEIR YOUNG!

Now, you know I love my kids. They crack me up. I find humor in much of what they do, but there are days that sometime string into weeks that they just bring me to swing at the end of the proverbial rope. There is just so much a mom or a person can handle before the last nerve that the kids jump on snaps in half or multiple pieces, and the exorcist takes control of my head causing it to spin like a top. Can I get a witness?

Let me encourage you, Sweet Parent. Breathe deeply. You are not alone. You can do this without doing irrepairable harm to your precious children. This is what I learned as a child when my mom had reached her maximum capacity of child-caused stress.

When I was growing up, Lori and I knew when we had pushed our mom over the line…she’d use the “c” word… “c-rap.” That was the sign that the end was near. The rapture was about to take place…not the churches rapture, but mine and Lori’s. We were about to meet our maker…normally that meant our daddy. We’d meet our Creator another day. On those days as a child, I learned A LOT about prayer. I remember laying in my bed praying, “God, please let her forget!” or “God, please let daddy work late.” Some were answered. Some were not.

The waiting was so stressful. The not-knowing of what the future held for my fate was intense. It was during these waiting times that I learned just how much stress I had caused because I was now feeling it as I waited…in the quiet. That was the worst. Waiting in the quiet. Not hearing a sound. What in the world could she possibly be doing in the other room!?

On the rare times that my mom did not mention it to my dad or the matter was dropped, I learned what grace was. I learned what it meant to be pardoned. Did I deserve to get disciplined and even punished? Hehehe, I’ll let you wonder. But when grace was exercised, it washed over me relieving me of my anxiety and bringing me to repentance.

When discipline or punishment came, we were allowed to soak in it for a while, but then the time came that my daddy or my mom would come to us, bring us in their arms, and tell us that they loved us but not the behavior we had shown. What did that teach me? That someone can love me but not my behavior and that my parents expected the best out of me.

SOOOOOO, my friend, if you are struggling in the parenting gig, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT IF YOU LOOSE YOUR MIND ON OCCASION. IT’S CALLED BEING HUMAN.

One more thing, I’m not perfect in parenting. It will be interesting to hear my kids spin on things when they get older. Be careful when you criticize another parent. You don’t know where they’ve been or what they’re going through. Instead, why don’t you pray for them, pray over them…and if necessary, provide your sister a little relief. Trade out. Give her a break…some time to herself. Hang in there my fellow mommies. Hang in there.

Wonders How Can You Make a Water Buffalo Cute?

2011-09-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

There’s just no way to make a water buffalo cute. It’s big. It’s hairy. It slobbers, for crying out loud, and yet this is the mammal my daughter chose to write her report on for fifth grade science class. Of all the mammals in the world, Erin chooses the WATER BUFFALO! I suggested a pot bellied pig. We could put little nose prints on the poster and curly, little tails popping off the poster board for the 3-D effect. But no, Erin had to choose a WATER BUFFALO! And do you know why she chose a water buffalo? Because Veggie Tales has “Silly Songs with Larry,” and he sings a song called “Everyone’s Got a Water Buffalo.” On any given day she will be singing that crazy song as she meanders through life.

So, how in the world do we make this project look cute? Seriously! Any ideas would greatly be appreciated! There are limited pictures on the internet, so this could be a real challenge. There isn't even a picture of a water buffalo in the Veggie Tales song, but did she think about that? PLEASE!

How does one make something that is unattractive into something beautiful? The quote, “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear,” comes to mind. How do you take something that is a big, nasty mess and make it into a tasteful report? I don’t know why this is so difficult. I should be a pro at this because I’ve gotten so used to making my life that can be so unattractive or a big, nasty mess into what appears to be something tasteful. Words I’ve said. Attitudes I’ve held. Lack of faith, doubt, impatience, tolerance and intolerance, and just blatant sin in my life I try to dress up, cover up and march into the presence of God as if I’m just as precious as can be. A sow’s ear will always be a sow’s ear. A water buffalo will always be a water buffalo even if you put a tutu on it. No matter how we dress up our lives, no matter what we present to the world, God sees beyond it to the heart of the matter…to the water buffalo underneath. The thing about God is He created the water buffalo. He designed and created it with specific intentions. It’s when we take the water buffalo out of its natural habitat and try to make it into something God did not create it to be does it (the water buffalo) look ridiculous. Sometimes we just need to accept ourselves as the person God created us to be, confess our sins, stop putting on airs, get real with God, lay prostrate before our Creator and ask Him to purify us, to heal us.

I remember Isaiah 6. Isaiah had been in the presence of God Almighty. Hearing the seraphim crying and calling, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” Isaiah had been in the presence of God Almighty, and in His presence Isaiah realized that none of his acts, none of his service did God any favors. He realized just how unclean he was. He discarded all pretense, all pride and got real with God, “WOE TO ME!” When was the last time you got real with God? When was the last time you were honestly in His presence worshipping Him and realized just how unclean and unworthy you are? Isaiah was cleansed, and God sent him out. Let God cleanse you, restore you, make you into the creature He intended you to be. Lay down your tutus, your cuteness, you high dollar clothes, your status, and be who He wants you to be. There’s no other life like it…the one of a redeemed child of God serving and living as the creature He has designed you to be. There’s freedom in it. There’s peace, and there’s joy.

Has Been Underestimated by a Boy's Club...hahaha

2011-09-09T20:47:00.001-05:00

I was in the fourth grade when I got into my first fist fight with a boy…at least I think it was fourth grade. Yes, my first fistfight. But after my first fight with a boy, my daddy taught me how to fight, and it made all the difference in the world. Some pointers daddy gave me AFTER my first fistfight were the following:

· Since I was always on the small size, daddy always said if I was going to throw the first punch it needs to be a surprise AND it needs to connect (He said there would be times that a fight might be inevitable, and if that were the case, it would be in my best interest to ring his bell first. I knew better than to fight another girl. They don’t fight fair.)

· He told me when I wadded my hand up into a fist to make sure my thumb was on the outside. Otherwise, my thumb would get broken

· Daddy recommended the first punch be an upper cut (This tactic was proven very effective my senior year in high school when I decked a linebacker…just sayin’)

· He also told me about using my knee and how to pop someone’s eyes out (I know it’s gross, but if you are a woman and you don’t know how to defend yourself, you need to get educated)

· AND if I am ever attacked by a man, pee on him

These were the rules of engagement I was given by my daddy in regards to defending myself. Those of you raising girls may not agree with his method, but after I walked away with a fat lip and the other boy a bloody nose, he thought it best to teach me some self-defense. Even if I had not gotten into a fistfight with that first little boy, it is wise for girls to be taught some basic defense skills.

From very early on, I’ve been trying to break into a boy’s club in some way or another. I honestly don’t know why that is. I guess because in my mind’s eye when I bow up, I’m the Rock instead of the Chihuaha that I am. It is no surprise that when I started in fraud investigation that I was really only the second “generation” of women in my field. When I would go into body shops or salvage yards and the men would call me “honey” or “sugar,” it used to make me madder than a wet hornet…until. Yes, there was a day when my boss who was the first generation of female fraud investigators told me to consider it part of the game. Utilize whatever I had to my benefit. So, yes, there would be times when I would visit a body shop/chop shop or salvage yard that I would wear a dress that accentuated my legs or physique. It was a distraction for them. They would start speaking in a condescending manner to me and start “explaining things” to me like I was stupid. Was I? No. And before I would leave a shop or at the end of an investigation, I would let them know just how badly they underestimated me. HEHEHE. I know that’s probably wrong, but I have to admit I did get great pleasure in it. I used to love the look on their faces when they realized they sunk their own boat. My friend Cynthia says I’m yen and yang – fraud on one side of me and then women’s ministry on the other.

As I’ve been thinking about the old boys’ clubs recently for various reasons, I realized that underestimating your opponent can be a serious weakness. I know I’ve underestimated people before and have been caught off guard. Haven’t you?

As Christians, we have a very REAL opponent. His name is Lucifer, Satan, the devil. 1 Peter 5:8 says we need to be sober, vigilant because Satan is our adversary and is like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Never underestimate your opponent. He knows where you are weak. He knows how to push your buttons. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. These actions killing, stealing and destroying (John 10:10) requires skill, knowledge and capability. He comes to kill your dreams, steal your joy, and destroy your life. He doesn’t go into take you down without a plan of some sort. When he tempted Jesus, there was a plan. There was a method. Satan can be very patient when it is required in taking you down. He will attack whatever you consider to be a “small” weakness, but he can take that small weakness and feed it. Whatever you feed grows. If you feed your fleshly side, your spiritual side withers. If you feed your spiritual side, your fleshly side deteriorates. Satan will provide you with multiple opportunities to FEED that weakness, that fleshly side of yourself. Will you fall for it by thinking “I’ve got it under control?” Addicts of any sort will tell you they didn’t mean to become an addict. That was not their goal or intention. Bitter people didn’t start out wanting to become bitter, but they fed their anger and resentment. People who are morbidly obese didn’t start out with the intention of trying to kill themselves with food. Lonely people didn’t aim to be without friends and family, but they failed to control their mouths or their own, selfish desires thereby alienating those around them. Something so small. Something that appears to be harmless. Someone who appears one way but really isn’t.

Never underestimate you opponent. Don’t think for one minute that you got this one. A game changer can happen at any moment, or it can happen gradually so you don’t even recognize it.

Casting Crowns has a song called “Slow Fade.” The words to it are below. Please take time to read it.

Be careful little eyes what you see

It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go

For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear

When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you're thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking

People never crumble in a day

Daddies never crumble in a day

Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

For the Father up above is looking down in love

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Guard yourselves, sweet friends. Never underestimate the enemy.

Good Grief -- A Granddaughter Remembers (Erin's Entry)

2011-08-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

My G has short, curly, and gray hair. She is a little short, and she could be stern sometimes.

I would go to her house for one week during the summer. Sometimes I went during Spring Break and Thanksgiving. G lives in a big house, and she has an upstairs. Her guest rooms are really pretty, and most of the time pretty clean. She has two cats – Peaches and Panther. She has a dog named Dottie who is a Dalmatian. Poppa Bob is her husband. He drives busses for kids. He has a key to the family life center and that’s where they get their ice and that’s where Poppa Bob takes us to play in the gym and upstairs.

When we see G, she takes us to the Dollar Store, and we get toys. Then, she takes us to the park. They have this bridge, and it looks like drums. It’s kind of scary to go over it. The first time I tried it G held my hand and walked beside me. They also have a big, giant slide and that’s really fun. Pearce, G and I had a picnic at the park. She also helped me to go down the big pole that is there.

At night, she reads us stories and does puzzles with us. During the day we play with a miniature, iron stove. She lets us borrow some dry noodles and dry beans, so we could pretend like we were cooking. She also had plates we used. She came outside and played with us when it wasn’t too hot. Madeline Mullins (my cousin) and I had a tea party outside with G, and we got to drink real tea. Madeline and Walker Mullins, Pearce and Me and G had a parade with the flutes that G gave us. She would sometimes do bubbles with us, and she’ll toss the football back and forth with us.

We went to the beach one time during the summer. We were making a sand castle, and then a van pulled up, and it could probably only hold six people. But all these people started coming out of there…like 20.

At Thanksgiving, G would always burn the bread, and she made cranberry sauce. We had our Christmas presents at Thanksgiving with G because we wouldn’t be back for Christmas. Every Thanksgiving, we had hayrides, and one time I was on a hayride with my daddy and all the sudden the end of the tractor fell. The hay fell on us. We also had bonfires where we would make s’mores, and mommy almost burned hers. My mom makes the best s’mores.

The last time G came to Shreveport, she came to hear me sing. After the concert was done, we went to Shane’s, and we ate at midnight. When we came back home, I was tuckered out, and I was done partying with the cows.

If you don’t know my G, she loves to cook and garden. She is very kind and thoughtful. She likes to sew. She made me dresses that I still have.

Please pray for her. She’s sick.

I’ll miss her taking us to the park, riding the four wheelers, and doing bonfires.

Is Learning and then Teaching on Prayer

2011-08-28T17:07:00.002-05:00

Bear with me as I borrow a little from my post on the women's ministry blog from yesterday. I asked 3 things:

"What if you woke this morning with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" Christine Williams
When I think of prayer I think of…
When I think of my prayer life I feel…

I have been asked how do I come up with my lessons, and I simply say, "It's what God has taught me." Typically before I teach a lesson I have to learn it first…not always pleasant, but lately, I have found myself praying in all kinds of manners. There is no one right way to talk to God. The kind of prayer I taught on today was the kind of prayer that is intimate and brings you into the presence of God Almighty.

Did you realize that praise and worship should start our prayers? My husband says he doesn't sing, but he does in the shower once in a blue moon. Praise and worship, however, doesn't have to be music. Praise and worship during our prayers focuses our attention on God. It is so easy to get distracted when praying…can't we? It's like that dog on the movie "Up" ---The dog will be in the middle of talking and then he says "Squirrel?" And then has to start over in the conversation. Sometimes our prayers are like that, but praise and worship helps us to direct our attention on God. So, how do we praise and worship…Tell God what names you love to call Him – Redeemer, Savior, Lover of my Soul, my Deliverer (Those are my favorites). Next tell Him what how you feel about Him and His unending, unchanging love for you. This is praise and worship.

Something amazing happens when we start with praise and worship. We enter God's presence, recognize His holiness, and we realize just how unclean we are. Then we enter that time of confession. This time of confession for the believer isn't for salvation, it's for restoration. It restores our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Isaiah was in the presence of God Almighty when he realized just what a mess he was in Isaiah 6:5. In today's terms and my version of things, "God, I've been talking some smack. I've gossiped. I've told lies. My lips are UNCLEAN." Unclean. Unclean. Asking for forgiveness restores our relationship with God, and we can stand before Him clean, righteous and holy. Think you haven't sinned? I dare you to ask God about that!

Next comes our petitions. Praying for the things and the people who are burdening our hearts. We had some good conversation about this today. I wish you could have been there. Women often have a hard time praying for their own needs because they feel selfish, but the Bible says, you have not because you ask not (James 4:2-3). When we are praying for the things the Spirit has placed on our hearts, we are communicating back to the Heavenly Father the desires He has placed on our hearts. Did you catch that? That's why He can give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4).

Now what if God answers your prayer with a "no?" Does your faith grow or do you waver? One of the ladies in my class, Criss Marley, shared this story with our class. For months now she has been praying in earnest for rain. It wasn't for her own selfish benefit. She knows the farmers need it too, but she has difficulty watering her lawn. She said it has rained several times around her home. She said it would rain a block away but not once at her own home. This past week she had a handy man come and paint her trim work. He called Criss outside and showed her a hole in her roof. He repaired the hole for her, and within 2 days it was raining at Criss's house. Did God want to bless Criss's home with rain? ABSOLUTELY. But did He see the big picture? Did He see that she couldn't afford for it to rain inside her house or the repairs to the interior? Why, yes, he did. Did He arrange for her to get notice about her roof? Without a doubt. Did He then give her the desire of her heart? Yes…He…Did. Can I just say that I love the women in my small group that meets on Sunday morning? They are the best. They are authentic. They are transparent. They are unique. I love their willingness to share their hearts and expose their weaknesses giving the others an opportunity to encourage her. It is truly an awesome thing.

They have their "faith work" (instead of homework). They each selected a prayer to read and study this week, and when we meet again we will share what we've learned. I encourage you if you are not part of a small group, find one. Get connected. Dig deep and grow. There is nothing like it.

GOOD GRIEF – A Daughter-In-Law Remembers

2011-08-25T19:04:00.002-05:00

I realize that not everyone who reads my blog will know my G, so earlier in the week I wrote this about her, so you could understand a little of whom she is and who we will be missing. It's a good thing I wrote it earlier in the week because I think I'm hitting another stage of grief – depression. It's not bad. I don't need pep talks. I'm just in a funk, and it's totally okay to be in a funk. I think too often we try to make someone else feel better or rush to fix their pain or problem when the best healing comes from their working it out with their Savior. Don't get me wrong, there are times when people need encouragement and need medication and need counseling. I'm just not there. SOOOOO, please enjoy what I wrote earlier in the week, as I allow God to work on my FUNK.

Proverbs 31:13 "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands."
If you ever stepped foot into Gynelle's home, you would know she was not an idle woman. She designed her home by measuring the furniture and building the room around the furniture.
Proverbs 31:22 "She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."

She sewed the drapes, comforters, pillows and bed skirts to compliment the wall color. Her grandchildren had handmade clothes by Gynelle, and when they were babies, she smocked their baby clothes.
Proverbs 31:17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks,"Her flowers bloomed year around because she planned it that way. She would study the different kinds of blooming flowers and would map out her flowerbeds according to the heights of the flowers. Her back deck had potted plants that would attract butterflies and hummingbirds because that's what brought her joy and peace.

Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls."Gynelle would fix Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners to feed a group of family. She would decorate the dining room so it was a feast for the eyes. The food she prepared was just as pleasing making sure she had something special in mind for each guest. She knew what her guests' favorite foods were. And while this was delectable, it never failed, Gynelle would burn the bread. We would laugh at this every time. We called it "blackened bread."

This reminds me of the first Thanksgiving meal that I experienced in the Mullins' household. Patrick and I had started dating seriously in September, and Gynelle had invited me for Thanksgiving dinner. That day, Patrick called saying he was running late and asked if I would just meet him at the house. I agreed. When I arrived, I asked to help, but I was sent into the den and was told to not go into the dining room until dinner was served. (I think she wanted to see everyone's expression at the same time.) So, I was sitting in the den watching television when Patrick arrived from deer hunting. He had killed 2 that day. He stuck his head in the back door and asked me to come outside and help him. (Mind you, I am dressed nicely for a dinner with his parents!) I explained that under no circumstances would I help clean the deer. I told him he could kill them, clean them and cook them. I may or may not eat them. Gynelle had finished the preparations and went outside and began gutting that deer. (My thought – she's more of a woman than I am!) Afterwards she took a shower, and it was time to eat. We entered the dining room. The candlelight played off the crystal, and the tablescape she created was amazing. I have never been a part of anything quite like that.Proverbs 31:30-31 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring praise at the city gate."
Gynelle was not perfect. She was a flawed human being just like the rest of us, but I know without a doubt that she loved. She loved her kids and her grandkids. I will be posting the memories that my kids have of their G. (Maybe Erin will be a guest writer on my blog again.)

Learned a Lesson about Fear from Pearce

2011-08-24T20:36:00.000-05:00

It is the second week of Pearce’s first grade. His teacher is Mrs. Gretchen Lary who has known Pearce all his life because Pearce at one time was the object of Anna Kate Lary’s affection…much to Gretchen’s chagrin. Anna Kate was too young to have a boyfriend. She was 3 at the time. But I have to say, Pearce is a charmer. He knows how to open doors and pull out the chairs for the girls. At any rate, I am so thankful that we are able to provide a Christian education for our children. Each teacher has such an impact for the kingdom of God on each student present.

Today at school it rained. Why is this significant? Because it has been one of the hottest summers on record, and one of the driest. We are in a drought. And today’s rain was no ordinary rain. God was showing His muscle and flexing His might. There was lightning and thunder, downpours of rain and a rumor of a tornado. My son has very few fears. His biggest fear is lightning and thunder. He can move at the speed of lightning to make it into my bed if there is a storm while we are at home. So today, when the storm came, my heart sunk, and I thought about my son and his fear. We’ve talked many times about casting that fear in the lap of God and about praying till the fear goes away. Still, I wasn’t there with him.

All of the students were moved into the hall because of the tornado watch that was issued, and when I asked Pearce how he did with it all, he said, “Momma, I just had to put that fear behind me.” I know Gretchen had to have said this, but when Pearce spoke it, he spoke it with such confidence. “I just had to put that fear behind me.” (Thank you, Gretchen! Love ya, girl!) And just as a side note, if you aren’t praying for your children’s teachers, you need to do so. If you aren’t praying that God will put godly men and women and friends into the lives of your children, start today. It is a life changer.

Shortly after school let out, my sister took Pearce to my mom’s house because I had taken Erin to a doctor’s appointment. If I were to ever believe in reincarnation and had to come back as an animal, I would want to come back as my daddy’s dog. Daisy is a terrier who has her owner trained. Due to the 100+ degree temperatures we’ve had in July and August, daddy has allowed the kitchen door to stay open into the mud room to help Daisy stay cool. Like Pearce, Daisy has a fear of storms too, so much so that she will break the rule and run into the kitchen at the first collapse of thunder. If the kitchen door is open, Daisy will make a break for the den if she can make it. So, as Pearce and Honey (my mom) were leaving the kitchen, there was a little, shaking dog who was scared of the thunder going on outside. It was then that Pearce turned around and said, “The Lord be with you.” I promise you I think there is an old man inside that short person I call my son.

When I was young I had few fears. I don’t know if it was lack of intelligence, lack of sense, or a feeling of being invincible, but I just didn’t have many fears. You’ve heard of fight versus flight? I always chose to fight regardless of the size of my opponent. But now as I’ve gotten older, I see that fears have penetrated my heart and my mind. Maybe it’s because I have more to lose. Maybe I’ve gotten a little smarter. Whatever the reason, life preservation is in over-drive.

If you are struggling with fear, I encourage you to cast it into the lap of our loving Savior because He cares for you. I encourage you to pray about everything instead of worrying, and as Pearce learned today, put your fear behind you. If your fear is behind you, then there is nothing blocking your view of your Savior.

Good Grief – I Hit a Couple of Stages This Weekend Alone (I’m an over-achiever – ha!)

2011-08-22T12:51:00.002-05:00

      God's timing is perfect. At the beginning of August, I took 2 seminary classes – lay counseling and support groups. Both in some way or the other covered grief. My project for the support group class is to write a paper on establishing a grief support group. This was chosen before we knew the full extent of Gynelle's (Patrick's mom) condition and how it would play out.
    There are different stages of grief. (Although I find the word "stages" to be a bit of a misnomer in my simple thinking.) In the stages of grief, there is no particular order. You don't have to complete 1 stage to get to the next. Just because you deal with 1 stage of grief doesn't mean you won't revisit it either. I think it should be called "Status of Grief." What is your status? I'm angry. I'm in denial. I'm trying to bargain. I'm in acceptance. I'm depressed. Whatever your status is in grief.

This weekend I covered two – anger and denial. I'm an over-achiever.
     I think the denial gave way after being in Gynelle's house overnight and the next day. It was weird to be in her home without her. Gynelle was always present, always active, always engaging. She would take the grandkids for rides on the four wheeler, go to the park, take them to the Dollar General for a toy, or go to the family life center to play. She was cooking with them, playing with them, talking to them, or swinging with them. It was just an odd feeling being in her home without her energy, without her presence. I guess that's when it hit me that we would never have that again. It made me sad.     Then I went into the status of angry when a certain family member tried to claim things in the house as their own. It was all I could do to bite my tongue and keep my hands to myself. I think I have hole in my tongue big enough for a piercing! This person graded on my last nerve. The voice caused every muscle in my body to tense. Had it been my momma's house, I would have grabbed this person by the collar and the waist-band and shown them the door. But it wasn't my momma's house, and I don't want to cause any more stress for my husband than he already has, since he is the only one handling it along with Bob (her husband). If I think too long or too hard about some of the c-rap that has gone on by some of the parties involved, my blood boils. In case you can't tell, I'm refraining and containing myself A LOT right now!

     My ultimate goal in this grieving process is to support my husband, work through my own grief, but to also help my children to understand what is going on and how to grieve their own ways. I covet your prayers in this regard.     I'm sure I'll visit the anger status again before it's all said and done. I briefly visited it on the front end of this journey, but quickly, realized I was angry for selfish reasons.
     The Bible says that in our anger we are not to sin. God gave us a full range of emotions to use. Anger is one of them. How do we handle our anger and not sin? I don't know. The fact that I refrained from snatching that person bald was that refraining from sin or was the thought of it alone a sin? I'm learning as I go.

Heard Pearce Say, “You’re Disqualified!”

2011-08-20T21:22:00.001-05:00

My children have been traveling since they were very young. When Erin was born, we lived in Texas, and we would return to Shreveport, Louisiana, several times before moving back when she was ten months old. She would also travel to see her G who lived in Mississippi and stay with her. Erin started staying with G for a week at a time when she was a little over one year old.

Pearce hasn't traveled as much, but now that he is older we will take road trips to different places. One of the games we play on the road is the "Alphabet Thankful Game." "I am thankful for A – apples." The next person repeats it and adds the word for "b." The next would copy all of them and add the "c" word. On this particular trip, Pearce asked that we not have to repeat the prior letters to which we all agreed. There are certain letters the kids have asked for throughout our trips. This trip Erin REALLY wanted the letter "t." The first go around I got the letter "t," and I was thankful for the trees. There was still time for another round of the game, and to Erin's great pleasure she received the letter "t." With her low raspy voice, Erin said, "I'm thankful for TOE JAM!" Pearce whips around and says, "That's disgusting, Erin. You're disqualified!"

The only rule to the alphabet game is that we go in the same order and go alphabetically. I'm not really sure that the grounds were for Erin's disqualification. Apparently, the grounds are arbitrary and may change depending on the mood of Pearce. I am SOOOOO thankful that our God doesn't change the rules. It doesn't matter if we gross God out. It doesn't matter what we've done. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow (Heb 13:8).

Good Grief – Is that an Oxymoron?

2011-08-19T08:17:00.001-05:00

"Good grief," is a phrase that was used all the time on Charlie Brown. Good Grief also sounds like it should be the title of a book on mourning, and it may be I just haven't googled it yet. But is Good Grief an oxymoron? (Look the word up. My momma says it will help you to remember the definition.)

People grieve over many things – the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a marriage, the loss of something substantial like a home or vehicle, the death of a pet, the loss of status. Some say that children who are adopted grieve for their birth parents. We can grieve over any given thing when the loss is great enough. There is no escaping grief either. You may try to avoid it. You may try to skip it by filling up the void, stuffing the emotions and feelings inside, or even taking on an unhealthy dependency or habit, BUT YOU CANNOT AVOID IT. It will come out one way or another. What I've discovered is that grieving doesn't end at the funeral service. It doesn't end at the end of the first or the second year. Grieving is also not a checklist either. "Okay, I've done this phase of grieving, and now I'm into this phase." There is no order to grieving either. Everyone grieves differently. That's why when someone is grieving some of the best therapy is to just listen and to be physically present.

Sometimes we grieve. We work through it, but years down the road, we get hit blindsided by it. The last month my husband and I went through fertility treatments there were 3 eggs. For a week and a half I had all of the signs of being VERY pregnant – sensitivity, nausea, severe fatigue, etc. It was the only time during the time of our fertility treatments I ever felt that way. After a week and a half though, there was nothing, and I knew I was no longer pregnant. Did I grieve for those 3 babies? You bet. Anyone who has miscarried regardless of how long they have carried will and can grieve for those babies. From time to time I think about how old they would be and what they look like in heaven. Now you need to understand I had known since I was a senior in high school that I would adopt in order to be a mom. I cannot imagine my life without my kids. The point is that you deal with your grief, you work through it, but it still may come back to you from time to time. You aren't crazy!

There is such a thing as Good Grief. Good Grief is grief that you work through, that you get help with when you get stuck, and that you address from time to time after the initial grieving period.

You may think this is an odd blog, but really it isn't. I blog about what is going on in my life and what I'm learning. I took a class on lay counseling and a class on support groups in August in seminary. My project for support groups is on a grief support group. Little did I know that God was trying to prepare me for the journey ahead.

My mother-in-law whom I have known since June of 1990 has chosen not to fight to live. She has chosen to die. She had an emergency gall bladder surgery towards the end of April, and she went septic as a result. Her liver has never regained functionality. She doesn't want to go on the transplant list, and she is ready to go home to see her sweet Savior. Now, not only will I be going through the grieving process, but I will be leading my children through it. My daughter is a deep well of emotions. Pearce is a bit young to understand it all, but we'll see how he grieves. I've received some wonderful ideas from friends about how to help my children grieve.

So, periodically, I'm going to blog on Good Grief. It will be part of my grieving process, but if it helps someone else to walk through grieving and not stuff it down then it is worth it. I assure you it won't all be gloom and doom either. For Christians we have a hope of seeing our loved one again in heaven, and that is always something for which to be thankful!

Pre-First Grade Jitters and a Lesson on Faith

2011-08-09T21:37:00.001-05:00

Last night, Pearce was restless. He could not get settled to save his life. Finally, I went to lay down with him in his bed, and as we snuggled up, I asked him, "Pearce, what's on your mind?" He paused for a moment, and then he said, "Mom, I'm a little concerned about going into first grade. I really don't know what to expect." I told him it was similar to kindergarten but without the nap. We knew who his teacher was, and he has known her since as far back as he can remember. He was concerned about his friends from last year. What class did Eli go into? What about Mason? I assured him he would know some of the kids in his class and would quickly make friends with the new ones.

I reflected on that conversation as I was beginning to prepare to my small group on Sunday. We are going to be talking about faith. They are responsible for finding Scriptures on faith and examples, but the bottom line is this – I can tell them what faith is, but I can't do it for them. I could tell Pearce what first grade is going to be like, but I can't be there every day walking him step-by-step through the curriculum. He has to do it himself. Faith is just like that. I might be able to tell you what faith is (but I may not be able to do it well), but I can't grow your faith for you. Faith is active. It is not stagnant. It requires you to work it out in order to strengthen it. You have to do the work. No one else can do it for you.

I can't wait to get deeper into God's Word and to teach about faith, but the bottom line is that each person will have to work out their own faith. God will have to work with each individual person to work it out. You want faith? Are you serious? Be sure because God is faithful He will teach you and develop your faith because that is just the kind of God He is.

Has Much To Be Thankful for Regarding My Job

2011-08-06T13:38:00.001-05:00

Just like there is no perfect human living on Earth. There is no perfect business because imperfect people run them. There also isn't a perfect church, but that's a different story for a different blog. Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "in everything give thanks."

So I want to be thankful and obedient. My daddy is a State Farm agent. Through his salary I've been able to go on mission trips, go to a private, Christian school, have a car, go to college and much more. I went to work for State Farm in August of 1993. Through the wages I've earned from State Farm, I was able to live on my own, have my own health coverage, get married, sustain a household, buy vehicles, go on trips and send my children to a private, Christian school. Plus, I have loved every job I have had with State Farm from working in my daddy's agency, to the year in the agency manager's office to claims and now insurance fraud. I can't imagine finding a job I enjoy more. Also my colleagues are some of the neatest, kindest people I've had the pleasure of knowing.

My husband also worked for State Farm for a good period of time until God allowed it to become so uncomfortable that Patrick wanted to move out of the Farm and start his own business. This was by God's design. If God hadn't made the situation at the Farm unbearable for Patrick he would have stayed and been miserable. By making it uncomfortable, Patrick was energized to start his businesses.

So, I have been blessed. If I have to move on to another company, I know that God will give me the job He wants me to have. I know that He will give me the job that He has prepared for me, that it will work well with my family life, and that it will be enough to support my family. God is good like that.

I will guess that in the next couple of months I should find out if I will be able to work from my home, or if I will be doing the full court press finding the job He has prepared for me. We covet your prayers during this time of uncertainty. Any time there is uncertainty there is an opportunity for growth in our faith. My prayer is for peace while I wait and for wisdom. God is good.

WHAT A WEEK! Info on my job

2011-08-05T20:34:00.000-05:00

So, let's recap this week, shall we? I'm at seminary for the week learning how to effectively do lay counseling and support groups. I find out on Thursday that the office that I work in is scheduled to close. When? I don't know. They don't know. They just said "soon," but if their "soon" is anything like "this is going to be a quick study and due at the end of the first quarter in 2011," but we don't get it until mid August...WHO KNOWS when it will all hit the fan. We will be given one of three options: relocate to Columbia, Missouri -- NOT! To Tulsa, OK -- NOT! OR telecommute from home. The latter option is the one I would choose, but I don't get to choose. When will they tell us if that is an option? WHO KNOWS!? They surely do not.

So, I guess my project that is due for the support group class could be for my colleagues in the Shreveport office, but I don't think I could adequately or effectively lay counsel them, since I am in the same boat with them. Lay counseling is a different animal altogether anyway. The way the lay counselor asks questions is VERY different than the way I ask questions on the job. Can you imagine if someone came into me for lay counseling and I still had my fraud investigator had on!? They would go out tramatized. I have a lot to work on when it comes to lay counseling.

Then I come home, and my air conditioning isn't working. It is a cool 89 degrees in my house with the thermostat set on 76. Good grief, Charlie Brown!

It would be easy to get discouraged right now. It would be easy to feel defeated right now. It would be easy to throw in the towel, take my toys and go (where? I don't know). But what I've come to understand about God and about my life is this...all this mess that is kickin' up in my life, ain't no surprise to Him. He knew this day was coming, and He has been ahead of me the whole time making the rough places smooth (Is 42:16). So, I will put one foot in front of the other. I will put a smile on my face and look to the Son expecting Him to lead me out of this mess, and I will believe that nothing He has planned for me is to my detriment but rather for my good (Jer 29:11). So, I will wait expectantly on Him to show me what to do, where to go, and what to say. He is for me. It's going to be an interesting ride. Can't wait to see what He does next.

The Boy's Handy Ability and Inability

2011-08-02T19:40:00.002-05:00

Lens for one. Light bulb for another. Batteries for yet another. Springs from another. NOT ONE WORKING FLASHLIGHT IN MY HOUSE. Do you know why? Because little boys like to take things apart to see how they work. The problem is they rarely know how to put them back together and don’t tell you when they have disassembled something of yours. So, when the lights go out in Shreveport, we are scrambling to find a light source. It has come to the point that I hide a flashlight in the dash of my truck that requires a tool to disassemble and doesn’t require batteries. Fix his little red wagon! And just for the record, it’s not just flashlights…any toy or tool that is left within his sight is fair game.

I asked Pearce one time if he takes them apart, why doesn’t he put them back together. His response, “I don’t know how.”

How often do we take apart or tear down what God has given us? Have you ever destroyed something or someone? And then when we get done tearing them done or tearing it apart, we look at God and say, “I don’t know how.”

I’d like to tell you that we are able to put all of our flashlights back together. I’m estimating Pearce has gotten his abled-hands on at least five flashlights over the years. By the time we realize he has had it, we only find parts, and we can’t put it back together again. There are consequences for our actions, but thankfully, we serve a God who is in the restoration business. He is in the redeeming business. He can restore relationships. He can redeem a life that has been torn down by his or her own hands. I was reminded of this truth today as I sat in class listening to a missionary tell a remarkable story of God’s ability to restore. Then she read Psalm 103. He can redeem our lives out of a pit and restore us with love and compassion and meet the desires of our hearts with good things. As far as the east is from the west is how far he removes our sin from us.

We serve an awesome God. When we think a situation or a person is hopeless, He is the hope. When we think a person is too far gone, God goes farther. His love is never-ending, and his love never changes no matter what I may or may not do. I am so thankful for the work of restoration he has done in my life. So for this reason and so many more, I will praise the Lord with all my soul.

Last Sunday

2011-08-01T10:00:00.001-05:00

A week ago today, I attended the Mejicanos Tabernaculo Biblico Bautista where they have 1000 people in the early service and another 1000 in the second service and only two people on staff. If you were to ask the pastor how does he handle all the issues that arise pasturing this size flock, he will tell you the only problem he has is people in his church not wanting to share their volunteer roles. Did you get that? There are people who stand outside the restroom doors to pass out toilet paper –they have to share that volunteer role. There are people who love on babies, kids and youth in both services, and they have enough servants to change out ever service and repeat only once every four to six weeks. There are ushers and greeters at every square section of seating in the sanctuary – volunteers stand at every corner until the preaching starts. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on Acts 11 says, “True Christians will feel for their brethren under afflictions. Thus will fruit be brought forth to the praise and glory of God. If all mankind were true Christians, how cheerfully would they help one another! The whole earth would be like one large family, every member of which would strive to be dutiful and kind.” WOW! If we all behaved like the children of God we were called and created to be…wonder what the church would be like…wonder what my city would look like…wonder what state our government would be in…I wonder.

It’s an amazing church…not just because of their understanding that Christians are to serve, but also for this story I’m about to write. MS 13 is a notorious gang in El Salvador. A gang member who crosses into the US, does a heinous crime, goes to federal prison and then is deported back to El Salvador is considered a god in this gang. One such member moved up in the ranks upon his return and ordered that the gang take two city busses and kill those on them. On one city bus they entered with their AKs and shot and killed 15 people. The other bus was sealed – all windows and doors – and then they set it on fire. The leader was caught and sent to jail. This happened in close proximity to the Mejicano church. The members had friends and family on those buses. (You can read more at http://www.zimbio.com/MS+13+(Mara+Salvatrucha)/articles/3JvVvR4uM9E/Street+Gangs+El+Salvador+Torch+Public+Bus and http://www.zimbio.com/MS+13+(Mara+Salvatrucha)/articles/hyppLw7jEVj/14+dead+after+El+Salvador+gangs+attack+buses)

Here’s the rest of the story. The parents of the leader of the MS 13 that called for those attacks went to the Mejicanos church after this happened. What would happen in your church if this happened here in the US? Being the good Christians we are, I doubt they would feel most welcomed in our churches. But in truth, this church became the hands and feet of Christ to this mother and father. They accepted them into their church and invited them to meet their Savior which they did. Turning the other cheek to the extreme!

Churches in America are filled with fat, lazy, baby Christians. We go to church daring anyone on stage to entertain us. Bless us if you can. Many “Christians” can’t or won’t do their own Bible studies and don’t even attempt it much less ask for help. They would rather be spoon-fed. The problem with being a spoon-fed Christian is that you don’t always know what’s being served for you to eat…Is it possum or crow? Or is it the Bread of Life?

I was convicted by what I saw in this New Testament church in El Salvador, by what I heard, and by what I saw. I repented. “While men are very zealous for their own regulations, they should take care that they do not withstand God; and those who love the Lord will glorify him, when made sure that he has given repentance to life to any fellow-sinners. Repentance is God's gift; not only his free grace accepts it, but his mighty grace works it in us, grace takes away the heart of stone, and gives us a heart of flesh. The sacrifice of God is a broken spirit” (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on Acts 11). I don’t want to stand in the way of God (Acts 11:17) or His working. I want to be all up in it whenever possible.

I wish I could have taken you with me on this mission trip. I went to love on kids, do block parties and door-to-door evangelism, but instead, I was blessed beyond measure. I was convicted, and I repented. I am thankful that God found me worthy to be a part of this experience. His grace is not without its effect on me.

A Ten Year Old's Adventure into Missions

2011-07-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

Today’s guest blog is written by my ten year-old daughter, Erin. This was her first mission trip, and she was the youngest one there. I had my concerns, but she did great, and I am so proud. Here are her thoughts and lessons she learned.

At the beginning of the trip, I was excited to see Hannah. We did block parties together. We did nails together. She also helped me pass out the bracelets I made to the kids there. She’s a really nice girl and a great friend.

Erin is passing out her bracelets she made.

I saw lots of cows on the side of the road. I also saw children everywhere. We saw tons of mountains formed from volcanoes. We saw very small houses and rows of corn slanted on the mountains. I saw someone washing their clothes in the stream. In the country I watched women making pupusas. Pupusas is a Salvadoran dish made of something like tortillas filled with cheese, beans or pork.

I heard lots of Spanish each day. I heard laughter at the block parties. I heard crying too. The last thing I heard was everyone saying, “Adios, amigos.”

When we were in El Salvador I met this girl named Pati. She was 12, and we started playing soccer together. Then later I gave her a green purse that I had brought from home. I painted her nails and did jumpies with her, and me and her turned out to be “amigos.”

I felt sad for the people there because they are very poor. I felt sad to leave the Resendez family. I also felt happy to be back home. I felt really tired when I got back home.

I learned that we are more fortunate here, and that we should not take everything for granted. We should treat our stuff very well because the people there don’t have a lot of stuff. We should also be grateful for the water we have here. I think it was a great trip. It was really fun. I think it was a great experience. I will be going on another mission trip. If you like to do missions, you would like to do this.

Erin helped in the nursery on Sunday morning during church which is somethings she does at our church.

I’d like to thank all the people who gave money, who bought a bracelet, or who prayed for us. I’m very glad you are a part of my life. And thanks again. It was really kind of you to do that.

El Salvador -- Went to be a blessing but was blessed so much more

2011-07-26T16:35:00.000-05:00

The trip begins with 4 truckers honking when prompted by the pumping of the arm, 56 plus dogs along the road to Chinamecca, two horses and one deceased cat. The mission trip to El Salvador ended with 961 souls being saved, 25 mission trippers returning safely, and one very tired but proud momma.

Even though this was my second time to go to El Salvador, it was going to be a very different kind of trip. My first trip was to speak at women’s conferences as the main speaker. To encourage women – my calling. I was in the company of Sally Frasier Gaspard, Lupe Meza and Susan Resendez on my first trip. That first trip really solidified my calling into women’s ministry, and it was part of Susan and her family’s call to serve in El Salvador as missionaries.

This second trip I went on because my ten year old daughter felt led to go, so we did what we needed to do to make that happen. She has had a heart for missions ever since her first Mission Week at Calvary when she heard the stories from real missionaries. Erin’s heart and compassion is part of what makes her Erin, but it is also part of my concern about taking her on this trip.

This was Erin’s third trip to fly, but her first to go out of the country. Our first two nights we stayed at the Bible Institute in Chinemecca. This is the place where nationals come for seminary, and once their training is complete they start churches. Showered in our flip flops. No air conditioning. But PTL (praise the Lord) for indoor plumbing!

The first two days on the ground we went to schools in the morning and held block parties in the afternoon. By the end of the day we were smelling quite righteous (hahaha). At the first school, Erin took her bracelets that we made using the Coke can tops. (Thanks for all who sent those to us) She was swarmed. All the girls wanted them. I had a little boy ask for one and when I told him it was for the girls his eyes teared up, so I put one on his arm. I just couldn’t make him cry. After Erin had given out her last one there were still more who wanted her bracelets. She came up to me, and in her sweet, deep voice said, “Momma, I feel so guilty. I don’t have one for all of them.” WOW! Erin has always been generous, but to associate guilt with her lack or her inability to give more was a big revelation for her.

That first evening at the block party I found one of the ladies who headed up the women’s trip last year. Her name is Vashti. I reminded her of our past connection, and we caught up on what happened in the two years since we met. I introduced her to Erin and saw her two girls. She asked if I would be there the next day, and I said I would. She went home and made Erin and I matching aprons to bring the next day. I went to bless and was blessed instead.

The next morning we went to more schools and invited them to the block party that afternoon where they would hear the Word of God. After the block party we made our way to the hotel back in San Salvador. AHHHH, air conditioning! Swimming pool!

Thursday was our rest day. We spent a lovely day spending time together on the black sand beaches of El Salvador and sliding down a water slide on the side of a mountain. It was gorgeous, and the fellowship was wonderful!

On Thursday, we went to another school, but in a small remote country area. This by far was the hottest day of our trip. I thought my skin was on fire, and even though I had been using 50 spf every day of the week with multiple applications, I still got burned. After the school, we went door-to-door to invite the neighbors to the block party. A translator from the local church went with us, and Erin, Brenda and I were matched with Susie, a sweet young lady. Erin’s fear of roosters came into play, but not one of them attacked her. Many accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior at this block party. It just goes to show what Satan means for harm (the hottest day of all) that God can use for His good and His glory.

The next day, we went door-to-door evangelism in a different area with a different church and translator. We were matched with Daniel, a young man in college whose identical twin was an interpreter for another group. We witnessed to a lady at a stand selling fruit, and she was saved. We would go on to lead three other sets of mothers and daughters to Christ that day. What I loved was that Erin was there watching taking it all in. A couple of times, she would say, “I want to do the next one.” We tell her that would be fine, and we would get there and she would go silent. And if you know Erin at all, you know that is not the norm. I’d lean over and say, “I thought you had this one.” To which she would respond, “I’ll get the next one.” In the end, we let her be the icebreaker. She would invite them to the block party through the use of our interpreter. I am so thankful Erin had that kind of exposure.

The block party that day was simply AMAZING! The Calvary group arrived to set things up, but the church members who had been out going door-to-door witnessing and inviting the neighbors to the party were already there unloading and setting up. I got in line to help unload the trailer, and without fail one of the men from that church would step in front of me and take the item I was going to grab. This church had it going on! These fellow Christians were EAGER TO SERVE! I was in awe because we don’t see that kind of heart for service in this volume here. I was working the balloons with the twins which I affectionately renamed Pete and Repete, Claire, and Juan. While Kurt was preaching, we were getting ready because they were expecting a large group of people. They were right. They estimated about 2000 would show up. Of that number about 1000 would be members from their church! The result of the presentation of the gospel – 750 decisions made for Christ. An AMAZING DAY!

Sunday was just as amazing going to the Mejicano Church. They have 1000 people in the early service and about that many in the second service with only two people on staff. When asked what problems does the pastor have to deal with since he doesn’t have any staff to speak of, he said he had to encourage people to give up their posts of service because everyone needed an opportunity to share. They had to learn to take turns serving. Did you read that? They had to take turns serving because they ALL wanted to serve their Lord! From holding and dispensing the toilet paper at the restrooms to rocking babies…everyone wanted to serve. We could really learn a lesson from this church.

I know most of the photos I’ve posted on Facebook have been of us goofing off or laughing, but it’s only because the rest of the time we were working and sweating it out. I was blessed this trip on many different levels and will blog more about the lessons I learned, but I want you to know, I’ve asked Erin to write a blog from her perspective. I hope you will read it.

Saul and Myron

2011-07-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

When I investigated insurance fraud in Texas, periodically I would take a trainee into an appointment where I would take a recorded statement of someone. On this particular day, I took a kid right out of college named Myron. Myron was green as a gourd in the insurance industry and in taking statements, and soaking wet, he may have weighed 140 pounds. I was scheduled to take the recorded statement of an insured that had turned in a claim reporting that his truck was stolen. What our insured didn’t know was that I knew where his truck was, and I knew what he had done with it. But I was giving him the opportunity to tell the truth. Our insured was 5’ 10” and was a “no-necker” – meaning he worked out all the time and didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He walked into the office with a protein drink, tank top and shorts. His biceps were as large as both of my legs combined. He was bald and had a goatee. He strolled to the chair I directed him to, and I started sizing him up and formulating my game plan. I sat across the desk from him making sure to note where the panic button was. In the event that something should go wrong, I could push the panic button, and theoretically, people from the back of the office would run to my rescue…theoretically. Myron was sitting to my right near the door. The insured had a barbed wire tattooed around one of bicep, and he had another tat on his other arm that I could not quite make-out.

I began taking the statement in a conversational manner looking for how he would answer my questions when he was relaxed. Where did he look? What was his body language? What words did he use and the pattern of them? And as I was asking questions, inside my mind I was snickering thinking that this guy could really hurt me…he was HUGE! Double-checking the location of the panic button, I continued on into his history. Come to find out, our insured had been in the Special Forces and that tat I couldn’t make out…yeah, that was a Special Forces tat. At that point, I stopped worrying about the panic button because I knew he could break every bone in my body before I got to the panic button, and as I glanced at Myron, well, I knew he would be of no help. So, I continued on, and the insured provided great details…they were lies, but they were in great detail.

Fortunately, I was given instructions not to confront. My instructions were to give him an opportunity to tell his little story of lies, and I did. Then I cut him loose.

As I look back on that experience had I had to confront this beast of a man, I think I could relate to how Ananias felt when God told him to go meet with Saul. With the nervous giggles, “Um, God, do you see how big this guy is? Do you know how bad to the bone he is? He can break every bone in my body before I could reach the panic button, and Myron, here; he ain’t gonna be much help in my defense.” The other part of that would be, “God, are you sure you want me to talk to him because he’s not really on your side. I think you could find someone better suited for the job…really.”

Think about the person who scares you the most. For some it would be going to maximum security prison. For some it would be going to the bad part of town. For some it is talking to the person in the next cubicle or that person in your family. Now, God tells you to go to them and share God’s words with them. That is how Ananias felt, but God said “go,” and Ananias did. Did you? The results for Ananias were a story for the ages. He was able to see the hand of God change Saul to Paul.

Then there was the other question… “God, why him?” So many times people get so distracted, especially in church, with what other people are doing or not doing that they lose their effectiveness, lose sight of the dream God has given them. Too often people are concerned with how they aren’t included in a certain clique or how this person was preferred over another to trust God to handle it all. IT AIN’T YO’ BABY TO ROCK IF SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING SOMETHING! You are responsible for yourself and your obedience to God and your relationship to God. PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES OR BIG BOY BRITCHES ON and GET OVER YOURSELF. Why Saul? Why not Saul? Why Stephanie? Why not Stephanie? Focus on what is important…on WHO is important. Be obedient. Follow where He leads you, and don't worry about what the others are doing and not doing. I promise you won’t regret it.

The INDEPENDENT becomes the DEPENDENT -- not a fan

2011-07-17T10:00:00.001-05:00

South paw. Left-handed. Only one in their right mind. Accident proned living in a right-handed world. I have heard all of these for I am a lefty. Growing up, I hated having notebooks with the rings on the left, and there were certain pens that I couldn’t use because they would smudge. This would not be the only thing that would make me different nor the only thing that would force me to do things differently than others. If you are right-handed, have you ever tried being a lefty for a day? Eat with your left. (After all the fork is on the left, shouldn’t you use your left hand?) Wear your watch or jewelry on the opposite side. Anything you would do with your right you would stop and do with your left. Awkward, isn’t it? Uncomfortable? Doesn’t really make sense to do it with your left because you are more efficient doing the task with your right.

Isaiah 55:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Verse 9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God does not always choose to do what is comfortable for us. God does not always choose to use the person we think He should use. We’d like to put God in a box, but He is God and cannot be contained by anything man creates. Sometimes He does a thing just because He can.

What has driven me to this whole thinking and reasoning is reading Acts 9. Why would God choose to send the PERSECUTOR to the PERSECUTED? Because He can, but in order to do so, God has to shake Saul’s world upside down, inside out, and all around. It wasn’t comfortable to say the least. You see, to get Saul to where he needed to be, the POWERFUL had to become POWERLESS. The IMPRISONER had to become IMPRISONED by his own inabilities. The SIGHTED became BLIND. The INDEPENDENT became the DEPENDENT -- that's a tough one. The LEADER had to be LED. The STRONG had to become DEFENSELESS. God did not write Saul off the books because he was difficult -- thank goodness. Instead, God chose to take Saul down to bare metal. Been there, done that. Are you there now? If you are, take hope. Philippians 1:6, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

God is so good. He loves us too much to leave us in the state we are in. He can use anyone whether they are a willing vessel or not. He knows what it takes to get a person’s attention. He knows the calling He has put on each person’s life, and in verse 15 of Acts 9 God said, “This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel.”

God does not always choose to work within the confines set by man. Sometimes He chooses to shake things up. Keeps things interesting, don’t it! That is why it is so imperative that we have an intimate relationship with Him. No one is to be overlooked. God doesn’t write anyone off as being useless. Who would have thought God would use a Christian-slayer to be a Christian leader? Have you written anyone off? If so, you might want to seek God’s guidance about the best practice for that person. He may just have you devote yourself to praying for that person, or he may call you out like Ananias to go and minister to him/her. AWKWARD! What will you do when that happens? Will you go and trust God’s ways, or will you miss out on the blessing and stay put? This journey isn’t about your being comfortable. It’s about growing in your faith and in your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. He can use you, and He will, if you allow Him.

Teleporting in the Bible: Running in the Bible -- "Alex, what are 'Things we miss when we don't take time to dig'?"

2011-07-10T08:07:00.001-05:00

Before Star Trek was introduced to us in 1966 and before we heard about “teleporting,” do you know that “teleporting” happened in the Bible? Personally, I’m not a Star Trek fan, but the creator and writer was very creative and imaginative. At any rate back to my point, teleporting actually occurred in the Bible.
During our study of “Out Live Your Life,” my mind has really become intrigued with Acts 7 and 8. When you make time, I highly recommend focusing on this passage of Scripture for a week…at least!

Okay, on to support my point. After Stephen was stoned, Saul and others turned up the persecution of the church which caused its members to spread. Persecution sort of back-fired here, because persecution caused the believers to go in all different directions, and as they went they spread the Word of God. What Satan means for evil, God can use for good (Romans 8:28). The church grew!

Philip went to Samaria, and he was filled with the Spirit doing as the Lord led him to do. People were saved. Unclean spirits were cast out. Miracles were performed. Then the Lord spoke to Philip (8:26). He told Philip to go to a road that goes to the desert. What I personally noticed was that Philip didn’t ask what he’d be doing, he didn’t complain about leaving the mountain high he was on, he didn’t voice his concern about going to the desert road. Verse 27 says, “So he got up and went” – like this was the most ordinary thing. I heard from the Lord, and I obey him. Completely unfettered by his own agenda or what he thought might be his personal restraints as to why he couldn’t go.

When Philip got there, the Spirit told Philip to go to a specific chariot that was parked along the road. I love verse 3—“Then Philip ran.” God speaks and gives direction – Philip runs to complete it. God leads: Philip runs to follow. He literally runs. I think he runs out of obedience, but I also think he runs in anticipation to see what God is going to do. Are you excited or are you anticipating what God is going to do next? Are you anticipating how God is going to use you next? If not, start running to it, the endorphins might help you ;>

God lead him to the place where he was supposed to be. Philip ran to it. God provided the opportunity – the eunuch was already reading the Scripture and had questions. Sometimes we are the sowers, and other times we are the reapers. Philip and the eunuch didn’t have much in common. The eunuch had a place of position and authority. The eunuch had prestige and money. Philip was a refuge. The eunuch was dark skinned. Philip – not so much. Yet, God brought both men together and provided the means for which they could communicate and find unity. It’s a God-thang.

So, Philip travels with the eunuch a ways until they found some water. HANG ON! THIS IS WHERE THE TELEPORTING HAPPENS! The eunuch wants to be baptized, so Philip baptizes the eunuch. When the eunuch comes up out of the water verse 39 says the “Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him any longer.” Verse 40 says Philip then appeared in Azotus. TELEPORTING via the Spirit!

What a phenomenal story of faith and obedience of Philip! What an amazing story and testimony he had! God continued using Philip.

Where are you today in your walk with God? Are you a believer? Do you follow Him? Do you run when He leads you somewhere? Do you obey when God puts someone in your path? When something bad happens, do you look to see how God is going to turn it around? If you aren’t, then you are missing the ride of your life. You are missing out on a great adventure.

Transitional Thursdays -- Not a Fan of Vanilla

2011-07-07T08:00:00.002-05:00

It’s been a while since I wrote about the transition. It seems as if the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing in corporate America. They had one team reviewing the facilities and whether or not we were going to need them, and yet another group revising how we would do our jobs and from where we would do them. That’s right – they didn’t know about each other. So, while it may look good temporarily that my position is supposed to remain in the field, but if you go by the other study, I don’t have an office to pee in (hahaha).

Transitions happen in every area of our lives. Right now, Patrick is working in Arkansas. He’s been up there since the beginning of May, and we aren’t sure when he’ll be home to stay. When he’s home, it is oh so nice and comforting. When he’s not home, we are good, but we miss him.

Then I think about the calling God has put on my life…women’s ministry full time. There are times that I’m very thankful that I don’t work in the church. It would be like another career or job in a boy’s club but different. That probably makes no sense, but when I started in SIU, there weren’t many women in the field. It’s just a different feel than what it is today because there are more women in my field than before. Women have a natural instinct for it. But church work…I just don’t know. At least by doing women’s ministry on the side, I don’t feel like I have to break through the glass ceiling in the evangelical church. By not being on staff in the church, I can focus solely on ministering to the women God has called me to lead and minister to. And fortunately, I'm blessed to do this in a church that I love. As for full time status, I’m used to working in a diverse corporate culture which isn’t found in the evangelical church unfortunately. Who knows? Maybe one day that will change. Only God knows for sure.

For now, I am thankful for the opportunities God has provided me to encourage, to pray for, to minister to, and to love on the women of Calvary. Women who are going through divorce, grief, difficult marriages, child rearing – I love ministering to them. I love introducing them to other godly women who can encourage them in their walk and give them godly counsel. I love encouraging our women to have church outside the walls of Calvary. Our women are plugging into different ministries around town loving on the people God created…a diverse people. I’m so thankful that God didn’t just create vanilla. How boring that would be, even though that is my son’s favorite flavor. (Personally, I’m a Rocky Road or Happy Trails kind of ice cream person.) I’m thankful that in His great wisdom He gave all the spiritual gifts to all who believe…women and men, white, Hispanic, Asian, African-American, etc. He didn’t give some of the gifts to one part of the population and another gift to another. We are to exercise the gifts God gave us.

Won't it be great when we all get to heaven and there is no religion to separate us? Won't it be great when we all get to heaven and worship Him together -- male and female, all races and all believers?

So, I’m not anxious about the calling God has put on my heart. He is bigger. He is in control. I am just responsible for being obedient. He's responsible for everything else.

I will not be anxious about whether or not I will or will not have a job come the end of the year because humans in corporate don’t know what the left hand is doing. He is bigger. He is in control.

I will eagerly await the day that my husband feels like we are where we need to be fiscally in order to return to working in Shreveport daily instead of out of town. I know God has this under control too.

Sooo, Transitional Thursdays will probably not be an ongoing event on my blog, but every now and then I may have to reaffirm my faith that God is in control, and I’ll blog then on this subject. Thanks for being patient as I work through these things. It’s all in the journey He has set before me, and while I may feel like I’m going at it blind, I know He knows the way, and He will not forsake me (Is 42:16).

Wonders: What Will You Do?

2011-07-03T11:07:00.005-05:00

Do you know who James Zwerg is? I remember watching an interview with James Zwerg, and I couldn’t help but watch the whole piece. Zwerg was from Wisconsin but was going to a college in Tennessee in the early 60s. His roommate was an African American young man who invited him to ride a bus. Some of you know them as the “Freedom Riders.”

James was described as “humble and modest,” but he says he had a hot temper as a child. So as he went through the training on civil disobedience, he wasn’t sure he would be able to maintain the calmness necessary for the job.

His family did not understand his desire to participate and cut off ties with him for a while. Before Mr. Zwerg stepped a foot on the bus, he wrote his family a letter stating he would most likely be dead when they read it, and yet he rode the bus anyway. After some setbacks the bus ride made it to Alabama. There was a mob waiting. Men and women used whatever they could find to beat the riders.

“Branch writes: ‘One of the men grabbed Zwerg's suitcase and smashed him in the face with it. Others slugged him to the ground, and when he was dazed beyond resistance, one man pinned Zwerg's head between his knees so that the others could take turns hitting him’.”

“Zwerg, whose religious faith had been considerably strengthened by earlier Civil Rights efforts, recalls that his beating was preceded by "an incredible religious experience." Upon asking God for the strength not to fight back, Zwerg describes feeling "a peace that I've never experienced again in my life.”

Later Zwerg would meet Rev Martin Luther King and become a pastor for 10 years. In his TV interview he said he had searched for that type of bond that he had with the other riders and that type of peace since the riot and had never found it. He became a pastor thinking he could find that bond again, but after 10 years of dealing with the people of the church, he realized it was not to be.

“A peace that I’ve never experienced again in my life.” This was the phrase that popped into my mind when I read about Stephen in Acts 7.

Stephen was described as one with a good reputation, full of the Spirit, wisdom and faith. He was a servant who was full of grace and power who performed great wonders and signs. He was an over-comer, and when it mattered the most, when his faith was tested, he chose to teach. He taught the Sanhedrin, the scribes and Pharisees about how they have persecuted and rejected everyone God had sent them starting with Moses. He pointed out that God’s presence isn’t contained in the Tabernacle carried to and fro or in the temple, but that God Almighty sits on His throne. Jesus Christ whom they had just put to death was now with God. Stephen pointed out that the laws were given by angels, and yet, they still did not obey God.

When you point out the sins of a nation, the sins of the church, the sins of a group of people – they will not like it. They rose up to stone Stephen. Acts 7:55-56, “But Stephen, FULL of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”And while they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, “‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he fell on his knees and cried out, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he fell asleep” (vs 59-60).

Stephen didn’t fight back. He didn’t resist. He prayed, and then he went to meet his sweet Savior.

James and Stephen both experienced the peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7) in the face of abuse and death. One who still searches for that kind of peace today, and one who lives forevermore with the Prince of Peace.

My question for you today is this. By outliving your life, you will come against opposition. How will you handle it? It’s been over seven years ago that our pastor said that the desire God had put on his heart was to put a banner over the city of Shreveport. Do you know why it has taken us as a church so long to get to the place where we can reach out and start spreading that banner? Opposition. Opposition within our church, and now some opposition within our community. Pastor Rick has stayed the course. Will you? When it gets hard will you stay and stand in the gap? When you are tired, but there is a block party to assist, will you come? Satan will do whatever he can to keep you from where you need to be serving. Just like the Sanhedrin, scribes and Pharisees there will be people who say, “You can’t do that,” or “That’s not going to do any good.” What will you say? What will you do?

When I took a trip to Italy several years ago, I stood in the colleseum in Rome where many Christians were martyred for their faith, and I had to wonder, "Am I that strong? Are my convictions and my faith that strong that I am willing to die for them?" Many have answered with their lives, and many have fallen short. Where do you stand?

(You can read more on the interview with James Zwerg at http://www.beloit.edu/archives/documents/archival_documents/james_zwerg_freedom_ride/.)

Driving While My Car Shade Was in the Front Window -- Yep, of course, I can't explain

2011-07-01T04:01:00.000-05:00

Today, I did something that I have never done before, and I have to preface it by telling you I had just finished swimsuit shopping (a traumatic event in and of itself) and having lunch with my mom where we talked about my passion – Women’s Ministry. My mind was coursing in a million and one different directions because I hadn’t taken my Strattera in a couple of days, so I can have multiple thought processes going at one time, and I can talk REALLY, REALLY, REALLY fast.

I pulled up to the light nearest my office, and as I pressed the brake and came to a stop, I reached over, grabbed the silver reflector that I put on my front dash to keep the heat out, and I began putting it in the window…my front window. Did I mention that I was stopped at a red light? After I completed the task, I looked around and saw the vehicle next to me and the driver within it. I immediately snapped back into reality realizing those around me could see me sitting at the red light with my car shade up and functioning. I immediately started doing the nervous laugh that went to flat out gales of laughter with tears rolling down my face, as I prayed to God that no one had seen me or would see me as I was taking it down. Of course, I have to call and tell my momma. I can’t keep my stupid acts to myself. I figure if I’m laughing, others might need something or someone at which to laugh. In my family, you have to learn to laugh at yourself, or they will laugh without you.

Have you noticed that sometimes we do things by rote or habit? It’s just a natural flow of events. I stopped, therefore I put up the blinder. I’m brushing my teeth, so I try to put on my deodorant but on top of my shirt – not that this has happened to me, mind you. You know, blinders aren’t bad. They keep the sun out of your vehicle. They lower the temperature degree of the interior of your vehicle. It protects your dash from being damaged by the sun. Blinders have their functional place, but it’s the timing of its use that is critical. It's the small details. Putting a blinder in the window while you are driving ain’t the right time on any day.

Doing things by rote isn’t necessarily a bad thing either. They are easily scheduled. They are predictable. We can do them mindlessly and with little effort.

And while doing things by rote and the practice of utilizing an everyday objects to make life more pleasant and palatable isn’t harmful, I do believe our relationship with Jesus Christ should be anything but rote or habitual. If we look forward to women’s ministry events because it is what we’ve always done, then it’s by rote. It’s predictable, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Personally, I like to be surprised by new events and experiences. I think they enrich my life. But when we start putting God in the “by rote” department, then we come to a problem. You see, we need to expect the unexpected with God. Too often, Christians put God in a box of what He can and cannot do. My mom has a quote on her desk. It reads, “Whatever your faith says God is, He will be.” He is more than capable to do anything, but it’s our own limitations, our own lack of creativity, our own self-restricted level of faith that puts the cap on what He does in our lives. Did you get that? You might need to read it again. I had to. We need to be asking our heavenly Father for those “surprise blessings.” Every good and perfect gift comes from Him according to James.

If we start using our Bible (an everyday object in the life of a Christian) for one purpose only like for convicting other Christians, then we are missing its full power and effectiveness. When we use the Bible only for our own enrichment, then we are leaving out the evangelistic part of the Bible.

When we are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, when we are willing to do things outside of our comfort zone, and when we are able to see what God wants us to see, it’s amazing how clear our vision can be. He can remove the blinders – those things that keep us from moving forward – and restore our vision so we can move down the path He has chosen for us exposing us to the majesty and the infinite possibilities only He can fulfill.

So, I encourage you to take your blinders off as you go along your Christian way. Ask God to reveal His majesty to you in new and real ways and prepare yourself for who God reveals himself to be. I promise it will be an amazing ride!

Swim Suit Shopping, OB Visit, and Teeth Pulling -- A Three-Way Tie

2011-06-29T15:45:00.000-05:00

I don’t know of any woman who eagerly looks forward to going to her OB for her annual exam OR for her mammogram, but it is a necessary evil. And I do mean NECESSARY. If you don’t go every year and don’t get a mammogram, then shame on you. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else can. It ain’t fun, but it can save your life so you can be the momma you are supposed to be to the people who need you the most. Get off your behind and call your OB NOW! Ok, I will come of my soap box.

I rank going to the OB and having to buy a swimsuit right up there with teeth pulling. It AIN’T PLEASANT, and IT AIN’T PRETTY! I was going to go with my girlfriend shopping but when that fell through, I invited my mom to go along. I’m used to her laughing at me…although she promised she wouldn’t. My issues with one-piece swimsuits are as follows:

1. I’m long-waisted (If it fits at the bottom, then it comes up under my boobs…not exactly the type of support I’m looking for – my apologies to the guys who read my blog)

2. If I get a one piece that fits the girls, then the bottoms are so large that fish could swim in and out

3. If I get one that fits the bottom, the girls runneth over

So, really I have no real choice but to buy a two piece.

So, I go to a tankini. The top fits, and I find a matching bottom, but I really don’t like the way the top of my legs look. And I most certainly don’t like my legs touching together. So, I found a cute swim short by Nautica and found a cute top to go with it that doesn’t dip down at all. Some of you might think a little dip isn’t that bad, but if I’m wearing a swimsuit and the boy is around, I really don’t know what will cross his mind, and I have to be prepared.

So, I found a cute red and white polka-dot one piece, and tried it on for grins…yeah, it didn’t work. Then I stumbled onto swim shorts! But trying to find my size was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I was on my knees praying out to God, “Please let them have my size.” If you live in Shreveport and you hid your swim shorts in Dillard’s swimming section and you can’t find them – I did. Love these. They are athletic looking and cute – check. Tried a few on until I found one that fit. Now I needed to find a top. Mom stayed in the dressing room while I walked around the swimsuit section wearing my newly discovered swim shorts. During my ever-so-focused shopping for a top, I heard the saleswoman ask another dejected, downtrodden woman, “Did you find anything you like?” The woman chuckled, “This is my 16th one to try on. I think I’m just going to have to go with it. I think I need a drink. Is it too early to get a drink?” God love her and bless her heart – if you’re Southern, you know what those mean.

I think they should put special mirrors in women’s dressing rooms where women will be trying on swimsuits. Each room should have special “filtered” mirrors, and the doors could be labeled so you would know which one to enter. “If you are big bottomed, enter here.” You enter, get dressed, and the mirror minimizes and helps shape your asset…let’s just say. “If you are pigment challenged, enter here.” You enter, get dressed, and the mirror gives your skin a healthy tint of color. “If you have a pudge, enter here.” You enter, get dressed and the mirror smoothes that pudge right on out like you had been pressed by an iron. Instead, I hurriedly tried on the different possibilities and quickly selected what I feel to be the least offensive. If you happen to have to see me in my swimsuit, you must have a lot of sin in your life and this is your punishment. Repent! Repent! You know, if they used filtering mirror, women would leave those dressing rooms feeling good about themselves and wouldn’t mind spending that ungodly amount for a swimsuit that they will only wear a couple of times during two months of the year.

AND THAT BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER THING -- the cost of getting a new swimsuit. OH MY WORD! For something I can use for one season of the year, the cost is outrageous! I could easily eat my comfort food every day for 1 ½ months and get more pleasure, and it wouldn’t cost as much. I don’t guess I realized how rare Spandex and Lycra are. Personally, I think it’s just wrong…just wrong.

Unlike some of my young’uns who might post a picture of themselves on Facebook or their blog of them in a bathing suit, I choose to save you the cost of counseling. Use your money more wisely…go buy some scoops from Baskin Robbins and think of me.

There's No Fungus Among Us...So, What It is

2011-06-28T15:59:00.002-05:00

My children have the most beautiful olive complexions. We use sunscreen, and even still they both get just beautiful tans during the summer months. That’s why within the past month I noticed white splotches on Pearcey-Poo’s face. He is always outside. The heat doesn’t seem to affect him like it does me. I could be proned to swooning if I stay out too long. I don’t know how Scarlett O’Hara ever wore all that garb on days like today. But when Pearce comes inside his cheeks are pink and his splotches are very white…almost like he’s trying to look like his parents.

You know, I wish I was dark enough for someone to notice I had white splotches, but instead, I’m one big white splotch with a lot of little dark spots. Kinda like is a zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes, or are dalmations white with black spots or black with white spots? I guess that’s neither here nor there (whatever that cliché means).

At any rate, Pearce doesn’t have a fungus, but if either of my children were going to have one, he would be the one to get it. Instead, like his sister, the white splotches are akin to ezcyma. It doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t itch. I mainly took him, so I would have peace of mind, and now I do.

Now on to prepare my psyche to go swimsuit shopping tomorrow. A friend of mine has offered to come because she is convinced I will be laughing with her instead of crying. I think most likely she’ll be laughing, and I will be sighing and rolling my eyes. I’d say photos to come, but I wouldn’t want anyone to lose their appetites or go blind or need therapy.

Is HAVING to go buy a SWIMSUIT -- Pray for the Salesperson

2011-06-27T16:44:00.000-05:00

Shopping for swimsuits is not what I consider fun shopping. I count it at the top of my personal torture list. I cannot tell you when the last time I went and bought a swimsuit. I avoid it at all costs. People think because of my build or shape that swimsuit shopping would be no big deal, but they would be oh soooooo very wrong.

Those of us who are “pigment challenged,” “critically Caucasian,” or “translucent” avoid the sun at all cost. When I am out at a pool, I’ve been known to blind airplane pilots that fly overhead. Birds have had head-on collisions. My friends ask me to lay a certain way so as to reflect a more intense sunbeam in their direction. And now that I have crested the hill and am in my 40s, things that were once solidified have become…how shall I say it, gelatin.

The perfect swimsuit for me would solidify me and suck up the stuff around the middle, support the girls, and be of such a color that it would make me look like I have some melanin in my skin. I don’t want a high cut, low cut swimsuit, and I sure don’t want a bikini! I would traumatize my children even more than I already have.

The reason I’m shopping for a swimsuit is because my daughter and I are going on a mission trip and will have an opportunity to swim. Personally, I think seeing me in a swimsuit would frighten enough young girls into salvation. Praying, “Please Lord, don’t let me look like that in a swimsuit!”

When I was little, I spent a lot of time outside, and I got freckles…a lot of freckles. My hopes as a child and teenager is that I would have enough freckles that they would one day connect and give me one wickedly, savage tan, but alas, that did not happen. BUT, my freckles did provide entertainment for my sister in church by giving her plenty of dots to connect with her pen.

So, if you are in Dillard’s anytime in the next week or so and you hear sighs of exasperation, gales of hysterical laughter, or an ongoing conversation with only one voice participating say a prayer and walk far, far, far away. If you know my husband’s cell number, you may want to let him know.

A Hungry Kid

2011-06-26T10:30:00.002-05:00

Pretend with me for a moment, will you?

You are on a trip by yourself to visit an old friend, and you stop for lunch to eat at this little country diner on the side of the road in no place special. You decide to eat at the counter. As you are perusing the menu, something catches your attention out of the corner of your eye. It’s a little boy with his hands and face pressed against the glass looking inside at the customers. You put your menu down as you watch the little boy’s eyes go from table to table. He can’t be more than 7 or 8. The waitress comes up to take your order, “What will it be, Hon?”

“Tell me about the little boy at the window. Do you know him? Is he looking for his parents?”

“No. He’s a neighborhood kid.”

“Well, why is he at the window?”

“I’ll tell the cook to shoo him away.”

“No, don’t do that. Just tell me why he’s there,” you say.

“I don’t know the whole story, but he’s probably hungry. I’ve seen him going through our dumpster and eating the food out of it.”

You are horrified. Where’s his momma? Why doesn’t he have food at home? You have so many questions, but the waitress has turned to go take another order. You step down from your stool and walk outside. “Will you do me a favor?” you ask. “I don’t like eating alone. Would you be my guest? You sure would be helping me out if you would.”

Shyly the boy follows you into the diner, and you show him where the restroom is so he can wash up. He returns, and you begin asking him what he’d like to eat. You place the order.

Is that something you could see yourself doing? I could see myself doing that very easily.

But what if the one peering in the window isn’t a little boy but a homeless person, a person who has been beaten up by the world and been spit out on the curb? What if the person looking in the window is a woman who has bruises on her face and arms? What if the person was covered with tattoos and piercings? How does your answer change? “Well, I’d be worried about my security.” You are in a very public place. There are still ways to get a meal to that person standing on the outside of the window.

God creates every human being on this planet the same way as the next. The ground at the base of the cross is LEVEL. “For ALL have sinned,” Romans says. They may have made bad decisions in their lives that brought them to this point, but they might not have. WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE? If God leads you to a person to whom you are to minister, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OBEYING. He is responsible for everything else. I challenge you to read Matthew 25:34-45, and then I challenge you to pray and ask God to open your eyes to see those in front of you, so you may see them the way He sees them. If you pray this, He will answer, and if He answers then you will become responsible to act.

Serving as He leads requires us to see the people He puts in front of us the way He sees them and then to minister to them as He leads us. What happens next is all up to Him…What will you allow Him to do through you?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is an exert from my lesson today.

Child Swap Experiment -- Day 2

2011-06-22T15:42:00.002-05:00

Would 48 hours make a difference? The kids actually wanted to swap siblings for 5 days, but prior commitments prevented that from happening. On Tuesday at 3 PM, I picked Pearce up from Lori and Michael’s, and Catherine and Erin were delivered to their house by our babysitter. Once I collected the two children God had given me and was headed home, I asked each of them what was the best thing about the past 2 days. Erin said playing with Catherine and going to the movies. Pearce said playing with Madeleine and playing in the sprinkler. Erin quickly added that she missed her brother though. She said she still wanted a little sister but didn’t want to give up her brother. Pearce said he missed playing the Wii with Erin. The warm fuzzy feeling lasted about an hour until Pearce in his exhaustion had a meltdown. He was in bed and asleep by 6:10 PM. This adventure had worn him out.

Lori and I do a lot of single parenting due to the jobs our husbands have, and when we are together, Lori and I do what we call “cross parenting.” It doesn’t matter if it’s my kid or hers, if I catch them then I get onto them. If she sees the need to discipline, then she takes care of business regardless of the child. It works for us. When the older ones were smaller, we were together so often that it was common to hear them get confused and call one of us “Aunt Mommy.” I’m so thankful to live so close to my family and to have such a wonderful relationship with them. We also try to use the “RAPTURE AND TRANSFORMATION form of discipline.” That is when you rapture the child away from the situation to transform their behavior by whatever means is the most effective. I remember being raptured out of church one time as a child, so my daddy could transform my behavior – it makes an impression. On more than one occasion I have escorted Pearce out of a situation or place. His high-stepping or tiptoeing out to be transformed has made an eye-opening impression on him as well.

Each of our kids is so different, and it’s been interesting to see them develop and relate to one another.

• Erin is the oldest of the four and is VERY phlegmatic with a dose of sanguine…meaning she is laid back and her sense of comedic timing is impeccable. She talks incessantly. She and Madeleine are in the same grade, and up to now, we have requested separate teachers. We did this after we heard that Erin was convincing the kids on the 3 year old playground that she and Madeleine were twins. We thought they needed to have their own friends, since they were always together anyway.

• Madeleine is the melancholy of the group…ever the serious one who likes things to be in order. She can be silly at times, but she’s more prim and proper than Erin ever thought about being. Madeleine would never go out in public and not match – this little issue doesn’t seem to bother Erin.

• Pearce is the only boy in the group and is primarily choleric with a touch of sanguine. He will be a charismatic leader one day. He is an instigator, agitator, and aggravator of the girls (primarily Erin). He is one who has known what he wants out of the world since he was a little person, and whoa be to the person who gets in his way which is normally me.

• Catherine is the sanguine with a dose of choleric. Catherine is very matter of fact, and she cracks me up. She finds beauty in Mohawks and gold teeth. She loves her monster trucks, dinosaurs and baby dolls. And just when you think she can’t surprise you, she opens her mouth and out it comes. She can also hold a grudge like nobody’s business…

Being able to accept the differences in each other has been trying at times for them, but they work it out. Learning to accept each other, working out differences, and forgiving one another is what family does. Family is about teamwork. If there is a self-centered person in the mix, the family unit struggles, but when we put Jesus first and others second, the family can flourish.

It’s fun to think that our kids think that their lives are “normal.” Lori and I thought our family was normal when we were growing up, but when we became adults we realized just how different our family was. We were a family who accepted different characters to be part of its membership. We were a family who pulled together when there was a crisis – each one doing what they can to contribute. We were a family who made it through the hard times thanks to our relationships with God and each other.

I’m sure we will do other experiments along the way. Some will be at the suggestions of the kids like this one, and some will be from us as the parents. Here is to living and learning from one another!

Day 1 of Child Swap Experiment

2011-06-20T20:34:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s been 24 hours since Lori and I traded our youngest kids because Erin has always wanted a little sister, and now she has Catherine. I think Erin is enjoying this because Catherine allows her to Mother Hen her.

Today at work, I saw two locust shells. I immediately thought of Pearce who would absolutely love that kind of thing, so I picked them up and brought them home. Upon arriving home, we had to load the garbage to take it to the dump, and as Erin was entering the front passenger door, she let out a little scream. This, I was expecting. She said she would ride in the back seat with Catherine. I asked Catherin if she like locust shells. She said, “I think I like them from afar.” Then we were off to the dump for we do not live in the city limits. Once there, Erin got out of the truck to unload the garbage, and Catherine did not want to be left out. She said she had never been to the dump before, and she wanted to help. So, out she came and threw a couple of air filters in the dumpster. Pleased with herself, she hopped back into the truck and back home we go.

By the time we got home, Catherine had warmed up to the idea of holding one of the locust shells. Erin finally worked up the nerve after I repeatedly and continually told her there are no live bugs inside, and after I pinky promised that I would not make any sudden noises to startle her. I’m saving the second shell for Pearce. After talking to Lori, I found out that Pearce had his toe nails painted (which isn’t the first time) and had been playing famously with Madeleine including brushing Madeleine’s hair and her American Girl doll’s hair. Then a site that has never been seen in their house, Madeleine strapped on a side-arm. Mind you, the gun is pink, but still she was wearing a gun on her hip…thanks to Pearce. Am I worried about Pearce brushing a doll’s hair or Madeleine’s or having his toe nails painted? ARE YOU KIDDING ME! He has more testosterone and sure in his manhood than most teenage boys. If you get a mustache by the age of 2 and sideburns by 4… Plus, if you’ve ever read any of my previous blogs about the boy, you know he is 100% boy. For all the men who had older sisters...they know. This is just going to make him a better husband one day.

"Aunt Kris, there's a cricket in the den," Catherine says in her low, southern drawl. "Okay." She stands there with this look like, "Well, that didn't get me anything." Catherine says, "Aunt Kris, there's a cricket in the den. Will you come get it?" "Catherine, the cricket never hurt anyone. If you want to move it, go right ahead." She walks into the den. I overhear Erin telling Catherine, "Catherine, be brave. It won't hurt you to walk by it." After hearing Erin say it, I walk into the den and say, "Erin, go ahead and kill the cricket and put it in the trash." Well, that just sent her over the drama-meter. I said, "But Erin, be brave. It won't hurt you." I grin. Erin starts whining and dancing side-to-side as she prepares to smack this poor, defenseless cricket with Pearce's shoe. Pop. She lifts the shoe and makes her obvious disgust evident by even greater drama. I'm grinning. Catherine lowers some toilet paper on the squished corpse, and I tell Erin she needs to put it into the trash. "WHAT!?" So, another dance from side-to-side and a little whining, she scoops the insect up and runs wailing into the kitchen to put it into the trash. Hehehe. What a brave little girl I have.

One distinct difference between the boy and Cat-Cat are the complex sound effects that come out of Pearce’s mouth. He can make the sound of almost any gun and various cars. Regardless of the firearm -- Tommy gun, bazooka, AK47, pistol -- Cat-Cat is holding I hear her say, “Ka-pow, ka-pow.”

Two ways that Cat-Cat and Pearcy-Poo are alike are they are both strong-willed (that might be a bit of an understatement), and they both love their dogs.

Now, Catherine is serenading me on the piano, and I get to guess the name of the song. “Bethoven’s 5th Symphony?” I ask. “No, but you’re close. It’s Gracie’s Gift Song.” (Gracie is her dog.) More clammering of keys, “Bach’s Movement in G," I guess. “No, THAT was Bethoven’s 5th, Aunt Kristy!” How much longer with Erin be in the bathtub!? “CATHERINE, YOU’RE TOO loud.” “Would you like me to play another?” “Oh, yes, but please do it quietly. My dog has sensitive hearing,” I say. OH THANK YOU, JESUS! Erin is out of the tub. One more song… “Oh, I have to sing? You will accompany me?” She nods. “Hit it,” she says. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let shine.”

After bath time, it’s a mean game of Uno with a couple pieces of chocolate. Now the chocolates are very special you see because the wrappers are gold. My Catherine believes gold teeth are the most beautiful teeth. She tells everyone who has them how much she likes them and how when she grows up she wants gold teeth. So this isn’t being disrespectful or making fun, this is Catherine having her dream a little early in her life.

AHHHH, now it’s quiet time. They are reading in Erin’s bed. The house gives a little sigh, and the dog whimpers. Good night, Sweet Girls, good night.

Love you, baby boy. See you tomorrow.

P.S. Catherine has spoken to Lori by phone once and asked to speak to her daddy once but got distracted. Have I heard from Pearce one time? NOPE. That's okay. Glad he feels secure to roam knowing where his home will always be.

Is Temporarily the Mother of Two Girls -- Don't Worry the Boy Knows His Way Home

2011-06-19T18:38:00.000-05:00

Who of you has a family of people just like you? Who of you would want a family of people just like yourself? I would drive MYSELF crazy! But sometimes our family members can drive us crazy too.

I like for things to match, coordinate, go-together. Erin – not so much. I like peace and serenity at times. Pearce – not so much. I like things organized and put where they belong. Patrick – not so much.

My daughter decided she was tired of having a brother, so she has talked my sister’s youngest into being her sister. The plan is to switch Pearce for Catherine for a couple of days in an experiment of sorts for the older girls. Madeleine and Pearce actually do get along quite well, and Erin and Catherine are kindred spirits. After the arrangements were made today at lunch we were driving home when Pearce said, “So, Mom, what are you going to do without me?” AHHHH, soak in a hot tub of water and not wonder what mischief you are into, read a book without occasionally looking up, maybe do some of my seminary work that I’m behind on. “Pearce, I have no idea what I’m going to do without you!”

So in exchange for my rough and tumble boy, I get Catherine, and while she may look cute and sweet, she is a force to be reckoned with. She is hysterically funny and strong-willed, plain spoken and has an opinion. She loves Mohawks and gold teeth. She is one of a kind. And since I am Catherine’s ONLY aunt, I get to be the fun aunt, the crazy aunt, the funny aunt, etc. Last time she stayed with me, I gave her a Mohawk. This time, we are going for the gold tooth! Pictures to follow.

Erin has always wanted a little sister. As a matter of fact, when we were going through the adoption process for the second time, our social worker came to the house. It was her first time to meet Erin who was about 3 years old. Erin said she would give the tour of the house, and when Erin got to her room, she opened the door with one hand and with her other she did a Vanna White scan across her body. “This is my bed, and this is my sister Sarah’s bed,” she told the social worker. At the time Erin had two twin beds. The social worker said, “Well, Erin, you could have a baby brother.” “No,” Erin said, “I’m going to have a baby sister, Sarah.” Not that Sarah isn’t a lovely name, but it just wasn’t on our short list for girl names. As a matter of fact, we didn’t have a short list of girl’s names because I was confident God was going to give us a boy. A week or two before Pearce was born, we bought Erin a doll that favored her and told her that the baby doll’s name was Sarah. She was thrilled. Now, to show you that God intended for us to have Pearce, the boy. Pearce’s birth mother’s name is Sarah, and he was born on her birthday. Yes, that is a God thing. It’s also how we tell Erin and Pearce that we know that Pearce is the one God chose to complete our family. So, the fact that Erin is still harping on wanting a little sister is of no surprise, but the fact that she convinced Catherine to be her little sister was quite clever.

I love the fact that my kids love to spend time with their cousins. I wish they had more time with the cousins from Patrick’s side, but that’s another story for another day. I remember spending a week or two with my cousins in Longstreet, raising horses down the pipeline, getting the eggs from the hen house every day, catching tadpoles from the trough, and having my hair braided and wrapped like Princess Leah. Lori and I would stay with my grandparents and spend our days with cousins running barefoot. Fond memories. I remember spending the holidays with the cousins on my mom’s side of the family. They would come for a week at a time during the summer, and we would go to Hamel’s. Do you remember Hamel’s? Some of my best childhood memories are at that park. There were bumper cars, tilt-a-whirl, roller coaster, waterlog ride, the yo-yo, and merry-go-rounds. We even had shirts to wear from Hamel’s. OH! Can’t forget the go-carts! If you were to compare the cousins on my mom’s side and the cousin’s I have on my dad side…well, you really can’t compare because they are all sooooo vastly different. One isn’t better than another. They’re just different.

Cherish the family you have been given…no matter how crazy they might drive you. There is no replacement for family – good, funny, crazy, different. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. Just goes to show that God DOES have a sense of humor.

Has Had Conversations to Cherish with my kids and Some I don't Cherish

2011-06-18T10:48:00.000-05:00

She stood by the toilet paper dispenser in their bathroom with her hands on her hips contemplating the roll that was sitting on top of the dispenser. “Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?” For a split moment, I grinned. Then I opened my mouth, and the words that tumbled out of my mouth were words that had been uttered in the 80s when I was in my youth. “Let see here, I go to the grocery story, cook the food, sort the laundry, wash, dry and fold the laundry, help you with your homework, pay the bills, clean the kitchen, drive you and your brother everywhere you need to go. Why don’t you tell me exactly what you do around here, and then I’ll finish my list.” Silence… Crickets... She was trying out the attitude, and it had not gone over well for her at all. When I was telling my sister about the interchange she asked, “Is she still with us?” Dr. Dobson said parenting isn’t for sissies, and I say parenting isn’t to be done without a support group! I laughed and told her that she is for now.

I’m sooooooo not ready for puberty. The taste we have received so far makes me dread what is going to come in the years ahead. The emotional roller coaster. The drama, or as Pearce says as he’s walking through the den, “Dwama, dwama, dwama.” I don’t have the heart to tell him this is just the beginning, and it will get worse before it gets better.

In our home, our children have responsibilities they must complete before they can have privileges that include music, television or play time. Responsibilities include taking care of their person (brushing teeth, hair, getting dressed), cleaning their room and their side of the bathroom, switching over the laundry, folding the laundry and putting it away. They are also responsible for loading and unloading the dishes and cleaning off the table. Yes, even my six year old does them. Erin has learned to make oatmeal, scrambled eggs and popcorn in the microwave. Pearce waters the plants and makes sure the dog is fed and watered. We don’t pay them for these because we see this as being part of living in a family. They get paid for their job – earning good grades at school. Sometimes if we have extra jobs around the house and they are wanting to earn money, then we offer it to them first.

I’m sure there are some that are better at this parenting-thing, but this is what we’ve come up with so far. Now, if we could just find a way to manage the attitude and raised voices. We talk about exercising self-control, and there are consequences for not exercising self-control. Some consequences are natural. Others we have to make along the way. It’s okay to have emotions, and we expect them to feel them and share them, but there is a better way than raising a voice or with an attitude.

I love the fact that both of our kids feel like they can talk to either of us. Pearce talked to me last night about his adoption and his birth mom…what a tender, sweet conversation. Absolutely love those conversations from the heart.

I’ve been asked if our children know they are adopted. Ever since I started telling stories to Erin her birth story has been part of the repertoire, and the same goes for Pearce. I love telling them their stories, and it has fascinated me as to the questions they ask at different times in their lives. I use the same verbiage – birth mom, biological sibling, birth father, etc. Things they understand on a simple level will go deeper as they age. I remember Erin asking me, “What does biological mean?” These are the conversations I cherish.

What conversations do you cherish with your children or grandchildren?

Trim Molding, Rope, a Bungee Cord, a Tool, a Couple of Sticks, and a Whistle -- ALL ON MY ROOF

2011-06-07T18:12:00.000-05:00

We have a garden that Pearce and I planted. It’s not a very big garden nor a very good garden for our rows are not straight…as a matter of fact, we don’t have rows. It’s kinda willy-nilly. Pearce would say, “This looks like a good place for one,” and there it was planted. I’m grinning, of course.

Tonight as I was watering our willy-nilly, wilting garden, I glanced over my right shoulder because something attracted my attention to the roof. The valley needs to be cleaned, but I don’t dare show Pearce how to get up on the roof or how to do that job. If you’ve read any of my prior post, you understand my reasoning. Then my eye scanned the roof over our craft room, and I had to do a double-take. Since I wasn’t really sure of what I was seeing, I went to inspect it once I had finished watering our willy-nilly wilting garden.

There on my roof were two pieces of trim molding, a rope, a bungee cord, a tool of some sort, a few sticks and a neon orange whistle. Let that soak in a moment. Knowing I have a boy of six any mom with boys will know immediately and exactly what happened, so I really didn’t have to ask for an explanation, but I just couldn’t resist. I walked to the back door and asked Pearce to get some shoes on because I had a question. His shoes were by the craft room door, and he said he would meet me out there. I went back and stood feet apart, hands resting on my hips, looking up at the roof. I heard Pearce make his way around the corner of the house, and when I looked down, his feet were apart, his hands were resting on his hips, and he was looking up at the roof. Then he looked at me and grinned that grin – Thank you, God, he’s so cute.

“Pearce, can you explain how that got up there?”

       “You see that whistle there?” We both looked up and saw the neon orange whistle.

       “Yes,” I said looking down into his precious, little, grinning face.

        “I was tryin’ to get it off the roof, and the other stuff got stuck.” I lost it. I cracked up laughin’. Do you realize that I didn’t ask how the whistle got on the roof? It’s like with attorneys, they don’t ask the questions they don’t want to know the answers too. For all I know, Pearce had lassoed a squirrel who deposited it on the roof. Plus, the point is rather irrelevant anyway. The point is the whistle was on the roof, and he was using all his ingenuity to get it down.

I’m not sure what caused him to give up on getting the whistle, but as I see it, he tried at least seven times to get that whistle down. Seven – the number of completion.

How many times do we see things just out of our reach, and we do so many tricks and stunts to get it into our grip only to lose everything trying to get that one thing. I wonder does God ever look down at us and think, “Thank goodness I made you so cute.” Does he ever grin or crack up laughing at our outrageous stunts or feats? Some things are just better kept out of our reach. We may not understand why, but our Father does. And sometimes we just have to trust that He knows best. Do you trust Him?

Is Still Grinning – Oh the Boy!

2011-06-03T19:43:00.002-05:00

For those who are the parent of a boy, you will understand and see the humor in this post. For those who do not parent a boy, you may read this post and wonder, "What in the world!?" Such is the life I lead as the mother to a six-year-old, 100% boy.
I am one of those moms. I do not believe in plugging my kids into video games or the TV. I believe it stifles their imaginations, creativity and makes a child fat and lazy. My kids get to watch tv, but it is limited. They have the DSI, but the time they spend playing it is very minimal. I say this to preface the rest of this post. You see, while my daughter is creatively playing school in her room in the air conditioning because she does not like to sweat, my son is having wonderful adventures outside.
Every boy needs to live in a place where he can live and breathe the open air, where he can explore God's creation, and pretend and plan his domination of the world. That being said if you leave anything of value or in working order within their domain you run the risk of it being disassembled and/or utilized for a different purpose. My son has found paint before and painted the side of a boat we didn't own, a fence and other items outside the house including the brick on the outside of the house. His inventions can be found hidden in the dog kennel that is no longer used – I am not nearly creative enough to come up with a name for them or their purpose. Let's just suffice it to say, Pearce has used them all at some point in time to save the universe.
The most recent utilization of an adult tool was the pick ax…yes, the pick ax. I had purchased some hydrangeas, and I had planted all but two of them. There was a problem with the hole for those two. There was a massive root running through the middle of it. Pearce and I tried using our shovels. Yes, he has his own shovel and tool set. Doesn't every man-child? We couldn't break them. Then we tried to set the root on fire. That didn't work. Then before Patrick left, he laid out a different kind of shovel and a pick ax. The pick ax was the ticket. It worked, and I was able to tear the stubborn root out of the hole. The hydrangeas were planted, and the tools were laid against the house. I will not step foot in Patrick's workshop for MANY reasons.
This week in one of Pearce's many adventures that involved my good ice chest, a mop, and some other ordinary household items, he decides to use the pick ax. I'm just thankful he didn't pick his foot. That would have just been a bloody mess! I'm not sure the target at which he was aiming, but he managed to hit my new, thick, water hose. He came into the house and explained that the hose had a hole in it. Like it spontaneously ruptured. "Pearce, how did it happen?" "It just popped open."

Being the trained investigator that I am and knowing he is untrained in the skill of lying, I went outside to find the pick ax laying beside said hole in the hose. Sometimes, you just can't help but grin. It completely explained why when he came in he was quite wet. Apparently, the hose was ON when said hole popped into existence. I would have LOVED to seen the look on his face when it happened.Tonight was my first experience with my newly, altered water hose. I turned the water on, and the water started shooting up out in two different ways. Apparently, young master Pearce had hit that hose TWICE! I'm still grinning. I pick up the handle and squeeze – barely a stream of water flows from the head, and it eventually ceases flowing period because all the water is coming out in opposite directions from the pick ax holes.

So, what does a mom of a boy do? You go down to the hole, pick up the hose and start watering your plants two at a time instead of the one at a time the way I used to do using the handle. Yes, I'm still grinning.

Shophet, Melek and Ish – Not Just Any Old Names

2011-05-29T14:07:00.002-05:00

I just finished my previous blog and confessing the sin of which the Holy Spirit was convicting me and disciplining me when I turned my attentions to study for Sunday's lesson. Apparently, I'm spiritually challenged because there He was again confronting me – Don't you just love it when He does that?!
We are studying the different names of God. (After this week, we'll be taking a short hiatus because the pastor has asked that we study an awesome book that the women's ministry team reviewed a few months ago. It is going to be phenomenal and challenging. I can't wait!)
There was a name that drew my attention Shophet – Judge. Ann Spangler said when we pray to Shophet, we acknowledge "he is the only one competent to measure the motivations of our heart." "When we pray to God our Shophet (sho-PHAIT), we are praying to the one whose righteousness demands perfect justice but who has also provided a way for us to be acquitted of our guilt" (101).

"As all knowledge is from God, no doubt he knows all the thoughts of the children of men, and knows that the imaginations of the thoughts of men's hearts are only evil, and that continually. Even in good thoughts there is a want of being fixed, which may be called vanity. It concerns us to keep a strict watch over our thoughts, because God takes particular notice of them. Thoughts are words to God." Matthew Henry Concise Bible Commentary on www.mystudybible.com
Yes, that walked all over my toes and then kicked me in the shin! My mind is a battlefield.

If you think you don't have an issue with vanity, just ask God, if you dare.
Psalm 94…"The Lord knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile." Our thoughts of self-importance, our thought-life in general are futile. Why? Because He is God, and he is in control. "Blessed is the man you discipline, O Lord, the man you teach from your law; you grant him relief from days of trouble, till a pit is dug for the wicked." It may not feel like a blessing when He disciplines you, but it's better than Him allowing us to go astray and fall into the pit dug for the wicket. Wouldn't you agree?
Then I went to the name Melek – King. We are promised that one day He will come again in all His majesty and glory, and He will rule. As a daughter of the King of Kings, even though I am flawed, I can boldly go before my Father's throne (Hebrews :16) knowing my sin, my past is covered by a trail of blood. I can stand forgiven.
To stand in front of God as being forgiven is HUGE! Another name for God is Ish – husband. Ann Spangler said when we pray calling on the name of Ish, we are praying to "the one who provides and protects his people and who refuses to divorce us no matter how unfaithful we may be"(87). I don't know of any Christian who hasn't been unfaithful to God at some point in time in their lives. God saw the children of Israel in Hosea as being adulterous. I have been adulterous to God in my faith. We, as the church, are His bride, and ladies, we have soiled our wedding dress.

We should be ashamed at the condition the body of Christ is in. We should be embarrassed by the behavior of God's bride. Whether it is our thoughts, our words or our actions that take us away from God, it is still separation. It is time that the body of Christ acts like Christ, get off of our behinds, and be the hands and feet He designed us to be serving Him, serving others. I encourage you to repent. There's another Great Awakening coming to the body of Christ. It's coming. The bride is going to get ready to meet her groom. The body of Christ is going to behave and do the things we should – feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, serving the homeless. Don't miss it because it's going to be quite a ride.

Living Life in Limbo – Transitional Thursdays

2011-05-26T20:32:00.001-05:00

Okay, so we know that life is always changing, but isn't it nice to have some things that are consistently reliable like cell service, internet connection…you know, just the mundane things in life. I have to confess I've been in a gripey kind of mood lately. I haven't wanted to read my books for seminary for which there are five – thank you very much. I haven't wanted to be at work – almost like, what's the point? I didn't even want to go to church last night – so not like me. Do you ever get that way where griping flows out of your mouth like a fountain instead of words of life? That's where I've been.

I didn't want to go to church last night, but I did, and it was wonderful. God is bringing a movement to the leadership in my church that has been on my heart for a good year and a half. It is so exciting to see it coming to fruition. During the time set aside for praying for these new ministering-outside-the-wall experiences, the Holy Spirit began convicting me. I was expecting to be encouraged, but NO! He was convicting me of my pride, my vanity, my self-centeredness. How can someone like me ever possible do ministry full time? I'm a mess! I confessed my sin and apologized for making things about myself instead of making it about God and His will and His timing. I apologized for my hurt feelings because hurt feelings in this instance meant that I had tried to put myself somewhere where I obviously didn't belong. Then I began praying for the ministry opportunities.

God's ways are higher than our ways. When I was expecting encouragement, He gave me discipline. God's thoughts and plans are much better than my own. While He has called me to ministry and to seminary, He has yet to show me where and when He's going to open that position up for me…Do you hear my foot tapping? Yeah, like that impresses God or gets Him to move more quickly – NOT! The bottom line is that I have to trust that He will open the doors to where He wants me to serve when He's good and ready. I have to continue on even when I don't feel like it. I have to commit to the course set before me and do all as unto the Lord – I have to admit, I haven't been doing that lately either using plenty of excuses to try to cover my deficiencies. And here's another thing, while it may feel like my life is in limbo – career being moved to another location, husband working out of town for an extended period of time, unsure of where God is going to put me to serve, etc., etc – my life is not and has never been in limbo. He holds my future in His hands. He ordains my footsteps. He has already made a way, and I just have to obey and wait (gross).

Fortunately, He knows me well enough to know that I will fail, that I will need discipline and direction. He knows I will require redemption and forgiveness on more than one occasion. But thankfully, when He sees me, He sees His precious daughter. And when He looks at my imperfection, He only sees a trail of blood, Christ's blood, covering all my iniquities and short comings and bad attitudes.

I love the words to a song, "My chains are gone. I've been set free. My God, my Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood, His mercy rains. Unending love. Amazing Grace." So, I will continue to shirk off this funk, these feelings and negativity until I have realized the freedom there is in waiting on Him, and I will continue to put one foot in front of the other towards the goal He has set before me. AND, I will trust Him because I know above all else that my life is in His hands.

TRANSITIONAL THURSDAY – They Took Our Sign!

2011-05-19T18:34:00.001-05:00

For the past few months I've been blogging off and on about how you know your office is closing – here's your sign. Well, today, they took the company name off of our building, AND they fixed the disposal that's been broken for a year. Some said it was writing on the wall, but maybe we should the writing ISN'T on the wall. The maintenance guy said this was all regular maintenance that should have been taken care of a long time ago and not related to the facility review. I don't think he really understood to whom he was speaking. He was trying to convince a group of Special Investigative claim reps – meaning, the most skeptical employees who question everything unless there are two independent sources to verify. Timing is everything.

Being the warped group that we are, we thought it was funny. We sent e-mails to our different bosses to let them know that we were confident that our office was closing because of what was going on. It spread like wildfire! We got calls from people from Arkansas, New Orleans, Oklahoma and Missouri within an hour wanting to know what was going on and what we had heard. Of course, we hadn't, but it's never far from our minds. I think most of us have gotten to the point that we are tired of being put off. At first it was the end of the first quarter, then the end of April, then the end of May, and they still don't have it together. It can be nerve-wracking. We all just want to know, so we can know how to plan for our future. I already know that I'll be looking for a job because even if I were to survive this round, I know we wouldn't survive the next round of cuts.

Not every transition is fraught with tension and stress though. My kids are transitioning into summer. They are looking forward to sleeping in, going to camp, spending time with their baby sitter, and going on trips, but most of all, they are thankful there is no homework during the summer. I too am grateful.

Life is about change. Some we anticipate with excitement, but some may cause anxiety. Either way, it's all in how you choose to look at it – can you find humor or are you going to focus on the sour? This is something in which you do have control.

Can Act Like a Two Year Old Throwing a Tempertantrum…Unfortunately

2011-05-17T22:10:00.001-05:00

I believe in being authentic. I want to be authentic, and for me being authentic means being transparent. How effective of a teacher of the Word of God can I be, if I'm not willing to show how God uses His grace and His mercy in my weaknesses. This means I have to be willing to expose my weaknesses and become vulnerable. It is not for my glory, but His that I lay before you my confession of a meltdown.

It's been at least three weeks since Patrick left, and this past weekend, the kids and I went to see him in W Memphis, Arkansas. We had a great trip up there. Erin had us rolling and had the truck drivers honking. Pearce counted eight in all, and his memory can be relied upon more than my own. I use him frequently to find my keys. He remembers EVERYTHING – that's the GOOD and the BAD. We had a great visit with Patrick and enjoyed some great family time. We drove the 5 ½ hours home without complaint.

My meltdown didn't happen until Monday morning. Looking at the dirty house that I didn't get to clean during the weekend, all the laundry left undone, and nothing laid out or prepared for the week – it just overwhelmed me. The kids couldn't find some of their things for school, and I just lost my ever-lovin' mind.

On the way to school in the mornings, we each take time to pray, and I begin. Well, this morning, God and my children got an earful. God, I am so tired. My house is dirty. I need to take the garbage to the dump. There are field trips and programs and graduation this week, and I am so exhausted. I can't do this anymore. I need help, and a little less attitude from my kids and obedience and respect. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I was a blithering mess. Then it was the kids turn to pray – How do you top that?

Even in my temper tantrum, God was listening. When I was whining and griping about conditions that are temporal, He heard me. He cared. I don't know when it happened, but I know who made it happen, but by the time we got home Monday afternoon, I had energy. We conquered some areas of the house and laundry. Is it completely clean? NO. The point is even when I'm acting like a worn-out, spoiled daughter of the King who is focusing solely on her own feelings and emotions that my Heavenly Father is working it out. He's providing generously. And after I apologized to my kids for my meltdown, I realized one good thing that did come of it is they got to hear their momma praying to her Father about the big things in life and the small things in life, and they were able to see the energy He provided. They know they can take anything to our Creator, the Lover of our Souls.

So, there it is. Meltdown recorded. God's grace once again to cover my sins, and His mercy is abundant to show me how He can provide and work it all out.

School is coming to an end, and there will be less stress in my household. Rest is surely on the horizon.

Calgon and the Good Shepherd

2011-05-14T10:12:00.001-05:00

"Parenting isn't for sissies," Dr. Dobson has said, and if you've ever had to single-parent for any amount of time, you'd also add that it's not for the "low in energy." This is the second time since becoming a parent of two children that I have had to single-parent. Patrick left in September of 2005 after Katrina and worked storm for about six month. We got to see him off and on throughout that time period. This time he is much closer, and the kids are older and into more things. The end of school year can be a brutal time being pulled to recitals, concerts, end of school year parties, field days, and field trips. Plus, we still have homework to contend with along with baseball and other duties. It is so easy to get overwhelmed. Shoot! It's easy to get overwhelmed when Patrick is home to share the load! I can't imagine being outnumbered (more kids than parents).

Isaiah 43:2, "I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you." I have a fear of drowning, and when I feel overwhelmed, it can be so suffocating. But we have a promise here that He does not leave us, and life will not overcome us. Do you know why? Because we are PRECIOUS! I tell my husband all the time that I'm too precious to sweat, and now I have biblical basis for my preciousness – check out Isaiah 43:4!

I don't know about you, but there are just times when I don't feel like I can handle one more thing. You know the saying, "The straw that broke the camel's back." I seek God for wisdom and guidance to know what to say "no" to and what to accept, and because He is my Shepherd, Yahweh Roi, He leads me. He is also the Good Shepherd, Poimen Kalos. Ann Spangler writes when you are praying to Yahweh Roi, "You are praying to the One who watches over you day and night, feeding you and leading you safely on the path of righteousness" (73). "When you pray to the Good Shepherd, you are admitting your need for his care and your confidence in his ability to watch over you and protect you" (235).

Have you ever just wanted a quiet, padded cell somewhere? Psalms 23, the Shepherd leads his sheep beside the still waters and makes them to lie down in green pastures. Sounds peaceful, doesn't? He gives us respite when we need it if we will accept it.

If you are feeling the pressures that come at the end of the school year, I encourage you to read and meditate on Psalm 23.

I apologize if this entry is a little disjointed, but it's hard to meditate in a travel trailer with two kids who would much rather be outside, but it's too cold. I'm looking for the green pastures! Calgon take me away!

He Knows Your Need -- Do you know His name?

2011-05-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

After going through three years of infertility, a failed adoption, and months of heart ache, we were blessed with a baby girl. Her birth was a miracle, and her story is for her to tell, but we know without a shadow of a doubt that God had a plan for her life starting the week she was conceived. The week after we brought her home from the hospital my mom would do the night feedings, so I could sleep. After she left, I hardly slept at all. My greatest fear was that God was going to take Erin from me, so every time she turned in her bassinette, every time she sniffed in the night, and any time she stretched, my eyes would pop wide open. When Erin started sleeping six hours right off the bat, I was awake watching her breathe, listening for her to stir. When you have waited so long for something, for someone so precious, you hold onto it with all your might, but there was no amount of my strength that could keep my daughter here if God chose to take her home. My heart was full of anxiety until I confessed my fear and my sin to my mom. I brought it out into the light, and I had to give my daughter to God and trust He knew what was best.

Abraham knew EXACTLY what I was feeling, and he prayed to Yahweh Yireh. In Genesis 22 God told Abraham he had to sacrifice Isaac, the son God had promised Abraham from whom his descendants would be too numerous to count. After receiving this word from God, Abraham had to travel THREE days with this knowledge. If you knew your child had three days to live, how would you carry that around? If you have ever had a child in the hospital, if you have ever feared for the life of your child – how does it feel to fear the death of your child? I’ll tell you I was anxious-ridden, stressed, tearful, and heavy-hearted. Then Isaac asks his father where the sacrifice was…God will provide, he says. God will provide – Yahweh Yireh. If a loved-one has been delivered from certain death, if God has spared the life of someone you hold dear, you know the elation Abraham must have felt when God provided the ram in the thicket and told Abraham to use it.

God tested Abraham. God does not tempt because tempting means He’s using evil means to lure you to Satan and that isn’t God. God tests His children to see where their loyalties lie, to see how deep their faith and trust are in Him, to see if you believe He is God and bigger than any problem you might have. When God asked you to make a sacrifice, how did you respond? He doesn’t ask you to do any more than He has done for you.

When God tested you and your faith? How did you do?

Ann Spangler writes, “When you pray to Yahweh Yireh, you are praying to the God who sees the situation beforehand and is able to provide for your needs” (28). Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary says, “Faith had taught him not to argue, but to obey. He is sure that what God commands is good; that what he promises cannot be broken.” What has your faith taught you? Where do you stand in your faith? Are you arguing with God when He tells you to make the sacrifice? OR do you trust Him with it all? Some people see putting their all in the hands of one person as a gamble, but when you put them in the hands of Yahweh Yireh, it is a guarantee that He can and will handle it all without dropping one thing.

We can have confidence that whatever trial we are going through, whatever difficulty is in our way that Yahweh Yireh already knows what we are going to need before we need it, and He is ready to supply our needs. What do you need Yahweh Yireh for today? What are you relying on Him to provide that only He can provide?

Somebody Is Watching

2011-05-08T10:00:00.001-05:00

She was running. What was she running from? What was she running to?

I don’t know about you, but in the month of May I feel like a chicken running around with my head cut off especially since I’m single parenting. Field trips, musicals, ball games, and end of the year parties fill my calendar. Graduations, summer planning, and visits to see daddy are being put on the calendar as well. Do you ever feel like you are living out of your car and that your children feel like fast food is a staple instead of an exception?

Some people are choosing to run from their past – past relationships, past mistakes, past choices…just the past in general. Some people are running to something they think is better or someone who is going to be more wonderful than who they have now. Some people are running and don’t have a clue where they are going.

The first name of God I want to study is a name given to Him by a woman on the run. She was running from a past she hadn’t chosen, but rather it had been inflicted upon her. She was running from her past mistake and choices of behavior – her sin. We aren’t sure exactly where she was running because she never gets there, but many assume she was running to a life of sin. She was also an expectant mom under stress. Her name – Hagar.

Just a little background on Hagar. In Genesis 15 God promised Abram he would be the father of a great nation, and with Abram and Sarai (his only wife) being quite old and getting older by the minute, Sarai took matters into her own hands. As if God didn’t have it under control! (And who hasn’t done that before?) Sarai told Abram to take her slave Hagar and have children. In that time, Sarai could have assumed the role of mother, but as we see instead of Hagar staying a slave, she was made his wife. When Hagar who through no choice of her own became pregnant with Abram’s son, she began to despise Sarai. What was Hagar’s choice was her behavior. She made Sarai’s life miserable rubbing the pregnancy in her face. Sarai ran to Abram and told him it was all his fault. Ain’t that just like us – poor Abram couldn’t win for losing! Abram returned Hagar to her servant status, and Sarai began to abuse her. This is the point in which Hagar ran.

For a moment put yourself in Hagar’s shoes. Humbly serving her mistress only to be taken by her husband and made a wife. Most likely Hagar would be considerably younger than Sarai…maybe even young enough to be her granddaughter. From servant to a place in her owner’s house – like an unexpected promotion with benefits. Once in her new position, she became proud and rubbed it in the face of the one who promoted her – not wise in any circumstance. Then Hagar was demoted to servant again where she was abused. Possibly in fear, resentment, or anger, she ran, and an angel found her near a pool in the dessert. In the middle of her stress, of her emotional roller coaster, of her storm-tossed life, God sends an angel. If God sent an angel to you right now in your life, what in the world would you be thinking and feeling!? Me? I’d probably be thinking, “I don’t have time for this,” or “I didn’t realize I was this close to a nervous breakdown.” When I get so busy running it’s easy for me to overlook things like my time with God. Sometimes He has to make His presence known in such a real way that we are set back on our haunches.

The angel says, “Hagar.” (He KNOWS her name like He KNOWS your name.) He says, “Hagar, slave of Sarai.” (He’s reminding her of her place in this life – OUCH!) “Where have you come from and where are you going?” Genesis 16:8 HCSB. He knows full good and well where she’s been and where she’s going, so why ask?

When we are running around willy-nilly, we lose sight of where we’ve been and where we’re going. The angel of the Lord sends Hagar back to Abram and Sarai with a blessing. Her son will be Ishamael (the founder of the Islamic faith), and her descendents will be too many to count. Sound like the promise God made to Abram, doesn’t it? But it’s not the same.

After receiving a blessing and having a conversation with the angel of the Lord, Hagar agrees to return, but before she does, she called God the name El Roi – the God Who Sees Me.

In all of your running last week and the weeks to come, in all the stressors of your life whether it is from decisions you’ve made or not, GOD SEES YOU. Ann Spangler writes, “When you pray to El Roi, you are praying to the one who knows EVERYTHING about you” (16). She found grace and mercy in the presence of the Lord. Some other verses you may want to look up and meditate on are Psalms 33:13-22, Psalms 121:3, 5-8, and Proverbs 15:3.

I hope you find comfort like I do in the fact that no matter how crazy and chaotic, stressful and nerve-wracking my life may become my God sees me for who I am, where I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going. AND He meets me where I am looking past my defenses and barriers. PLUS He loves me enough to return me back to the path to which He has called me.

Can you imagine the joy Hagar felt knowing that El Roi saw her for who she was, where she was and how she was? Maybe even relief.

When you pray to El Roi, thank Him for seeing you because in seeing you, you realize you are important to Him.

What Does Your Name Mean

2011-05-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

Mackenzie. Hailey. Madeleine. Baby names. It is a daunting task to name a baby, but my girlfriends would find out the gender of their babies and have them named in no time flat. As soon as a name was determined, my girlfriend would start calling the baby by his or her name, so when the baby arrived, the baby was that name. There was no doubt in the identity of that baby coming out of the shoot because he or she had been called that name for about four months. This is not true about people who adopt. My husband and I had boys names picked out for years because we were restricted to using the initials “W.P.M.” However, when we found out our first baby was going to be a girl, we had just a matter of a few weeks to negotiate. I had never known an “Erin” before, but I liked the name because it was common but not used. When I was in the fifth or sixth grade I had at least five Christy/Kristy/Christies in my class. Within the first year of her life, I told my mom I didn’t think I had named her the right name because it didn’t seem to stick…at all. I cried. But at 18 months, she started speaking in full sentences and hasn’t stopped. About that same time Pastor Rick was preaching on Moses and how Aaron was his mouth piece, and I thought, “Thank you, GOD! I did name her the right thing.” I tell her that her name means “gift of gab.” In all truth it’s an Irish name meaning “island” or “peace.” The male biblical name “Aaron” means teacher; mountain of strength according to http://christianity.about.com/od/christainbabyboynames/a/boynamesab.htm.

Names matter to a person. It distinguishes who they are in your life – “Momma, Daddy, Honey, Poppar, Sweet Pea, Boo.” Did you know that God has different names? He has titles. He has descriptions as to what He does. His names are important, and He wants you to know them. He wants you to know Him in that intimate, personal way in which you call on Him by His name. After all do you walk up to President Barak Obama and say, “Hey, Barak! What’s going on?” Trust me, if you got that close you’re about to be pounced on by the Secret Service, and they don’t play. But the point is you don’t know President Obama on such an intimate level that you would call him by his first name. But God, the Creator of the Universe, wants you to have the option of calling Him one of those sweet names.

I’m going through the book by Ann Spangler called The Names of God, and I’ll be pulling out several names over the next several weeks to teach to my small group. That means, this is what I’ll be posting on Sundays…after Sunday school, Deanna. (She likes to read it on the way to church, so when I would open up the discussion she was prepared to give my answers instead of what God was putting on her heart. Hahaha!)

I hope this peaks your interest like it has mine, and I can’t wait to get into it and dig.

Is Highlighting Several Moms – Are You One of These?

2011-05-02T20:31:00.001-05:00

Birth moms, surrogate moms, spiritual moms – You might think these are uncommon, rare or even odd to celebrate this weekend of Mother's Day, but I think they deserve recognition too. Both of my children are adopted. I keep in touch with one of these sweet women. Unfortunately, the other chose a closed adoption. I also have a sweet friend who has been a birth mom twice. These are women with immeasurable courage, sacrificial and self-less love, and a desire to truly see the best for their babies. No one has the right to judge them because you have not walked in their shoes, and most likely you couldn't handle the sacrifice these ladies have had to endure. While they may not raise these babies, they are responsible for allowing them to breathe their first breaths. They allowed a baby the opportunity to have a future when so many other women take what they think will be the easy-way out. Saturday is Birth-Mom Day, so thank you, and Happy Mother's Day.

Surrogate Moms – I am not so naïve to think that everyone on the face of the planet had a great mom like mine. I've had friends whose moms missed the mark, but I saw where God was faithful and brought women into their lives to serve as their Surrogate Moms. Some women have grown up with their mom for one reason or another, and yet God provided that special lady at just the right time to give guidance, love and wisdom only a mom can give. Surrogate moms might also be those women who have taught us how to be better moms ourselves. Surrogate moms step in where the heart leads. Surrogate moms know that this person needs to be loved on and that he/she may hurt her, but she's willing to risk it. Happy Mother's Day, Surrogate moms.

Spiritual Moms – These are the women who are brought into our lives to help grow us up in our faith. They teach us to put our big girl panties on and focus on the things that will last. They show us how to work through the hard things in life that a godly woman can. They teach us how to exercise grace, mercy and class. I've been blessed with many – Mrs. Powell (my 6^th grade Sunday school teacher), Phyllis Copp, Teri Cupples (Can't remember her married name right now to save my life!), Linda Chapman, Julie Choate. These women invested time in me from sixth grade on up. They challenged me, corrected me and gave me examples of what a godly woman looks like, acts like and sounds like. Thank you.

I challenge you to look back in your life and see what godly woman God put in your life just when you needed her. Have you thanked her? This weekend is a great time to do it.

Has Been Blessed with Healing & Restoration by the God of Ruth. FINAL DIGGING DEEPER BLOG SERIES

2011-05-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a relationship that drained you, that burned you out and that caused such damage to your heart that it would take years to work through and even longer from which to heal? Have you ever gone through such devastating events in your life that you felt spent, empty and wasted? You couldn’t possibly trust another person. Have you ever felt like you have been beaten up by the world, and you are just at the end of yourself…you can’t go on any further? Been there, done that. What I want to tell you as I sit here with tears running down my face is that our God is the Restorer, Iatros –Physician, Yahweh Rophe – the God who Heals. He is El Roi, the God who sees you. Our God is Ga-al, Lytron – THE REDEEMER! He is constantly at work restoring, rebuilding and healing, and sometimes it comes when we least expect it and in the most unexpected ways. We have hope because He is in control, and as we dig into the last chapter of Ruth, we will see how Naomi is restored and healed. We will find how God fills her up. We will see how God blesses Ruth for her humility, submission and obedience. We read how an honorable man makes it into the lineage of the most honorable of all. What a great way to end this book.

We are winding up our “Digging Deeper” lessons this week. Utilizing the skills we learned in order to dig deeper into God’s Word to get the meat, we have been going through the book of Ruth. Now, we are coming to the conclusion of Ruth 4. I hope you’ve enjoyed “Digging Deeper” with me. I have learned so much. Let’s see what we can get out of Ruth 4.

First of all at the end of Ruth 3, Boaz has a task at hand. He is a man on a mission. A young woman who is someone he can redeem wants him to marry her. Now what man in his right mind wouldn’t be struttin’ around like a proud rooster! Naomi told Ruth that Boaz will be so determined to settle the matter that it would be handled THAT day, and she was right.

Boaz goes to the gate where business is conducted and sees the first family redeemer. He calls him aside and then pulls in 10 elders to witness the conversation. This way the first family redeemer cannot come back on Boaz saying, “He stole my rights to buy this land and take Ruth as a wife.” Boaz lays out the most desirable information first…Elimelech’s land. Well of course he wants it! Boaz then says there is more. Their version of the Price Is Right – “By buying the land from Naomi, you’ve also won a nnnneeeewwwww wife!” Except in this instance, for the first redeemer it wasn’t like winning a new car. The first redeemer in front of the 10 elders says, “Then I cannot redeem it because I might endanger my own estate. You redeem it yourself. I cannot do it.” (vs 6) There could be any number of reasons why family redeemer number one didn’t take Ruth and the land:

1. He was selfish. He knew the baby and the land really wouldn’t belong to him or his children. He knew the baby she would have would be considered Elimelech’s heir and entitled to the land.

2. He may have already been married and didn’t want to have to deal with the fall-out with his other wives and children.

3. He may have seen the financial burden associated with redeeming the land and name

Regardless of his reasoning, HE MISSED OUT. He was willing to tarnish his name, become known as the “Family of the Unsandaled” (Dt 25:10), than take on a new wife and land. Not Boaz. He announced in front of the ten elders and the rest of the town that he would marry Ruth and buy the land. Boaz was a man of integrity – Oh that we would have more men like Boaz today! Then the elders gave blessing to Boaz – “May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel” (vs 11). What do you remember about Rachel and Leah? This would be a great time to chase a rabbit to see exactly what these men were talking about…look in Genesis 29:25-30 and Genesis 35:16-18. The blessing continues and another comparison is made, “May your house become like the house of Perez, the son Tamar bore to Judah because of the offspring the Lord will give you by this woman.” Once again, here is another opportunity to dig deeper. Check out Genesis 38.

Then what happens? What happens is Boaz and Ruth have a baby shortly after becoming married. They were able to conceive right after their wedding…something Ruth wasn’t able to do with her first husband to whom she was married for several years.

So, what did we learn about Ruth? For me, I learned the following:

1. God can change anyone if they are willing. Ruth seized and embraced the Naomi’s God.

2. God will discipline those He loves. He will allow us to run to the end our rope where we are empty, and there is nothing left of ourselves. Then the harvest begins (End of chapter 1). When we are empty and can do nothing more, God says, “Good. Let’s get started.”

3. Our reputations go before us, and our character and reputation stand for us in our absence. Boaz and his field hand talked about Ruth before he had even met her. What does your reputation and character say about you? Do they say you are a gossip or are a critical person, back biter? Do they say you are a hard worker, a provider?

4. God places godly women in our lives to give us instruction, wisdom and guidance. Are you willing to humble yourself and accept their instruction, or does your pride stand in the way? Pride is not a sign of intelligence by the way.

5. God is in control and is our provider. He led Ruth to Boaz’s field knowing Boaz was generous.

6. God is a restorer – what God takes away, He replaces with something much better. The women told Naomi that Ruth was better than SEVEN sons. He gave Ruth a godly husband in Boaz.

7. God chose a woman who initially came from a people of unbelievers who were wicked to father a child in the lineage of David and His only Son. God can truly use anyone.

8. God restored Naomi from being bitter and empty at the end of chapter 1 to being fulfilled and blessed by the end of chapter 4.

There are more things that I learned, but I’m interested in knowing what you learned.

Transitional Thursdays – An Immediate Change Effective Thursday

2011-04-27T19:23:00.001-05:00

As if we don't have enough changes to anticipate, let's throw an IMMEDIATE change effective Thursday. Patrick leaves tomorrow to work storm damage in Arkansas. I will be single-parenting it through the end of the school year. It's nice that he will be working close by, so we can go and see him occasionally. The last time he was called to work storm was when Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita. Pearce was barely a year old. He doesn't remember it, but HE WILL remember it this time. Patrick has promised a special prize for each of the kids when his job is done.

Oh, yeah, and I have another "sign you know your office is closing." You know your office is closing when you go into the office, and you have no connectivity for the computers. Yep, went in this morning, and the computers would not connect. SOOOOO, I loaded up my gear and worked from home. Apparently the storm knocked out our business connection, and it doesn't appear they will have it corrected maybe by Friday…I AM NOT COMPLAINING.

The storms last night were horrific. Wave after wave of storms. Tornado sightings and warnings in multiple parishes – for those who don't live in Louisiana, we have parishes not counties. Lightning, hail, wind-blown rain so heavy you wouldn't be able to see a tornado until it was on top of you, thunder, and wind – it's what we call "spring" in the south. It was a tumultuous night with little sleep. Families huddled in closets or hallways covered in pillows flanked by flash lights and weather radios. Such demonstrative power of an Almighty God who wasn't even putting forth any effort is mind-blowing. If my God can whip up a storm like that without breaking a sweat, He most assuredly can handle last minute transitions. (BTW, they aren't "last minute" to Him.) He can handle big transitions and small glitches in our day like computer failure.

Whatever you are going through, God is bigger. Whatever you are struggling underneath the weight of, He is stronger. Whatever fear you are facing, He has never dropped anyone, and no one or nothing can pry you out of His hands. Your name is engraved in the palm of His hand. He's got this! He's got you!

…What to do

2011-04-24T14:55:00.003-05:00

What do you do when your child has a heart for missions at an early age?

I remember being afraid that God would call me to missions and send me far away…like to Africa. I was afraid that I would never see my family again if God called me to missions.

My daughter doesn't have that fear. God has given her a gift of mercy and compassion, so when the opportunity presented itself for her to go to a mission trip in El Salvador, she applied. She filled out the form herself. It will cost her $1,000.00, to go. I will be going as well because she can't travel by herself to a foreign country.

In order for to raise money, Erin is making bracelets to sell. If you drink cokes out of the can, would you please save the pop tops and send them to Erin? She will use these to make the bracelets to sell. I've posted some pictures of the bracelets. She is going to sell them for $2.00. If you would like to buy one, I know she would appreciate it. If you can do neither, we would definitely appreciate your prayers leading up to the trip, during the trip and for a safe return.

It really wouldn't surprise me if at some time in the future if she didn't do this on a regular basis. She has such a heart for God and for telling others.

So, what do I do when my child has a heart for missions? I'm doing everything in my power to make sure her passion doesn't die. I want her heart to stay open to all the possibilities God has for her.

TRANSITIONAL Thursdays

2011-04-21T09:22:00.001-05:00

The last I wrote on my company’s transition, I wrote about things that we found to laugh at. Sometime after I arrived at the office, I went to the break room, and on the way, I noticed THE CLOCK. The clock that had been stopped at 9:40 AM for several weeks now was working and showed 8:25 AM! What am I supposed to do with that? I messaged my boss with the confusing sign, and his quick response was, “You’re living on borrowed time. Someone borrowed a battery.” I thought that was pretty funny. Then I pointed it out to one of my colleagues, and he said he had climbed up there and changed it. He said he was going to “Show the man, we aren’t going down without a fight.” Hahahaha!!!! I thought that was funny. Now the interior door wouldn't scan our ID badges...it has since been fixed, but before hand, my boss called dibs on my stapler. I explained someone had already absconded with said stapler and that I was heavily considering booby trapping my chair!

We saw the maintenance man had come up from Baton Rouge, that he was cleaning out the drive-in with a power washer, and had the floor plans for the office. The scheming began. We know our office is closing. There’s no denying it. It’s just a matter of whether or not we will have jobs here or who is going to be moving away. The last time we had a “transition” was about six years ago. A lot of people moved from Monroe to Baton Rouge, and now they may be having to move again.

I know that if my position survives being placed here this go around that it won’t be the next go around. Things are always changing.

So, what do you do when things are uncertain? Where do you turn? What do you do when you stress?

At this point, I choose to use humor. We’ll see what I choose the closer it gets to my looking for a job.

Truth is life is just one transition after another: it’s just some transitions are bigger or more difficult than others. I had to transition into being a parent, and then again to being the mom of two. My body transitioned into some stage shortly after turning 30 and my metabolism changed. My body is transitioning now – I’m known for having my own personal summers at times. We go through different transitions in relationships. Truth is as much as I’d like a nice, dull rut to lie down in and stay for a while, I don’t know one soul who has a stagnant, non-changing life. It’s how you handle transition. What PERSPECTIVE do you choose to view life through? Perspective tells people A LOT about your faith – in case you don’t know. It shows whether or not you’ve matured or are in the process of maturing in your faith and trust in God. OR it can show your immaturity…blush.

So for now, I choose humor. I choose to trust that God has this thing covered and taken care of. What about you?

Is Loving Her Family Redeemer -- Digging Deeper

2011-04-17T10:00:00.002-05:00

“An article in National Geographic several years ago provided a penetrating picture of God's wings...

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.

When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.

The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.

When the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of her wings would live.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge" (Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember the One who loves you and then, be different because of it.”

When I was teaching last week on Ruth 2 and read verse 12, my mind immediately skipped to this story. I remember it because of how poignant it is. It paints such a vivid picture of what that momma bird was willing to do to protect her babies, and then how it connects the wings of God to our protection just overwhelmed me. Now again in Ruth 3, Boaz – the family redeemer – is connected with Ruth’s protection. In Ruth 3:9, Ruth asks Boaz to cover her. This act of Ruth was not one out of desperation. It was not an act of a woman with loose morals. She had created for herself a good reputation in a foreign town. By Ruth lying at the feet of Boaz, she was asking him to marry her which was totally acceptable since he was her family redeemer (Dt 25:5-10). As a matter of fact, God used these as an analogy when talking about the children of Israel in Ezk 16:8. Boaz, her family redeemer, took great care of Ruth. He spoke highly of her. He cherished her. He protected her from the things that could harm her. Ladies, if you or your daughter is dating, pray for a Boaz!

Ruth was willing to lay herself at the feet of her family redeemer. Can we do anything less than to lay ourselves down at the feet of our Redeemer, Jesus Christ? He is the Redeemer in whom we seek refuge. He is the Redeemer who “will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge” (Psalms 91:4). He is the Redeemer who wants to protect you from the harshness and evil in this world. Jesus Christ is your Family Redeemer – Have you laid yourself at the feet of Jesus? Jesus Christ knows what it is like to have the flames of hell lick at his body then taste of death only to conquer it on Easter morning. Is there any other who is like my Savior? My REDEEMER LIVES! Hallelujah, my Redeemer Lives!

Has to Have a Sense of Humor During the "Transition"

2011-04-15T10:31:00.002-05:00

I've never been good at waiting. Never been good at that "p" word -- patience, and I thank you very kindly not to pray that I might have patience! But waiting is what I've been doing since the end of last year regarding my job. I've also been waiting even longer on some other things in life, but God's timing isn't mine, and that is a subject for another blog.

If you've never lived through a "down-sizing," "re-organization," or "transition" with your employer, count yourself blessed. We were told at the end of last year to expect information about our "transition" by the end of the first quarter. Now we are being told end of May. Patrick and I are considering our options. One may include my possibly wearing a gun at some point. (That alone should make enough people sweat and pray to God that doesn't happen! My momma will be leading that prayer group. HAHAHA) The other is possibly at some point moving to the Austin area. Truth is, we have no idea what God has in store, and probably if we did, it might scare us sense-less. Although, Austin wouldn't be bad...loved living down there. But in the meantime, our lives are in a holding pattern of sorts.

It's good to have a sense of humor when going through this type of situation. My boss and I banter regularly about the "signs." The "signs" that your office is going to close as a result of the transition. So, HERE'S YOUR SIGN:

       1. About two months ago, they removed the snack vending machine from our office and haven't
           replaced it. That's a sign they are closing your office.

       2. About one month ago, they removed the drink machine and haven't replaced it. That's a sign they
          are closing your office.

       3. A few weeks ago, the battery in the clock on the wall died, and the clock is stuck at 9:40
          until the office closes. That's a sign they are closing your office.

       4. Last week an office was told to stop using the shredder bends, and there would be someone
          coming around to collect. That's a sign they are closing your office.

      We are now waiting to see if they replace the empty toilet paper tubes in the restrooms, AND there are wagers going on how long it will be before the copiers and printers are gone. We've been told our desktop printers will be removed probably within the next month. We don't even dare ask for supplies! But I draw the line at the air conditioning. In case you didn't know, I'm too precious to sweat!

Faith is being sure of what you hope for sight unseen. We don't hope for the things we already have. Keeping your eyes on the goal helps to keep life in perspective. Knowing that God provided this job before I even knew it existed and before I even knew I would need it, I trust that God will do the same again. I choose to believe that God is already preparing my next job for me whatever that is, where ever that is, doing whatever He desires for His kingdom's sake. Does this mean that things won't get tight or stressful? NO! In this world we will have troubles. I just choose to believe that He's got this, and to be able to laugh at whatever I can is a healthy thing because who knows, I may be saying, "Welcome to Walmart," or "Do you want fries with your shake, baby?" Whatever I do, I hope it is to His glory. May He find me faithful.

Character -- Digging Deeper

2011-04-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

Appearances can be quite deceiving. You’ve heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by the cover.” I suggest you shouldn’t judge a person by their external appearance either. Many a man has underestimated me. When I first started in my field there were not many women who had fraud investigating as a profession. I’m probably the second generation of women in my field, and when I started I was by far one of the youngest. When I would show up at body shops or I would take statements from the perpetrators, it was blatantly obvious they thought I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. I’d let them spin their tales giving me all the details they wanted, and then it was my turn. I assure you when we parted ways there was no misunderstanding of where they stood with me and what I was capable of. Right is right, and a lie is a lie. I always wondered how God would use the choleric temperament He gave me. I wondered how He would use the gifts of prophecy and discernment He provided me. I wondered how He would use different hardships in my life, the gifts and talents He supplied to make me into someone worthwhile. He shaped my character by the hardships. He molded my perspective and skills with the gifts and talents, and the result is a character that I hope edifies Him. Thankfully, He’s still working on me.

Character is something you do or who you are when no one is looking, and the book of Ruth has characters of such quality. It’s interesting to me to see how Ruth’s character develops. I love seeing the hand of God working in and out of each situation. This is a great book. I can’t wait to see what happens next. Remember, we are reading this as if it was our first time. We don’t know what to expect, so let’s get started digging deeper!

Chapter one ended with a beginning. Isn’t that just like God? When we come to the end of ourselves, He see the place where He can begin doing a mighty work in our lives. I love that about Him. “It was the beginning of the barley harvest.”

Chapter two introduces us to Boaz and gives us some contrast with Ruth. He was an Israelite. She was a Moabite. He was a man of wealth. She was poor. Opposites attract.

In Ruth 2 we get to see the heart of Ruth’s character. She sees Naomi as her mother. She submits, obeys and tends to her. Makes me wonder if we are raising our children to be this way? Is the next generation of adults coming up able to submit? Ruth asks permission to go work and to provide for them the best way possible. Naomi gives her blessing. Ruth is a worker -- not a complainer, not a griper.

Boaz arrives on the scene. Being the wealthy man he is, you may or may not expect to see him overseeing the fields during the harvest, but it is how he treats his reapers that caught my attention. He greets them in the name of the Lord, and they return in kind. But then, Boaz knowing all of his workers recognizes someone who is not one of his reapers. He inquires of the foreman who she is.

Our reputations as Christians stand up for us in our absence or when we cannot defend ourselves. What does your reputation say about your character? For Ruth, Boaz learns about her devotion to her mother-in-law and about her being a hard worker – all of this from the foreman. Boaz calls to Ruth and gives her instruction about reaping and getting water from the vessels his men had brought up. Ruth’s character – humility. She falls to the ground and asks why is he giving such favor to her. Boaz knows God is going to reward Ruth for her commitment to Naomi.

Boaz makes sure that Ruth is fed and has water to restore her. He doesn’t give to her a small portion, and she isn’t greedy with what she is given. She eats enough to sustain her and keeps the rest to give to Naomi. In a country with people who are given to excess, we could all learn from Ruth and her appetite – she ate to sustain and provided for her mother-in-law.

Ruth was allowed to harvest in the fields with the reapers. She no longer had to wait behind and pick up what was left over. That to me is grace. The grace God gives us isn’t what is left over. What are we giving Him? I also see it as God’s providence. God used Boaz to provide for Ruth and Naomi.

After work, Ruth carried her sheaves to town, and then went home to Naomi. She didn’t go out with the other workers. She didn’t carry on longer than what was required to get the work done. Interesting.

Next we read a conversation Ruth and Naomi have. Naomi knows Boaz as one of the family redeemers – not THE family redeemer. The family redeemer is one who can restore a family member. He can marry the widow of a family member to keep the lineage going. He can purchase land that is sold by a family member during hard times. SO, my question is this. If Naomi knew there was more than one family redeemer, then why did she try to get both of her daughters-in-law to return to their own families? There was a way for them to marry and have children. One possibility is she simply forgot about them – it had been over 10 years since she was in Bethlehem. But I wonder if there was another reason.

Then my mind goes to “family redeemer.” Boaz gave Ruth food to live on and water to sustain her. Jesus us gives us bread (His body) and living water. Jesus is our family redeemer. He redeems what we’ve enslaved or endowed to someone else during our hardest of times and in our weakest of moments. He purchased my soul in order to redeem me into the family of God. Makes me so thankful I have a redeemer who sees every hardship and heart ache I’ve ever tasted and known, and chooses to restore me completely and redeem me in the eyes of my heavenly Father!

Please enjoy this song by Nicole C. Mullins. Makes me cry every time and raise my hands thanking God for being my living redeemer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpCaNBhK4S0

Has Some Details about My Job as a Fraud Claim Rep

2011-04-07T16:43:00.001-05:00

Today was like sprinting a marathon, and sprinting just isn't something you do in a marathon. WHY? Cause you will pass smooth out! I'm teetering there myself.

I have several projects working right now. One project is for the whole zone – five states. I'm the point person. It is all filtered through my hands and my mind for me to analyze, dig, connect and get after. (hehehehe) My boss put me on this particular project because he says I'm meaner than a snake. I choose to think that I'm highly effective at lighting fires under the behinds of unscrupulous people, but that's my opinion.

This morning I had an early morning conference call regarding a staged accident ring I'm working. Have you heard that everyone is only separate by 6 degrees? Well, this group is separated only by two or three. One of our attorneys this morning was taking the deposition of one of these fine individuals and ended up getting a confession. WOOHOO! If you've never gotten a confession, it is a real high, and it's really just the beginning of the fun stuff. The confessor told our attorney that there was never any impact, that the damage on her car was there previously, that she needed money and this lady told her how to do it. She connected one of the ring leaders to some other parties of interest. Not only that, but she brought her BFF to the deposition, and she is directly linked to a DIFFERENT group inside this ring. Needless to say, we had to make rush referrals to the NICB (National Insurance Crime Bureau) and the DOI (Department of Insurance). We found out that LSP (Louisiana State Police) are going to interrogate her tomorrow. And if the song "Bad Boys" is playing through your mind change the words to "Bad Girls" – the attorney, the LSP and me. (We all be girls!)

During her deposition, this woman also confessed that she and all the passengers in her vehicle were seen by this same doctor in 10 MINUTES! We were billed for much more – NOW THE RING HAS THE POTENTIAL TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY!

Can you tell I love my job? I do. I have since the first day I came into the Special Investigative Unit. It stretches me. It challenges me. It's never boring! While we may see the same people over and over again, it's rarely the same exact situation over and over.

With all of the talk about offices closing, it makes me very sad to think that my career in this field could be coming to an end. VERY SAD! For me, it's an adrenaline rush at times. But, if they choose to move my position somewhere else then I know that God will provide. He provided this job for me before I knew it existed (and you see how much I love it), and He will provide the next. If I love this job, then He will provide me something that will utilize the strengths, talents and gifts He has given me…and who knows, He may give me a job utilizing my new knowledge. I'll have my basic and advanced Women's Ministry certificate by December 2011. (I'll still have more to go on my Master's, of course.)

God knows I need some flexibility and health coverage. He knows what I need to make in order to pay the bills. God knows. He will take care of me and my family.

I read a quote today that I really like and really needed: "Obstacles are object lessons for your faith – they cannot prevent what God has promised you." Sometimes PEOPLE are the obstacles. You know what God has called you to do, but some just haven't gotten on board. Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." I know what God has called me to do. I also know the gifts and talents He has given me. Now, all I have to do is wait and trust him to work it all out for my good because I love him (Romans 8:28), and I'm his daughter. Every good and perfect gift comes from my heavenly Father (James 1:17). I can't wait to see what He surprises me with next. I love surprises even though the suspense just kills me sometimes.

So, you might be wondering what happens next with my ring that is blowing wide apart. Well, let's just say the LSP will get all the documentation we can provide them in order to go after those suckers. We will request restitution, and hopefully it will be awarded. Depending on what we find with the medical provider, he could possibly go to jail, as well as, the people who staged the accidents. You know, "Be sure your sins will find you out? (Num 32:23). Even if I don't get them, God will. He always does. He's good like that.

Has Been Punished in My Lifetime -- Digging Deeper

2011-04-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

I don’t remember how old I was, but it is an event that is etched in my memory. I don’t remember the events leading up to it, but I remember standing beside my dad in their bedroom with my mom standing by. He bent me over and spanked me three times…spank-spank-spank. He stood me up and with tears running down my face. He said, “Apologize to your mother.” To which I responded, “No sir, I will not.” He bent me back over and spanked me three more times…spank-spank-spank. He stood me back up; I’m crying; she’s crying. “Apologize to your mother.” “No sir, I will not.” Bent me back down and spanked me three more times…spank-spank-spank. I stand up. I’m crying. She’s crying. He’s crying. “Apologize to your mother.” “I’m sorry!” I turned and storm to my room. I tell people in my home there were two books that were read, high-lighted, underlined and notes made in the margin – the Bible and Dr. Dobson’s Parenting the Strong Willed Child. No one I know likes punishment, and trust me, whatever I had done, I had worked my way up to a spanking. And after every spanking my parents would assure me that they loved me. It was never done in anger.

Our faithwork this week was to read Ruth 1, to study it, to meditate on verse – basically apply everything we’ve learned so far in how to dig deeper. You may be wondering how my story applies to Ruth 1, but hang with me. During my digging into the first verse of Ruth 1 I discovered “the time of the judges” was a time when people did whatever they pretty much wanted. The children of Israel were running amuck yet again. Because of their disobedience and lack of submission God had to punish them and brought about a famine. Elimelech and Naomi lived in Judah at this time, and Elimelech decided to take his family and flee. It doesn’t say that God spoke to him or gave him a vision to take his family elsewhere (like God did with Abraham). Elimelech did this on his own. His own choice. He made it thinking he would spare his family, but in the end, it ended up costing his family.

While in the foreign land, Elimelech died. Naomi’s sons married Moabite women, but in the time they were married, they didn’t have any children. Then Naomi’s sons died.

When I read this passage creatively, I read it from Naomi’s perspective. She was full of life and hope for the future when they fled the famine, and everything she held most dear was taken away from her in a matter of 10 years. How empty she must have felt. Maybe depressed. Angry at God at times. Devastated. Somehow Naomi hears the famine is over and decides to return home. Isn’t that where we often want to go when things can’t seem to get any worse is home? Crawl up in the bed and not get out for days? As Naomi and her two daughter-in-laws are walking back, Naomi decides it is better for the two women to return to their own people. This way they would at least have a chance at a future because Naomi’s future was sealed – she would now be a beggar or among the poorest of the poor with no husband and no children. In her brokenness and emptiness she blesses the two women – this may have been one of the reasons that her daughter-in-laws felt such devotion to Naomi. Naomi gave of herself even when it seemed she had nothing left to give. Orpah relented and returned. Ruth, however, did not. Ruth’s covenant to Naomi is what we often hear in weddings, “Where you go, I will go.” This covenant of Ruth’s was powerful and firm. She would not be dissuaded.

When Naomi returned to Judah, her hometown, the Bible says the whole town was stirred up. “Can this be Naomi?” Think about it. When Naomi left she was married and possessed things. She returns without a husband or sons but has a Moabite woman as a traveling companion. In the matter of ten years she has suffered three deaths, three grieving periods. This alone can age a woman. Some eat when they grieve. Some don’t. Either way it transforms the appearance.

When Naomi confirms her identity she tells them to call her “Mara” which means “bitter.” That made me wonder what “Naomi” meant – “pleasant.” Along this ten year journey Naomi had turned her anger inward and into bitterness. She left Judah full and happy, but God brought her back empty, and she chose to be bitter – read that again. OUCH!

Just when Naomi thinks she has had enough, and she’s ready to give in and give up, we read in the last verse of the chapter that it is really a beginning – “as the barley harvest was beginning.”

When we are at our rock bottom, when we feel destitute and full of despair, when we feel empty that isn’t the end. It’s a beginning. Journey with me into Ruth to see what comes next. You see, just like my parents came to love on me after I was disciplined, God comes alongside Ruth and Naomi to love on them. I can’t wait!