Ominous Feeling...I Really Hate Those

I woke up one morning around 3 AM, and I realized there were tears streaming down my face. By the way, if I’m up at 3 AM, it’s because God woke me up. I don’t voluntarily wake up at that time. So, what I’ve learned to do is slip out of bed, go to my office, turn on my lamp with my Bible in hand, and I wait. So on this morning, I did that but this time I had tears cascading down my face before I even sat down in the chair. My heart was breaking, and God laid a person’s name on my heart, a person I hadn’t talked to in several years. My heart was so heavily burdened for her, and I had no idea why. There have been times God has led me to write letters to people about things I shouldn’t know about or understand, but this time I was being led to reach out by phone because she lived across country. When morning came, I told Patrick what had happened and that I felt I needed to call her, and he encouraged me to do so. About 10 AM I made the call. She answered. I told her what had happened to me in the wee hours of the morning and that I felt like I needed to check on her. There was silence on her end. When she found her voice, she told me she had given birth a couple of days prior, but the doctors wouldn’t let her bring her baby home because she had a hole in her heart. My heart was breaking because her momma’s heart was breaking for her baby.


Sometimes the Holy Spirit puts something or someone heavy on our hearts for a reason, for a purpose. Do you ever follow through on it? Do you ever check it out? God uses this to communicate to us and to help us function in the body of Christ to minister to others.

In Acts 20, Paul is telling some believers farewell and tells them he is headed to Jerusalem and that he doesn’t know what will happen to him. Paul believes he may die or be tortured because the Holy Spirit has been preparing him. That is one thing I love about God – He prepares you for what is down the road. Often times you just don’t realize it.

You know what I like and admire about Paul? The fact that even though the Holy Spirit had told him he would be imprisoned and undergo hardships (Acts 20:22-24) Paul didn’t run away. He did his best to prepare the disciples and brothers in the faith. He did his best to establish churches and correct teaching and doctrine, but when it was time to go to Jerusalem, he went. He was obedient.

To be honest, I hate having that ominous feeling. I have had one since the beginning of this year, but the Holy Spirit has shown me yet what it is concerning. What I do know is like Paul that whatever comes my way that I’m not going through it alone. God has gone before me preparing the way. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 42:16, I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Just like God led Paul through the trials and tribulations ahead in Acts, God will lead you through any hardship he leads you to. I just pray that I face whatever hardship and adversity that comes my way with the strength, class, dignity, and confidence Paul exhibited.

Reminds me of a childhood friend of mine who died this past year from breast cancer, she was bold in her faith, and everything she did and said was to bring glory to God because I think she knew she was going to see him before the rest of us.

So I encourage you to face whatever comes your way, head on knowing that if God is leading you to it, He’ll lead you through it.