My story is
a story of how dreams change over a lifetime.
Like any girl, growing up I wanted
to marry and have my own household, and for a very brief time I had that dream.
You see, my husband died after we had only been married for seven years. Seven very
short years. What happens next is really not important. I never remarried. Now
I’m so old the detail are a haze anyway. So, please forgive me if my mind is
hazy on the past. I am, after all, 106 years old, or somewhere thereabouts. My
once eternal youth beauty has been exchanged for gray hair and wrinkles. My
naiveness has given way to hard won wisdom. My will, well, my will has long
since come under the way of the Almighty.
There comes a time when a widow
comes to the realization that her true husband is Yahweh. He alone can protect
and provide. He’s the One I serve now, and I am content and happy in doing so.
The years of looking for a husband have long since gone. Yahweh’s the only One
I serve. I’m guessing somewhere in my sixties, I started coming to the Temple
daily and serving God. I figure if I’m still here on this earth, there’s a
reason, so I better be about my Father’s business. The Temple is my favorite
place to be. It’s my happy place. I love seeing people come with their
families. I love ministering to those in need, those who are discouraged, those
who just need a hug. I can be found here anytime night or day. Let’s face it,
when you get to be my age, we take frequent naps during the day, go to bed with
the birds and up with the rooster. Anytime I’m awake though, I’m at the Temple.
Some things you should know about me
is that my name means grace. My
daddy’s name was Phanuel. His name has an alternate - Penuel, which means face of God. Wouldn’t that be awesome to see the face of God!? I’ve
heard people of old having dreams and visions, but it’ been over 400 years
since God made His presence known. I have heard tell though that Zechariah saw
an angel or had a vision when he was in the Holy of Holies. I cannot tell you
how excited that made me. Then I’ve also heard that God sent an angel to a
young woman. I cannot wait to meet her, to hear what she was told. I pray for the day that I can hear her speak,
the truth she will say. I want God to move. I want to feel His presence, to see
a sign or something for myself. I know that’s selfish, but I’m an old lady give
me that one indulgence, okay?
My family and heritage
is important to me. I am of the tribe of Asher. It’s not a well-known tribe. No
one famous ever came from Asher. We don’t have any famous musicians, judges,
kings, rulers or warriors. Asher means fortune
or happiness. My tribe is
mentioned all throughout the Old Testament and is even in Revelations. You see,
my tribe started with Jacob’s eighth son was born to Zilpah (his concubine) because
Leah couldn’t have children. Jacob blessed Asher saying that Asher would have
rich food that he would give a king. In the wilderness marches we numbered
53,400, and when we were given our assigned portion of the promise land, we
couldn’t drive out the Canaanites and had to live among them. I think we were
absorbed into their culture. It happens.
I fast. Trust me when
I say, I won’t die from fasting. I don’t do it every day, but I do it
regularly. I tell you this, so you understand my devotion to God and that even
I get my attention drawn off of what is important. Fasting draws me closer to
God. Fasting requires me to put down the things that I desire or think I need
or want and put God first. He does not deny me what I need. I have fasted from
speaking and meditated on the Scripture I had memorized. I have fasted certain
foods or wine. Whatever God calls me to fast, I do, and I do it willingly and
happily. Sometimes I fast on behalf of someone who needs a miracle, but most of
the time when I fast, I’m pleading for the Messiah to come.
I pray. I pray without ceasing. When I see someone walk into
the Temple, I say their names to God, and if I know their need, I raise it up
in prayer. If I don’t know their name, sometime I give them a name or I point
them out to God. He knows for whom I pray.
Some of my most favorite times in the Temple are when
families bring their babies in to make a purification offering. The baby boys
are brought a month and ten days after they are born, and his parents make a
sacrifice on behalf of the mother who gave birth. It’s also a time that the
first born son is consecrated to the Lord. What an honorable time in a new
parent’s life in dedicating their baby to God. I no longer watch the ceremony.
I watch the parents’ faces, and from time-to-time, the baby upstages the whole
show by doing something unexpected. Such sweet memories as the life of a family
truly begins. Sweet, sweet, sweet.
There are other people serving in the Temple as well. There’s
a man named Simeon. I got to see him filled with the Spirit of God. HOW
EXCITING! Simeon is a great godly man. He said the Spirit told him that he
would see the consolation of Israel. That kind of thing gives me goose bumps! I
keep a close watch on Simeon. I want to know when God keeps His promise to
Simeon in the hopes that I too will have that same blessing. I cannot compare
my anticipation of the Messiah to anything I’ve ever known. It just wells up in
me, and I cannot contain it.
It was during one of these welling-up times that I feel the
Spirit. I get so excited. I start looking. I don’t move as fast as I once did,
and I’m not as stable on my feet as when I was young, but the Spirit is urging
me and moving me. If I had a beautiful singing voice, I’d be singing at the top
of my lungs. I see Simeon talking to a young couple holding a baby, and he’s
praying over them. I move as quickly as my feeble legs will carry me, tears of
joy running down my face, this overwhelming Spirit causes me to speak. I move
in, and I see the face of the Messiah! I raise my hands in worship. I have seen
his face! Hallelujah! I’ve seen the face of the Messiah. Phanuel’s daughter,
tribe of Asher, Anna saw the face of Jesus! I can’t help myself. Before hearing
Simeon speak, I knew this infant in arms was the Son of God. My enthusiasm and
excitement could not possibly be contained. People are looking at me. Once they
make eye contact, it’s too late for them. I started bringing them over. People who
needed redemption and grace. I told them this was the long-awaited Messiah.
Long after Joseph and Mary left the temple with Jesus, I was still telling
people about looking into the face of Jesus. I told them to keep an eye out, to
keep tabs on him as he grew up that he would do great things. I told them to
expect it. I won’t live to see it, but they need to know that he’s here. He’s
actually here.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, God, for allowing me the
blessing of seeing the face of my Savior. I am truly favored and blessed.
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