There’s a verse that haunts me. It has haunted me since I
first read it. It haunts me because it has never jumped out at me until I
started studying the events leading up to the crucifixion. It’s a verse that
overwhelms me at times because out of everyone in the Bible I most relate to
this one…Peter. Peter was impetuous. He was a leader. He was passionate and
eager. Did you ever notice that no one
else had courage to get out of the boat or even ask about getting out of the
boat during the storm? Just sayin’.
Peter was an all-in kind of guy. In Luke 22:31-32, Jesus
tells Peter that Satan has asked to sift Peter. Jesus tells Peter without
telling Peter straight out that Satan is going to try him, and Jesus wanted
Peter to know that He had prayed for him. “But I have prayed for you, Simon
that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your
brothers.” Oh my word, Jesus calls him SIMON.
Did you catch that? Simon is the name used before Peter affirmed who Jesus
was. I wonder if Peter caught that. I wonder if Peter thought it odd that Jesus
would call him Simon after all this
time of being called Peter, or he may not have thought a thing about it until
retrospect. Jesus knew that Simon Peter would turn his back, but He also knew
that Peter would return to him. Did you
catch that? “And when you have
turned back…” I’m sure Peter had to be confused a little, but I know he had to
have played those words back to himself over and over again once things
settled.
It’s Peter’s response that shows his heart, his intent,
“Lord, I’m ready to go with you to prison and to death” (33). Jesus then tells
Peter that he will deny knowing Jesus three times before the rooster crows.
What turmoil and internal struggle Peter had to be enduring, but it’s just the
beginning. It’s just the beginning.
Jesus takes the disciples to the Mount of Olives to pray. He
then takes Peter, James and John further in and asks them to pray. Jesus tells
them to pray so that they won’t fall into temptation. Peter needed this time of
prayer. He did. He really needed it, but instead he fell asleep. When Jesus
woke them, Jesus had been praying so fervently that he had drops of blood on
his face. Think for a moment. If your
child came and woke you in the middle of the night with blood all over their
face, what would your initial response be? I would be freaking out without a
doubt.
As Jesus is telling them to get up and pray is when the mob
shows up with Judas, and the events start unfolding so quickly. Peter slices of
the high priest’s, servant’s ear smooth off. He is a man of action, impetuous
action. Jesus fixes Peter’s mistake. He takes the ear and reattaches it good as
new, and tells Peter to put his sword away. He tells Peter and those around him
that he could call 72,000 angels down if He so chose to do (Mt), but Jesus has
come to fulfill Scripture. So let it be.
Jesus is led away to the high priest’s palace in the middle
of the night to be interrogated. They tried to find false witnesses, but none
of their stories stuck. Meanwhile Peter is in the courtyard. Most likely within
earshot of Jesus, and I’ll show you why I think this in a minute. Jesus
remained silent which was an admission of guilt in this illegal Jewish court. They spit in his face, hit Him with their
fists, slapped Him, and mocked Him. All during this time, a girl, then a woman
confronted Peter about his association with Jesus. Peter denied knowing Jesus. The
Sanhedrin voted that Jesus should be put to death because Jesus said He would
destroy the temple and raise it up in three days, but the Sanhedrin lacked the
authority to put anyone to death. Peter is confronted for the third and final
time, and Peter denies Jesus. And here is the verse that haunts me. After Jesus
has endured the initial mocking and beating and being humiliated, And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And
Peter recalled the Lord’s words” (Luke 22:61). The rooster crows as Peter
denies for the third time, and Jesus made eye contact with Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had
spoken to him. I can so feel the weight of that moment.
It is no wonder that Peter wept bitterly and sorrowfully (Lk
22:62). I’m just telling you I would be
bawling uncontrollably. You know that ugly, guttural cry with snot going
everywhere. It’s one thing to do something and not get caught or even to
get caught afterwards, but to see the look on Jesus’ face just at the moment
when you have failed Him the most. I just
wonder what was the look on Jesus’ face. There’s no look that would have
made Peter felt any better or any worse.
We really don’t hear much more from Peter or see him in
Scripture until after the Passover meal when Jesus has been placed in the tomb,
and the believers have come together to grieve. The women go to put spices at
the tomb and encounter the angels. The women return and told the eleven and the
others what they saw. Most didn’t believe them, but Peter, he got up and ran.
He ran to the grave. He saw the empty tomb. He saw the strips of linen. What he
didn’t see was the body of Christ. Luke 24:12, …he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.
And when you have returned…
John 21: 1-14 shows the disciples have returned to their old way of life
– fishing. It’s what they knew. It’s what they were comfortable doing. But
Jesus wasn’t done with them, and Jesus knew that in order for them to become
the New Testament church that Peter needed to be restored. Jesus gives Peter
the same number of opportunities to acknowledge his love for Jesus as the
number of times Peter denied Jesus. How healing that must have been for Peter.
I hope it removed his shame. I think it had to have.
This is truly a story of grace. It’s a story that I need.
It’s the story my heart craves.
