Okay, so God has me awake and has had me awake for some time now, but at 4:29 AM I'm just now getting out of the bed to write it down. Not sure why he has me writing about this now, but he knows best, and I want to be obedient.
On occasion I have to travel for work. I know there are some women who do not like being away from their families, but for me, on the rare occasion I get to spend the night in a hotel by myself…well, it's pure mental-health time for me. I walk into my hotel room, drop my bags and relax. I do things I don't get to do at home because there is always one more load to wash, one more game to attend, one more lesson to go to. You know, things like a facial, manicure and pedicure. I take care of my physical body and my mental body. I rarely will turn the television on, but when I do, I assure you it isn't to the Disney channel or the cartoon network!
I also take my Bible because God can show up anywhere and anytime, and I like to be prepared.
One trip I took to Arkansas for a business meeting I stayed overnight in a hotel. My colleagues were going out to eat, but I opted out to stay by myself in my hotel room. AAAHHHH!!!!! Little by little, the knots in my shoulders begin to unkink, and I start breathing deeper. I pull out my toiletry items and begin pampering. When I'm through pampering, I decide to turn in early. Click – light's off. I lay in bed exhausted looking forward to a good night's rest, and my eyes pop open. Don't you just hate that? Bing. I try to close them, but they won't stay closed. So I sit up in my bed, and say, "Okay, God, what is it?" Now, I know better than to ask God a question that I really don't want to know the answer to, but I truly thought this one was rather benign. I WAS WRONG!
He began convicting me of where I get my value. By day, I investigate insurance fraud. I've done it for almost 14 years, and I love it. You don't stick around in this job unless it fits, and God has blessed me in this position, but that night he began convicting me about my getting my value from what I do for a living. I have to admit I enjoy seeing people's faces when they see what I look like, and I tell them stories from my work. They typically think it's funny. God convicted me that I was getting more pleasure from wearing the title of fraud investigator than I did of being his daughter. He said, "I gave you those abilities and that job. I can take them away. Then who would you be?" OUCH!
After he dealt with me about my label of fraud investigator then he started in on the other labels I wear because let's face it, as women we wear A LOT OF HATS! Wife, daughter, mother, friend, employee, mentor, mentee, cook, referee, teacher, laundress, chauffeur, and the list keeps going. He took the biggest roles/labels in my life and tore them down to bare metal. "Kristy, I gave you your marriage. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I blessed you with children. I can take them away. Then who would you be?" "You're a daughter, I can take that away. Then who would you be?" Slowly, one by one he stripped me down to where I had no labels, no titles, no prestige, no honor, nothing and asked me, "Now, who are you?"
God can do this with our possessions. "I blessed you with your home. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I have blessed you with an income. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" OR "I have blessed you with _____________. I can take it away. Then who would you be?"
He can do the same thing with our health. "I gave you your hair. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I made you woman. I can take your womanly parts. Then who would you be?" "I put the teeth in your head. I can take them away. Then who would you be?"
God wasn't being mean. He doesn't work that way. What he was doing was stripping me down. He was removing the things in my life that distracted me from knowing who he had created me to be. So, as I laid there crying in my bed feeling as if I were nothing, he gently started rebuilding me. "You are my beloved. I have known you from before creation. I knitted you in your mother's womb. You are a one-of-a-kind, priceless work-of-art. You are precious."
My son has had Blue (a baby blue elephant) since the day he was born. He has carried that elephant to church, daycare, nurseries, and grocery stores and on trips. To this day, six years later he still sleeps with it at night. We've even had to have it restuffed. If I were to put Blue in a garage sale (which would be downright silly), but if I were, I probably would get maybe 50 cents. Is that Blue's true worth, his true value? To the person who bought it maybe, but not to Pearce, not to me. You see, I love that animal because my son loves him, and it's a special memory I have of Pearce from babyhood until now. But for Pearce, Blue is priceless. Blue's value comes from the one who loves him, cherishes him. Are you making the connection? You are precious because God loves you. Your value comes from God because HE loves you. His love for you NEVER CHANGES! It doesn't depend on your mood, your behavior, and your choices. His love for you NEVER CHANGES. He was willing to die and did die just to have a relationship with you. He can't love you any more than he did the day he created you because he already knew all the good and bad things you were going to do in your life, and he still chose to create you anyway because he loves you so much.
Women and girls are walking around the earth beaten up emotionally because they are people pleasers, and ya'll, there are just some people who can't be pleased. And if their love is contingent on your pleasing them, then you will live your whole life never having the loving relationship you want from them. If this is the kind of relationship you base your value on, then you are doomed to a life of depression, anger, low self-esteem, and exhaustion.
There are girls and women walking around this earth so confident in who they are because of their status, knowing where they are going and how they are going to get there that when tragedy hits, devastation strikes and destitution and loss are the words of the day -- they fall apart. They are broken into little, bitty pieces feeling like they can't be put back together again.
Those are the two extremes, but there are plenty that are in the middle.
When our value comes from our Creator, the Lover of our souls, our heavenly Father who loves us as we are when we stand before him naked withholding nothing, then we are sure to have a stable Foundation. Our relationship with others will change because we are not relying on another flawed human being to give us our value…we are relying on God.
So, who are you? If God takes it away, then who are you?
Me? I stand redeemed. I stand loved wholly and completely as I am even in my imperfectness. I am precious because he says so. Who are you?