Monday, May 7, 2012

Sometimes I Feel Like the Greatest Failure in Being a Mom

Sometimes I feel like the greatest failure in being a mom. Have you ever just blown it? When I am exhausted and pushed to the limit, when I have more deadlines on me than I can bear, when I’m stressed to the max, and one of my darlins not only steps over the line but charges full speed ahead across it as if running a sprint, I have been known to lose my mind. There you have it. I L-O-S-E IT! I can give plenty of excuses for not behaving like a perfect parent or for why I’m not being the perfect parent, but it doesn’t mean I’m right. And I know there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

There are days when raising my strong-willed child that I just feel the spiritual need to do some laying on of the hands (if you know what I mean), and in my disciplining, I hear words tumble out of his mouth, “You’re so mean!” Yep, I’m the mean mom, and I’m okay with being the mean mom. I’m not okay with defeat. I won’t give up on my kids no matter how I may screw up from time-to-time or how exhausted I may be. I will not give up in parenting them, disciplining them, loving them, challenging them, and it can be exhausting. Isn’t nice to know that God can restore, refuel, and energize us?

In Genesis 14:17, we see Melchizedek is not only king of Salem (which most believe is Jerusalem or at the very least it is near Jerusalem), but he is also priest to God Most High. Salem means peace. Melchizedek was the king of peace and priest of the God Most High…Does that sound similar to anyone else in the Bible? If it doesn’t, maybe this will help. Melchizedek gives Abram, a believer in the God Most High, bread and wine. Melchizedek is paralleling Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the King of Kings, the Prince of Peace. He is the One who came down to mediate our soul’s transfer from the bondage of sin to the heavenly Father. Jesus Christ at the Last Supper gives bread as a symbol of his body and wine to represent his blood. This is some rich, deep stuff, peeps. Melchizedek gives bread and wine to Abram and his men after returning from battle to restore them, to fuel them, to replenish their physical needs then meets their spiritual needs.

Abram is restored, refreshed, blessed, and in the presence of God. What does Abram do in turn? He gives. He gives a tenth of everything. While it is not called a tithe, it is the base amount of a tithe, isn’t it? Abram responded to the king of peace and priest.

When you get into the presence of God Almighty, God Most High, when you see His hand working in your life, when you feel His restoration and blessing, how do you respond? Do you realize that what you have attained in this life isn’t because of what you’ve done but because of what God’s done for you? Melchizedek says, “I give praise to God Most High who has handed over your enemies to you.” Do you have an Attitude of Gratitude?

One of my new favorite verses is Psalm 57:2, “I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me.” We have many things for which to be thankful. One is that we have a Prince of Peace and Mediator who paid for our sins and defeated death. As a result of redemption, we can know that God has a purpose for each of us. Philippians 1:7 says, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I know that God has called me to be a mom. I know without a doubt God hand-chose both of my kids for me to mother. Let’s just say, God has a sense of humor. I thought by adopting I’d circumvent that mother’s prayer, but my mother’s prayer was more potent than my body’s ability to give life. God’s purpose for me is to be a momma to Erin and Pearce and a wife to Patrick among other purposes He has called me to undertake.

The victories we achieve in this life as believers are not our own. They are to the glory of God because they are part of His plans for us in living an abundant life (John 10:10). Give credit where credit is due. It is by the grace of God that I was allowed to live past puberty, and I give that credit to God. It is by the grace of God that my marriage is still a living, growing force in my life. It is to the glory of God that both of my children have asked Jesus into their hearts. It is by the grace of God and His plan and purpose for me that I get to serve Him by loving and listening to women. It is by God and God alone that I can overcome setbacks in life. It is by God and God alone that I can parent my strong-willed child with determination to mold his will and help him to develop into the young man God has purposed for him to be. It is by God and God alone that my daughter is a healthy pre-teen. To God be the glory.

How will you respond to your Prince of Peace and Savior through today's struggles and victories?

1 comment:

  1. If it helps your feelings any at all, I can not imagine that there is a parent anywhere (past or present) who hasn't "lost it" occasionally. As the saying goes, "Been there, done that," and my daughters turned out quite well!


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