Tonight my son was watching "Horton Hears a Who." This little movie is about an elephant who hears a noise coming from a speck, and the elephant Horton decides the voice belongs to someone who has a family who needs help. Horton finds out it's more than just that someone. It's a whole town living on the speck he caught on the top of a clover.
It was during the beginning of the movie when Horton is chasing the clover because he heard someone crying for help that a still, quiet voice asked me, "What do you expect of me?" I thought it was funny because there is a kangaroo on the movie who couldn't hear the voice Horton heard, and if she couldn't hear it, see it, feel it or taste it then it just wasn't real, and here I sat hearing that still, quiet voice.I excused myself, and the still, quiet voice began questioning me as I entered my time alone with Him. It's been a while since He came to me, or maybe He's come and I haven't heard Him for all the racket going on in my life.
Am I expecting anything from God? I have to tell you I have wrestled with this question and am still wrestling with it.
- What do I expect from God? Do I expect anything? I want God to do things, and I need God to do things, but what do I expect of Him?
What do I want from God? (The question "What do I need from God?" will be addressed in a different blog.)
Direction: I want God to just tell me what He wants me to do. Is that too much to ask? When we were going through the adoption process the first go around, I got to the point in my spiritual walk that I would be obedient, I would comply, I would submit if He would only just make His way, His plan boldly evident. Do you know why this was a problem?I had gotten to a point in my spiritual growth where I relied on God and wanted nothing more than to be in His will and to please Him. This is not a bad thing. But if God had left me in that place, my faith would not have grown roots. 2 Corinthians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight." We should never stop learning. We should never stop growing in our relationship with God or in our faith. So now, I'm working on breathing. When I take a deep breath and realize He is in control, that He will work it all out for the good of those who love Him (which is me) Romans 8:28, and that even if I stumble He has me in His hands (Psalms 37:23-24), then I'm trusting Him with my whole heart. I'm trusting Him with everything.
Here are a couple of other verses He led me to read.
Proverbs 16:9 NIV In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Isaiah 42:16-17 NIV I will lead the blind by ways they have not known along familiar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These things I will do; I will not forsake them. (I cannot tell you how meaningful this verse is in my life on a regular basis.)
- Love: As a mean mom, I don't always get love from my kids. Human love is flawed, but His love is perfect and can cast out fear. I love the way The Message puts it in Jeremiah.
And sit back and enjoy the fruit— oh, how you'll enjoy those harvests! The time's coming when watchmen will call out from the hilltops of Ephraim: 'On your feet! Let's go to Zion, go to meet our God!'"
Proverbs 18:10 NIV 10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
Psalms 34:7 NIV The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
Those are just a few things I want from God, but do I expect them from Him? I guess I do. Why do I expect them? Because He is faithful and just. He is consistent. Is it bad that I expect things of God? Not necessarily. I can rely on Him for my every need, but our expectations of God can be a bad thing when we limit God with our finite knowledge and human experience. If you were to write down everything you know or feel about Jesus Christ and put it in a box, how much space would that box fill in a room? Not much. God doesn't fit in a box. He cannot be adequately described. He is beyond description. He is the beginning and the end – have you ever tried to wrap your mind around that? He is the Alpha and the Omega. He has infinite knowledge and wisdom. We see things partly not in whole.
I am guilty of limiting God. I am guilty of putting God in a box. So I'm working on just breathing and waiting, and I'm trying not to be too eager to label things that happen in my life as good or bad. I'm looking for God's hand knowing that sometimes I won't see it until I look back and sometimes it is not for me to see but to trust that it is enough to know that He loves me.