I was in the fourth grade when I got into my first fist fight with a boy…at least I think it was fourth grade. Yes, my first fistfight. But after my first fight with a boy, my daddy taught me how to fight, and it made all the difference in the world. Some pointers daddy gave me AFTER my first fistfight were the following:
· Since I was always on the small size, daddy always said if I was going to throw the first punch it needs to be a surprise AND it needs to connect (He said there would be times that a fight might be inevitable, and if that were the case, it would be in my best interest to ring his bell first. I knew better than to fight another girl. They don’t fight fair.)
· He told me when I wadded my hand up into a fist to make sure my thumb was on the outside. Otherwise, my thumb would get broken
· Daddy recommended the first punch be an upper cut (This tactic was proven very effective my senior year in high school when I decked a linebacker…just sayin’)
· He also told me about using my knee and how to pop someone’s eyes out (I know it’s gross, but if you are a woman and you don’t know how to defend yourself, you need to get educated)
· AND if I am ever attacked by a man, pee on him
These were the rules of engagement I was given by my daddy in regards to defending myself. Those of you raising girls may not agree with his method, but after I walked away with a fat lip and the other boy a bloody nose, he thought it best to teach me some self-defense. Even if I had not gotten into a fistfight with that first little boy, it is wise for girls to be taught some basic defense skills.
From very early on, I’ve been trying to break into a boy’s club in some way or another. I honestly don’t know why that is. I guess because in my mind’s eye when I bow up, I’m the Rock instead of the Chihuaha that I am. It is no surprise that when I started in fraud investigation that I was really only the second “generation” of women in my field. When I would go into body shops or salvage yards and the men would call me “honey” or “sugar,” it used to make me madder than a wet hornet…until. Yes, there was a day when my boss who was the first generation of female fraud investigators told me to consider it part of the game. Utilize whatever I had to my benefit. So, yes, there would be times when I would visit a body shop/chop shop or salvage yard that I would wear a dress that accentuated my legs or physique. It was a distraction for them. They would start speaking in a condescending manner to me and start “explaining things” to me like I was stupid. Was I? No. And before I would leave a shop or at the end of an investigation, I would let them know just how badly they underestimated me. HEHEHE. I know that’s probably wrong, but I have to admit I did get great pleasure in it. I used to love the look on their faces when they realized they sunk their own boat. My friend Cynthia says I’m yen and yang – fraud on one side of me and then women’s ministry on the other.
As I’ve been thinking about the old boys’ clubs recently for various reasons, I realized that underestimating your opponent can be a serious weakness. I know I’ve underestimated people before and have been caught off guard. Haven’t you?
As Christians, we have a very REAL opponent. His name is Lucifer, Satan, the devil. 1 Peter 5:8 says we need to be sober, vigilant because Satan is our adversary and is like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Never underestimate your opponent. He knows where you are weak. He knows how to push your buttons. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. These actions killing, stealing and destroying (John 10:10) requires skill, knowledge and capability. He comes to kill your dreams, steal your joy, and destroy your life. He doesn’t go into take you down without a plan of some sort. When he tempted Jesus, there was a plan. There was a method. Satan can be very patient when it is required in taking you down. He will attack whatever you consider to be a “small” weakness, but he can take that small weakness and feed it. Whatever you feed grows. If you feed your fleshly side, your spiritual side withers. If you feed your spiritual side, your fleshly side deteriorates. Satan will provide you with multiple opportunities to FEED that weakness, that fleshly side of yourself. Will you fall for it by thinking “I’ve got it under control?” Addicts of any sort will tell you they didn’t mean to become an addict. That was not their goal or intention. Bitter people didn’t start out wanting to become bitter, but they fed their anger and resentment. People who are morbidly obese didn’t start out with the intention of trying to kill themselves with food. Lonely people didn’t aim to be without friends and family, but they failed to control their mouths or their own, selfish desires thereby alienating those around them. Something so small. Something that appears to be harmless. Someone who appears one way but really isn’t.
Never underestimate you opponent. Don’t think for one minute that you got this one. A game changer can happen at any moment, or it can happen gradually so you don’t even recognize it.
Casting Crowns has a song called “Slow Fade.” The words to it are below. Please take time to read it.
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Guard yourselves, sweet friends. Never underestimate the enemy.
He's a jerk, and I have his number.
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