Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Joy Was Stolen. I've Been Robbed.

More lessons along my hiking journeys over the past few weekends. Had some real Come to Jesus Meetings with Jesus.

My confession -- I got stuck.

I lost my confidence to lead. For many reasons. For no reason. I lost my way. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing with my Master level certificates of knowledge, and so I sat. I said I didn’t care. I became stiff-necked, and if you’ve read Proverbs 29:1, you know that is not a good thing. When you don’t have a designated spot to serve, sometimes it is hard to find your way. There are many possibilities, and the sheer volume can be overwhelming. Then self-doubt creeps in. I love this picture. There are several paths from which to choose. It’s an open place and peaceful looking at first, but if you’re lost and you don’t know what to look for, it would be easy to become distressed. That’s when most hikers make careless mistakes. Much to my chagrin, I’ve sat here for over a year hesitant to make a move. Then I was called out, corrected, and told get on with it -- no mercy given, none required. There are many of you who could have had this talk with me, but this time it was my mom. Can you see in this picture where the path is? Do you see it? Off to the left is a tree with a white sign, there is the path.

I have to be honest with you. I had lost my joy sitting there for so long. I’ve never not had self-confidence. I’ve never lacked for self-confidence. Just ask my mom. But it’s amazing how little things can steal your joy? Distractions. Deficits. Uncertainty. I can assure you these things are not of Yahweh. God wants us to have joy. He is joy. He gives joy in the journey, but when you get stuck, you aren’t moving forward to see what is over the next hill or around the next bend, to see there’s a playground on which for you to swing and slide. When I was a kid, I would swing as high as I could and then jump. I had more skinned up knees in the first grade than anyone else. I was always in the school office after recess. I REALLY loved to swing, and I REALLY loved to go high. My dog even tried to swing. Who doesn’t love to swing, to feel the wind raising your hair, and to feel the breeze on your face?

Sorry, I tried to get this turned the correct way, but it just wouldn't work...much like Sunni and the swing

So since I’ve been confronted and prodded, I’ve realized it’s time for me to come out of the darkness. I want to be in the Light. If I fail, I fail, but I think the real failure is in the not trying.

I’ve been called to minister to women, to encourage women and to teach women. I’ve been called to show them Jesus and how to drink from the well that never runs dry. I know this to be true if I know anything at all. It wasn’t something I asked for, and it most certainly isn’t something I sought.

There will be things that will come up in our lives, in our walk with Christ. Sometimes they are meant to stop us from proceeding, and they are designed by God. Sometimes they are there for us to conquer, to go over. Sometimes we get distracted by the mountain we’ve made from the molehill. There is no obstacle that can’t be overcome if Jesus is leading you to it. Our confidence is to be in Him. We should be looking to Him for our confidence. It’s what I tell my daughter. Why didn’t I see this is where one of my issues was hiding?

I will be a fisher for women. Women bring life. Women nurture life. Women become depleted. Women who are hurt and need to be restored, I want to minister to them. Regardless of how hard the climb or how hard the journey, I will carry on.

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

The Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Lyrics from Avalon’s In Christ Alone

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