Saturday, April 17, 2010
Loves Her Girlfriends
It was my daughter's third grade field day, and she and one of her best friends were walking together to the football field to compete in the tug of war with her class. It was bright and beautiful, and the girls were chattering away as they walked ahead of me. I noticed how closely they were walking, and looking down I saw these nine, year-old girls holding hands. It sent me back to my third-grade, best friend. Her name was Jennifer.
Jennifer and I were always together in during the school day, and I remember spending the night at her house maybe once or twice that year. I, like Erin, held Jennifer's hand as we would walk through the school corridors. It was a sweet and innocent kind of friendship. There wasn't any competition. I didn't realize then how rare and special that friendship was.
As we grow up, relationships change. We change. Our friends change. Sometimes young women drop their girlfriends when a man enters the picture, but picks her friends back up when he is no longer in the picture. But what I discovered after I got married is I wanted my girlfriends even more. A girlfriend to whom I could compare notes, share ideas and recipes, and yes, gripe about my husband leaving his dirty underwear on the floor. Then we had kids, and I see myself becoming friends with the mothers of their friends.
I know friendship with women can be hard at times and difficult too, especially if one of the parties in the friendship is competitive, but there is nothing like a good, healthy relationship with a girlfriend. I look at my mom's group of girlfriends. My sister and I try to crash "The Sisters" on different occasions, but we aren't allowed. This group of women from different churches get together, do retreats for themselves, laugh till they pee in their pants, pray for each other when life gets hard, and when life gets downright impossible, they are there supporting each other.
So, let me encourage you this day. Be the kind of friend you want to have. Be respectful of your friend's boundaries. Be brave enough to be transparent. Be reliable. Be honest and not competitive. Be willing to apologize. Look for opportunities to have time together to laugh till coke comes out your nose or you pee in your pants. You deserve it.