It is by no coincidence that Erin's birthday is during the first part of the first quarter of the year. It is by no accident that my church is participating in a fast beginning on Monday lasting through the end of the month. It's also no coincidence that my Nissan has given us more problems without resolution.
Every year on Erin's birthday, I reflect on the journey that God took me on just to become a mom – 6 plus months of failed fertility treatments, failed private adoption, and depression. From the time we started trying to have a baby was 3 years and 3 months (but who was counting, right?). It was an excruciating journey that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but one from which I grew immeasurably in my faith, blind faith and trust in God to provide the desire that He had put into my heart.
Last year, our church went through a Daniel's fast together. I thought I was going to DIE! (That first week was a doozy!) During that fast, God called me to full-time women's ministry and insisted I go to seminary. Since I work full-time outside of ministry, am a wife and mom first and foremost, I thought God was crazy not to mention it had been well over 15 plus years since I was in college. But, I obeyed. He has provided time, energy and resources. I have learned so much, and I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting women who have similar passion as myself. It's encouraging and equipping. I love it! WHO KNEW!?
I know that the decision for my office comes down this quarter, and God is reminding me of his faithfulness by Erin's birth. In the Old Testament, people would build altars to remind them of what God did at certain places in their lives. It was a reminder to not only them but to the generations to come. The fast is in beginning of the first quarter to help me focus on the one true thing in life and that is my relationship with Jesus Christ. It also reminds me that God can and will use anything to grow me and stretch me beyond my comfort zone for my good.
Then there is the car issue. We've had more problems with this car than any other I have ever owned. It cost over about $2500 to get the timing chain and guide replaced, and they had my car for a month! They were taking the motor in and out – a minimum of 3 times. Since that time in October, I've had problem after problem with sensors going out. (They had to remove these in order to get the motor in and out, but of course, they didn't damage them and don't want to pay for them.) Then they forgot to put a part back on my motor causing it to leak oil. This whole scenario is no accident either. I know that Satan will do anything and everything to distract me from what God has called me to do and from whom God is making me to be. I believe calling a spade, a spade – Satan is a no-good-for-nothing, lying snake-in-the-grass who comes to sap the joy out of Christians lives and distract us from having an intimate relationship with Jesus, and I AM SICK OF HIM. I'm ready for God to cut his head off. The only good snake is a DEAD SNAKE!
So, let's review…
- My God gave me the desires of my heart answering specific prayers allowing me to become a mom of a beautiful, funny girl named Erin. He wants me to trust him to deliver.
- My God leads me to new places and experiences to enrich my life and challenge me, so I won't become bored and stagnant. He wants to bless me as I follow him.
- Satan will use whatever means necessary to distract and sap life and joy from my life.
Really, the choice is simple. I want to have life to the fullest (John 10:10). I will choose to trust God to deliver whatever job he wants me to have. He will bless my family and protect my family as he leads us down unfamiliar paths (Is 42:16 – love this verse). I will wait expectantly for God to do exceedingly more than I could ever dare to dream.