Wonders Who Would You Be if He Stripped You Down to Brass Metal

Okay, so God has me awake and has had me awake for some time now, but at 4:29 AM I'm just now getting out of the bed to write it down. Not sure why he has me writing about this now, but he knows best, and I want to be obedient.

On occasion I have to travel for work. I know there are some women who do not like being away from their families, but for me, on the rare occasion I get to spend the night in a hotel by myself…well, it's pure mental-health time for me. I walk into my hotel room, drop my bags and relax. I do things I don't get to do at home because there is always one more load to wash, one more game to attend, one more lesson to go to. You know, things like a facial, manicure and pedicure. I take care of my physical body and my mental body. I rarely will turn the television on, but when I do, I assure you it isn't to the Disney channel or the cartoon network!

I also take my Bible because God can show up anywhere and anytime, and I like to be prepared.

One trip I took to Arkansas for a business meeting I stayed overnight in a hotel. My colleagues were going out to eat, but I opted out to stay by myself in my hotel room. AAAHHHH!!!!! Little by little, the knots in my shoulders begin to unkink, and I start breathing deeper. I pull out my toiletry items and begin pampering. When I'm through pampering, I decide to turn in early. Click – light's off. I lay in bed exhausted looking forward to a good night's rest, and my eyes pop open. Don't you just hate that? Bing. I try to close them, but they won't stay closed. So I sit up in my bed, and say, "Okay, God, what is it?" Now, I know better than to ask God a question that I really don't want to know the answer to, but I truly thought this one was rather benign. I WAS WRONG!

He began convicting me of where I get my value. By day, I investigate insurance fraud. I've done it for almost 14 years, and I love it. You don't stick around in this job unless it fits, and God has blessed me in this position, but that night he began convicting me about my getting my value from what I do for a living. I have to admit I enjoy seeing people's faces when they see what I look like, and I tell them stories from my work. They typically think it's funny. God convicted me that I was getting more pleasure from wearing the title of fraud investigator than I did of being his daughter. He said, "I gave you those abilities and that job. I can take them away. Then who would you be?" OUCH!

After he dealt with me about my label of fraud investigator then he started in on the other labels I wear because let's face it, as women we wear A LOT OF HATS! Wife, daughter, mother, friend, employee, mentor, mentee, cook, referee, teacher, laundress, chauffeur, and the list keeps going. He took the biggest roles/labels in my life and tore them down to bare metal. "Kristy, I gave you your marriage. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I blessed you with children. I can take them away. Then who would you be?" "You're a daughter, I can take that away. Then who would you be?" Slowly, one by one he stripped me down to where I had no labels, no titles, no prestige, no honor, nothing and asked me, "Now, who are you?"

God can do this with our possessions. "I blessed you with your home. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I have blessed you with an income. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" OR "I have blessed you with _____________. I can take it away. Then who would you be?"

He can do the same thing with our health. "I gave you your hair. I can take it away. Then who would you be?" "I made you woman. I can take your womanly parts. Then who would you be?" "I put the teeth in your head. I can take them away. Then who would you be?"

God wasn't being mean. He doesn't work that way. What he was doing was stripping me down. He was removing the things in my life that distracted me from knowing who he had created me to be. So, as I laid there crying in my bed feeling as if I were nothing, he gently started rebuilding me. "You are my beloved. I have known you from before creation. I knitted you in your mother's womb. You are a one-of-a-kind, priceless work-of-art. You are precious."

My son has had Blue (a baby blue elephant) since the day he was born. He has carried that elephant to church, daycare, nurseries, and grocery stores and on trips. To this day, six years later he still sleeps with it at night. We've even had to have it restuffed. If I were to put Blue in a garage sale (which would be downright silly), but if I were, I probably would get maybe 50 cents. Is that Blue's true worth, his true value? To the person who bought it maybe, but not to Pearce, not to me. You see, I love that animal because my son loves him, and it's a special memory I have of Pearce from babyhood until now. But for Pearce, Blue is priceless. Blue's value comes from the one who loves him, cherishes him. Are you making the connection? You are precious because God loves you. Your value comes from God because HE loves you. His love for you NEVER CHANGES! It doesn't depend on your mood, your behavior, and your choices. His love for you NEVER CHANGES. He was willing to die and did die just to have a relationship with you. He can't love you any more than he did the day he created you because he already knew all the good and bad things you were going to do in your life, and he still chose to create you anyway because he loves you so much.

Women and girls are walking around the earth beaten up emotionally because they are people pleasers, and ya'll, there are just some people who can't be pleased. And if their love is contingent on your pleasing them, then you will live your whole life never having the loving relationship you want from them. If this is the kind of relationship you base your value on, then you are doomed to a life of depression, anger, low self-esteem, and exhaustion.

There are girls and women walking around this earth so confident in who they are because of their status, knowing where they are going and how they are going to get there that when tragedy hits, devastation strikes and destitution and loss are the words of the day -- they fall apart. They are broken into little, bitty pieces feeling like they can't be put back together again.

Those are the two extremes, but there are plenty that are in the middle.

When our value comes from our Creator, the Lover of our souls, our heavenly Father who loves us as we are when we stand before him naked withholding nothing, then we are sure to have a stable Foundation. Our relationship with others will change because we are not relying on another flawed human being to give us our value…we are relying on God.

So, who are you? If God takes it away, then who are you?

Me? I stand redeemed. I stand loved wholly and completely as I am even in my imperfectness. I am precious because he says so. Who are you?

Bacon and Cupcakes

On Monday mornings I have been writing a devotional for my church's women's ministry blog at www.connectinghearts---onewomanatatime.blogspot.com, so this one hasn't been getting as much attention as normal. (For that I apologize)

Bacon and cupcakes – odd title, isn't it? But when it came to my mind I thought, "I've gotta use it!" What may not seem to go together at all on the surface do actually fit sometimes with a little friction and force, but they fit.

If you were to lay out a buffet before my children, these are the two things they would immediately gravitate towards. Erin would make a straight line to the cupcakes because like her momma, we like the sweet stuff. Pearce, on the other hand, cannot get enough bacon. We have breakfast for supper once a week or every other week with scrambled eggs, bacon, grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit, and yogurt. It's one of our favorites, and it's easy to make since I am still without a kitchen (Yes, we are approaching the 2 year mark, but we don't talk about it.) When we have breakfast, I can count on Pearce eating most of it, and if we don't get to it first, we won't get any…and definitely no leftovers.

No matter how odd the combination may seem God has put us together. Our tastes, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, gifts and talents – He orchestrated and put this family together and for that I am truly thankful and blessed. There are days that I wonder, "What is the world were you thinking, God?" But I know he knows best, and I trust him.

This holiday season I am thankful for all of my family – my husband, kids and extended family. Life is too short to take them for granted. Be sure to tell them you love them because we aren't promised tomorrow.

 

If…You Hide-and-Go-Seek

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs"...

 

If you ever took English from my mom or had a good English professor, you might remember this opening line to Rudyard Kiplin's poem, If. For some reason this phrase came to my mind this morning. I have so much to get done today...laundry, finish reading a couple of books, submit my last seminary paper, start decorating the house for Christmas, and spending time with the only other person in my house (Erin).

Part of the reason this phrase came to my mind was because this is Friday and people can act CRAZY...even more CRAZY than normal (which is an odd thing to think about – if Crazy is normal...) I digress. The other reason is part of the new Journey of Faith I am on.

When a company decides to close some of its offices, the employees become concerned and understandably so. Rumors start running amuck, and it is hard to determine fact from fiction at times. When I am with my co-workers, they immediately start talking about the possible office closings and all the speculations. Some automatically think they are safe. Some know they are going to have to relocate. Some throw out so many different possibilities you can't tell which way they are leaning. Truth is no one knows what is exactly going to happen. Truth is we all have a choice to make – look for a job now or wait. Truth is worrying won't change one thing. So when people start to speculate, most of the time I walk off...it that is possible.

Instead I am choosing to TRUST. Totally Relying Upon my Savior's Thoughts. Jeremiah 29:11 – 14 a, "For I know the plans/thoughts I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you." Declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity"...

TRUST is a two-way street. TRUST requires and demands a relationship...a personal, intimate relationship. TRUST requires that the relationship be a healthy one – God wants the best for us, His best. TRUST requires something from us. Trust demands action from us. "You WILL CALL...COME...PRAY." I will be seeking my heavenly Father. I will go to Him and lay down my concerns, worries, problems, etc., and I will pray. He PROMISES to Listen. For my part, I will SEEK HIM WITH ALL MY HEART, and like any Father who plays hide-and-go-seek with His daughter, He lets me find Him. He picks up me and carries me out of anything that binds me, restrains me.

I'm really liking that. Hide and go seek with my Father. Picture it in your head. I remember Patrick playing hide and go seek with Erin. He would choose to hide in the same place over and over again. Know why? That is the first place that he knew Erin would look! She would toddle around the end of the sofa and find her daddy and break out into this big grin and giggle. She didn't even know there was someplace else to look! When it was his turn to count, Erin would go to the end of the sofa and squat. Patrick would count and start "looking." Teasingly, He would say things like, "I have no idea where Erin went," or "Have you seen Erin?" All the while, we could hear Erin laughing. "Here I am, daddy. Here I am!" Her daddy knew where she was. Her daddy didn't have to look for her, but the reunion at the end of each hide and seek was the same – joy and laughter.

I will seek my Father...not that He is hiding from me, but because I have things I need to tell Him. He is where He always is. He is where He is when He waits on me. He smiles when I "find" Him. "He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17). He picks you up and twirls you around, and He walks hand-in-hand with you his princess daughter...you.

(Boy, this blog went in a totally different direction than I thought it would go. I love having expectations of God, but I love it even more when He makes Himself so real that He takes you where He wants to lead you knowing it is a much sweeter place. Thank you, Jesus!)

Is Waiting – Expecting (NOT THAT KIND OF EXPECTING). Just Expecting

Blog before last, I reviewed the verse God gave me when He called me to ministry – Isaiah 42:16. I think He gave it to me because I felt completely inept and inadequate for the job He has called me to, but what I've found is that He works better in me when I'm not in "control."

I concluded with writing that I would wait.

    Psalms 5:3, "In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I my request before you and wait expectantly."

    Psalms 27:4, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

    Psalms 33:20, "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield."

    Psalms 37:7, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."

I have had difficulty with the concept of waiting, especially patiently waiting. On the things I want badly, it's like waiting for Christmas morning. I can barely stand myself. I can become downright obnoxious. I'd like to think I've matured in this area, but truth is I struggle with it on occasion. I am wise enough now to realize that God is protecting me from some things or some people by not giving me everything I want.

So, any time I become anxious or dwell too much on what may or may not happen in the spring, I will talk to God first thing. In 5:3, it reads "in the morning" – that's the beginning of the day, so therefore, I will talk to God at the beginning of my concerns, and then I will go back into the position of waiting…expectantly. I'm so glad they added that word. Expectantly in the "Word Study" found at www.mystudyBible.com reads "properly to lean forward, to peer into the distance,…wait for." I love that – leaning forward in my prayers to God knowing He will answer. That is where I will be.

In 33:20, says we wait in HOPE. We have hope because we know His heart is for us. He is my help. He is my shield.

In 37:7, I have to be still…wait patiently. I will not fret.

Are you waiting on God for something? How will you wait?

Last week I was in New Orleans on a business trip, and the subject of office closures came up. There are a lot of speculations. Many are worried about what is going to happen because they are close to retirement but can't afford to retire. Many are concerned because they can't relocate. I can tell you one thing though, we are all waiting. The difference is some are worrying as they wait. Some are waiting in dread and fear. I am choosing to wait expectantly…you may have to remind me of this the closer the date comes, but for now, I wait expectantly to see how God is going to use this.

…Pearce Is to Be Sacrificed

This past Monday night at the dinner table, the kids and I were eating supper, and there was a lull in the conversation. Let's just say that rarely happens with my daughter at the table. But during that brief moment, Pearce piped up and asked, "Mom, when can I be sacrificed?"

(In that split moment, my mind flashed back to Sunday morning. I had been running all of the church selling tickets for the Christmas tea, lovin' on women of all ages, and as I headed to my small group I see my husband propped up against the wall with THE look on his face. I walk past my class to my husband who points across the hall to THE BOY. Patrick said, "He's all yours." Pearce had gone too far and had pushed more buttons than his daddy could handle. Pearce with his red-rimmed eyes bowed his head. Both of them had been through the wringer.)

So when Pearce asked the question the answer that immediately popped in my mind was, "Boy, you came an inch from being sacrificed on Sunday!" Fortunately, I refrained, and I asked if he meant baptized. Yes, that was the word. I was going to glaze over it and wait for his daddy to get home, so we could both talk to him about it, but Erin charged on in. "Have you heard of the sinner's prayer?" she asked. "Yes." "Well, you're a sinner, and you have to ask Jesus into your heart in the sinner's prayer." "I know I'm a sinner. I guess I'll pray tonight at bedtime," Pearce responded. "There is no need to wait," Erin replied. "You can say it right now." I jumped into the conversation at this point and asked some questions to lead him through and to make sure he understood what he was doing and why. He prayed and asked Jesus into his heart right then and there. We called his daddy, and it was a great evening.

I started blogging about my new journey of faith. Waiting on God to reveal the next thing to happen in my life regarding the ministry He has me to do and the career I've done for so long. A journey of faith can be one that grows your faith deeper. It can be one that stretches what you already know. It can be one that takes you places you've never been before. I have a mentor that says, "Not once has God ever taken me someplace that I thought, 'Yeah, this is where I wanted to go'." Meaning God's plans for us are higher than our plans and His ways higher than ours (Isaiah 55), but no matter where He leads us it is typically not the exact location where we had intended on going, but it is exactly the place where we want to be. I was wondering how to fit this blog into this new series of my faith journey, and I think it fits perfectly.

I've been thinking about Pearce's question this week. "When can I be sacrificed?" As Christians we have to die to self, our selfish desires, and our egos daily (sometimes more frequent than that). By sacrificing our wills and ourselves to His will and His way is to truly live the overcoming life of a Christian, isn't it? The answer to Pearce's question is "anytime we feel that we have the RIGHT to be in 'CONTROL', anytime our selfish desires exceed the need to be in His presence, or anytime we make ourselves more important than our Creator" is when we need to sacrifice self. I am sacrificing what I think is a good gig, a job I've enjoyed for many years and have attained awards and recognition for, for what He wants for me. For what He wants for me is HIS BEST! What I want would be less than best for not only me, but my family.

So, as Pearce begins his new life as a Christian and I start my journey to see where God will lead me career-wise, we are both beginning a journey of faith. God's timing is perfect, and I am so blessed.

I am so blessed to have both of my children come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior at an early age. I've prayed for this since before they were born. My prayers will continue now that they will love God with all their hearts and every day of their lives serving Him faithfully. God is so good.

Waiting…just waiting

In my last post, I wrote there is a possibility that I may lose my job after the first quarter of 2011 when the office I am working in may close. The company that employs me is looking to reduce cost and buildings cost money. There are only three places in my zone that are not being considered for closure which means they could possibly ask me to relocate to Tulsa, Oklahoma; Columbia, Missouri; or Baton Rouge, Louisiana – all of which are too long to commute too!

I also wrote that I am clinging to the verse God gave me shortly after He called me into women's ministry – Isaiah 42:16. I decided I wanted to study this verse more, since I would once again come to rely on it and claim it.

(By the way, if you haven't discovered www.mystudyBible.com in your study of the Bible, I highly recommend it. It has a dictionary, concordance, commentary, footnotes, word study and Bible study notes just by simply clicking on the word.)

"I will lead the blind." The dictionary says, "Absence of light is used in both physical and figurative senses in both the OT and NT." It also says, "Darkness does not hide one from God (Ps 139:11-12, Dan 2:22)." Darkness can also symbolize ignorance – that would be where I am. "God's deliverance (either from ignorance or hostile powers) is described as lighting the darkness (Is 9:2, 29:18," etc). I admit I am ignorant in the way He would have me go, and I have to trust Him completely because He is showing me "by a way they did not know."

"I will guide them on paths they have not known." In the dictionary, guide means to lead, tread down, and walk. Some of you may have been down a similar road with the downturn in the economy over the past several years, but I have not. This is definitely a path I have not known.

"I will turn darkness to light in front of them and rough places into level ground." God is the light, and He is going before me (in front of me) to make the rough places smooth and level (that is God working it out for my good – Romans 8:28). He is the one who TURNS – meaning change, cast in, determines, and ordains – the rough to smooth. So I have a choice, do I allow Him to guide and lead me so as to follow a more level path, or do I do it myself? DUH. Does this mean I won't have difficulties and problems – no. That is not what this is saying. What it is saying is when we trust God to handle it we can know that He is working it out for our good, AND He will not forsake us.

"This is what I will do for them, and I will not forsake them." Forsake means, "to loosen, i.e. relinquish" and "refuse." He won't loosen His grip on me and my family. He won't relinquish His protection, His thoughts, His plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11), or His grip on me. He won't refuse to hear me when I call, to acknowledge me as His daughter, or to work it out for my good.

So, there you go, and here I am. I am waiting…that's the next blog.

Begins a New Journey into Faith

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