I continue on with my work trying hard to focus on my immediate task at hand while my children have two different conversations with me at one time interrupting and talking over each other like they are Neanderthals without manners. Dealing with this situation is a real feat and chore since I'm ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive). For those who don't really understand ADHD, I was diagnosed when I was in seventh grade back in the 80s, and I cannot filter. Every bit of stimuli receives the same amount of importance as a gnat batting its wings in my ear. I can be easily over-stimulated, easily distracted because of the stimuli, and there are times when I don't complete what I start because I honestly forget about it. Then there are times when the stimuli is so much that I snap.
A girlfriend of mine says her kids jump on her last, white nerve. I can SOOOOO relate. Does this mean I don't love my kids? Heavens, no. Don't be ridiculous. I cannot imagine my life without my sweet Erin and my energetic, willful Pearce.
"Hey, Mom. Are you listening to me, Mom?"
"Do you see that I'm on the phone?" Why is it as soon as I'm on the phone people seem to need to talk to me immediately. "Someone better be dead, dying or the house better be on fire. There must be blood."
"Mom. Oh, mommy." In her best sing-song voice, "He's got a sharp object outside headed to your car. I'm not tattling. I'm just sayin'."
As my sister says, "There are just days it feels like they are pecking me to death like a duck."
"Momma, where are you?"
"I AM ON THE POT! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, CAN I PLEASE HAVE A MOMENT TO MYSELF?" Why don't they bother their daddy when he goes to roost in the little boy's room?
"I was just going to tell you, 'I love you'."
Ugghh. Great. I feel like a heel, a horrible mom, but am I? We all get there at some point in time. If you say you don't, you need a reality check, or you need to share the drugs because you got some of the good stuff, dahlin'.
"Mom. Momma, my project and report is due tomorrow. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you." Tick. Tock. Tick. It's 9 PM.
Strange, my kids never call daddy. I have threatened to change my name to a symbol…formerly known as Mom.
But here's the bottom line. God chose me to be their mom for a reason which means that He knew I was ADHD and still thought I was the one for the job. AND if God has chosen me for a job, then He will equip me for that job and give me what I need to do it. He provides resources, energy, intelligence, wisdom and many other things when I need them and not a moment sooner. Just because we lose our mind on occasion does not make us a bad mom. Satan would like nothing better than to beat godly, growing moms down, and most of the time, we help him beat ourselves up. Let's not help him anymore, shall we?
Encourage your fellow sisters and girlfriends who are in this parenting gig alongside you. Reserve your judgments until you walk a mile to ten miles in their mules, clogs, or tennis shoes. Pray for one another. Love one another. Forgive one another and yourself. Be an open vessel that God can pour Himself into and work through. You can do this parenting thing. Just remember this as you charge full swing into summer with the kids being out of school and underfoot. Remember this when the kids are bored out of their minds and are picking fights with another. Remember to breathe. Inhale slowly. Exhale slowly. Repeat.
Love you, sisters!