Saturday, May 1, 2010
Is the Mom of a Girl
I am the mother of a sweet girl.
When you ask most pregnant moms, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Most respond, "I just want a healthy baby."
Since I had a lot of time to pray for our first baby, I told God I wanted His will, but I really would like a girl the first go around. I thought my husband needed one. Little girls have a way of humbling a man.
I also prayed that our baby would be an easy, laid-back baby. The first sign that God had answered this prayer was the fact that Erin was a little over a week late. She was comfortable where she was and was in no big hurry to come out and see the world. She's still in no big hurry. And as a baby, she was so easy and laid-back. My aunt and uncle paid to have a baby nurse who was similar to a "baby whisperer" to come and check our daughter our. When the nurse came, we visited in the den and were laughing and talking. She asked to see Erin, and she had been asleep the whole time in the bassinet next to my end of the sofa. The nurse stroked her back, and Erin didn't move. She rung a bell by Erin's ear, and Erin didn't budge. She took an open, safety pin and lightly scratched the bottom of Erin's foot, and Erin just moved her foot a little and continued to sleep. The nurse said she was one of the most laid-back babies she had ever seen. I woke Erin up, and when she came too and could see there was an audience she just grinned. She just oozed sweetness in her Feldman dresses, bonnets and little, gold ring and bracelet. Erin was late to walk because she was content with what she was given to play with, and early to talk. She was 18 months when she said, "Mommy, I see you." She has not stopped talking since which assures me we named her the right name.
I know not every baby is as easy as she was because I had a niece who wasn't, but at some point in most little girls' lives they become sweet. Most have a tender heart with their feelings easily hurt. Baby girls who use to put on shows because they are the center of attention or because they know they are that cute change into little girls, into big girls, into tweens, and then teenagers. Somewhere along the way, our girls can lose that tenderness and lose their confidence.
IF YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF A GIRL and you have issues with your self-worth, your self-esteem, your weight, your lack of tenderness, you can bet your daughter will to because you are her role model. The Word of God says He made us fearfully and wonderfully. That is how He sees each of us as His one-of-a-kind masterpiece. We need to teach our daughters that their worth, their value comes from God alone, and we need to show them what that looks like. It looks like someone who has confidence, who knows submitting to Him and the role He has given us is NOT less than someone else's. I remember my daughter in the second grade crying and telling me she was fat. I was shocked and my heart hurt for her. Some little girl had told she was fat, and it had hurt her feelings. That is when I started telling her about her worth. I explained she was still growing, and she wasn't fat. She was beautiful not only in her parents' sight, but she was precious in God's sight. This year one of her little friends turned mean and nasty, and Erin remembered what I had told her. She told the little girl that she didn't get her value from her and turned and walked away. I was so proud, and when she told me of what had happened, I encouraged her and told her again what the Bible says. Thank you, God, that Your Word is Living!
My daughter is nine and in the third grade. I have friends whose daughters are in the fourth grade, and what I'm hearing is that popularity and mean girls start claiming their spots at these ages. More and more girls are becoming bullies. Their sweetness has fallen away. Their tenderness has rotten. What will become of these girls? What will become of the girls they bully? Don't think that your child will never bully or be bullied. Don't wear blinders and say, "Not my child." That is ignorance.
So how do we foster kindness in our daughters? How do we raise them to become godly young ladies with a sweet heart? I'm not there yet. I don't have all the answers, but this is what I'm trying. I'm talking to my daughter about the ways of godly girls and young women. I'm trying to live the life of a godly wife. I'm teaching her service. She helps to serve meals on Wednesday night at church. She learned to knit, so she can make a scarf for an orphan in Mongolia. And I love on her and encourage her every chance I get. I will also say having been a girl with a strong personality that a daddy's role in his daughter's life is immeasurable. They help to secure the value in that girl so she doesn't look for love and acceptance from another boy or man before she is ready.
As Dr. Dobson has said, "Raising kids isn't for sissies." All we can do is our best, and if we aren't spending valuable time with God receiving instruction from Him, then WE ARE NOT GIVING OUR KIDS OUR BEST! There is no more important job for me on the face of the planet than being Erin and Pearce's mom. And parents, we need to encourage one another, pray for one another. We need to be praying for our kids. Our kids need to hear us praying for them – This sends a message to them that they are important enough to be lifted up in prayer. We need to make sure that what they are listening to, reading and watching is something that is uplifting, encouraging, and positive. It's a lot of work to do this parenting thing even half-way right, but it's worth it. Keep up the good work, parents. Keep it up.