Saturday, April 2, 2011

Someone Broke In and I Was ALONE

At 3:15 AM, I bolt straight up in my bed swearing I heard someone approaching my bedroom door. The problem? I was the only one home. Every NCIS, CSI or Criminal Minds show I have ever watched flashes through my mind – They're going to kill me!
 I don't know of any time that Patrick and both of the kids have been gone at the same time much less for two nights in a row. He had taken the kids to see his mom, and I was staying home to work on seminary homework.
Under normal circumstances, I am a VERY SOUND SLEEPER. I don't know the world exists most nights, so for me to hear something at my closed bedroom door was a miracle…or was it?

My heart began beating so quickly and so loudly I thought I'd have a heart attack. After looking around my newly remodeled room, I realized that I didn't have a thing with which to defend myself because we still had things in the dining room. So I retrieved my cell phone, and dial 911 without pushing the green button. I find some spray sunscreen, so I put on my glasses in case the spray comes back into my direction it won't get into my eyes. My intention was to spray the intruder in the eyes with it. (And surely it would leave trace evidence on my killer that could link them to the scene of the crime!) I crawl out of bed holding my breath. Tip toeing across my large room. About three feet from the door, a beetle got turned upside down and with his wings beating the floor about as rapidly as my heart was beating, IT CROSSED IN FRONT OF MY FEET -- as if I wasn't bug-eyed already. I reached the door in time to lock it and ran to my bathroom to make sure the access from the butler's pantry into the master bath was locked. Then I crawled back in bed and waited.

I started wondering how anyone could get in without my hearing. The doors beep when opened, and they are double-locked. Maybe someone left a window open? I didn't know. My ears are acutely aware of every sound the house makes.

At first I think it might be our old, miniature beagle who I allowed inside. But normally I hear her claws tapping on the floor when she walks. I ruled her out, so I go back to praying. "God, PLEASE KEEP ME SAFE! Get them out of my house. I have no way to defend myself. The guns and the baseball bat are in the dining room, and I am here by myself. PLEASE HELP ME!"

About 4 AM, I decided the person must have left (even though I never heard them leave). I decided to go into a light sleep (as if I could control that). With my phone ready to dial 911 in my left hand and my spray sun screen in my right, I fall asleep propped up in my bed. When the morning light came through my window, I was confident the person had left – WHY? I don't know. So, I opened the door and went to see what was removed from my home.

I felt so foolish. Nothing was awry. Nothing was taken. Remember when I said I sleep so soundly that I don't know the world exists? The only thing I can think of is I dreamt the sound of someone approaching my bedroom door.

That one night probably took five years off my life.

I honestly don't know what I would have done if someone had spoken to me when I was approaching the door or had tried to open it. I pray that I would have fought with all my might while calling 911 – ridiculous sounding I know, but I wasn't thinking my clearest. I should have just called 911 and been done with it, but I didn't want to look foolish if no one was actually in my home.

I'm so thankful I can call on the name of the Lord even when my fears are unfounded or when I've escalated my fears beyond the normal reasonableness. Whether our fear is real or imaginative, He is our Protector, our Stronghold, our Rescuer. He is our Shield and Fortress. We can hide in the cleft of the Rock of our God's hands knowing He will never leave us or forsake us.

Whatever is in your life right now that is causing you anxiety, whatever is causing you to lose sleep at night, whatever is causing your heart to race -- I challenge you to lay it at the feet of Jesus and find your comfort in Him for He knows what the future holds and has already prepared the way.

This is Jade, our miniature beagle. As you can see, she is no guard do. But the next time, if there is a next time, that Patrick and both kids are gone maybe I'll let our beagle sleep in my bedroom. Not that she would defend me because she would be making a puddle under the bed, but at least I would know it wasn't her!

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