Even though I’m really eager to get into Genesis 3, I think I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge Genesis 2:24-25 in my study of Eve and following the godly wife model. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” To me, this verse is more like a Proverb instead of a conclusion. And think about it, Adam and Eve didn’t have a mother or a father. We don’t even know if they had belly buttons! I have to admit my sister came up with that question when we were growing up. I don’t have the corner market on being warped in my family.
Regardless of whether it is a Proverb in Genesis or not, it is wise counsel. My parents have taught young married couples before and for a while they taught college and career, and I remember them telling more than one person that when you get married, you really need to move away from your family for one to two years. Patrick and I were married October 24, 1994, and we didn’t move back till November 29, 2001. Those first two years of our marriage were the most difficult I have ever endured. I remember during our first year of marriage, I puffed up the stairs to our tiny loft apartment, slammed the tiny bathroom door and realized I didn’t have enough space to change my mind much less change my clothes. I opened the door and stomped back downstairs and asked my husband if he wanted an annulment. He laughed at me. Our honeymoon ended when returned from the trip. We didn’t have a honeymoon year like some do. The thing that attracted me to Patrick was his ability to stand up to me, but it would become one of the things that would drive me nuts! By moving away from our parents, I couldn’t just get in my car and go home to momma’s house – that’s just a dumb move anyway, but at the time, I was making a lot of dumb moves. After the first couple of years, things eventually got better gradually. We didn’t have a choice. It’s not like our parents were going to bail us out. We were adults now. We had made an adult decision. We had put on our big boy briefs and big girl panties, and now we had to work it out.
I remember after the wedding we went to the Holidome here in Shreveport before heading out the next day on our trip. You know, it’s an odd thing. I was taught all my life about modesty and being pure and keeping myself for the one I would marry…then in one short ceremony, we had this piece of paper that said we were husband and wife and it was perfectly fine for him to see me naked…not only was it fine for him to see me naked, but it was sort of a requirement. Did anyone else find this awkward? A piece of paper gave us the permission to become one flesh. A piece of paper and a covenant made between us and with God. I’m grinning as I think about that night. What a hoot! The rodeo was in town, and there were some rowdy cowboys in the room next door. It was a very interesting night.
All of this is to say, when you become a wife, there are no safety nets. There is no backup plans. My Pappaw used to say, “I’ve never thought about divorce…murder, yes. Divorce, no.” Divorce is not an option. You shouldn’t go into a marriage thinking, “If this doesn’t work out, I can get out of it.”
My mom said she was too stubborn to admit defeat and that is why she never walked out on the marriage. Sometimes that’s what a marriage boils down to…I made a commitment, and I’m too stubborn to admit defeat. Let’s face it, if it comes to that point, it might be the point at which one looks up.
Wives fight for your husbands. Fight for your marriage. If you say you don’t love him anymore then remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Ask God to renew that love in your heart for your man. Pray that God will move mightily in your man’s life, but I assure you God will work all over your life before you might see change in your man’s life. If you are holding onto your past, then your arms and hands aren’t open to grab onto the future that God has for you. That old flame you had is just that…OLD. If you think the grass is greener, it’s because it’s growing over the septic tank! Wake up. Get your head on straight. Love yo’ man.
So--let's see how many "amens" you get out of this one. I'm impressed that you tackled (quite adequately) a very tough subject. As your dad says, "God doesn't waste anything."
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