Monday, February 13, 2012

Is Not the Best Wife

One of the hardest things for me is self-reflection, and even harder than that is to have God search me. It’s like lighting a fire under my growing behind. It’s just downright uncomfortable, and I try to avoid it at all costs. But during this fast and even before the fast, God had begun cleaning my house, going through and shaking the cobwebs loose, beating the dust out of the rugs, and removing the things I had once thought hidden. Does anyone else hate this as much as I do? I love, absolutely love teaching God’s Word, but He had me resign from teaching. I miss it. I miss the ladies in the class. I struggle sitting in class keeping my mouth shut…boy do I struggle with that. But that’s where I am.

And you know why? Because He’s cleaning my house…personally. It’s personal. And you know what subject He has me focusing on? I hate to admit it but my role as wife – more specifically Patrick’s wife. I am not a Stepford wife nor am I a perfect wife – nowhere close. So as I continue my blog being authentic, transparent, and open, I ask that you bear with me. Please.

Eve…God’s prototype of woman, of a wife. Maybe prototype isn’t the correct word, but it’s what I’m going with because another word doesn’t come to mind.

God chose to make Eve from Adam’s rib. His rib protected his lungs (breath of life -- remember God breathed into Adam) and his heart. How do I protect my husband’s life and heart?

                        • How do I have his back?

                        • Am I safe place for him to vent, unload and not be judged or criticized?

                        • Am I his partner in life? I can’t protect unless I know what it is I am protecting him from?

                        • Do I do anything that would cause him shame or heartache?

Eve was created to be an aid/ a help to Adam. How do I help Patrick?

                        • Does he see value in the way I run our home?

                        • Are my strengths in his areas of weakness and vise versa?

                        • Do I verbally complement him on his accomplishments and abilities?

                        • Do I praise him and encourage him?

                                           I can honestly say there are areas here where I need to improve.

                         • Do I look for ways to help?

                         • Do I look for opportunities to serve him? I have to be honest my attitude on this one isn’t always where it needs to be. I serve my children. I serve when I minister to others, but do I minister to my husband?

                         • Do I follow his leadership? And do I follow willingly or begrudgingly?

                          I guess it really boils down to my heart…my attitude.

You know something I noticed about Eve was she didn’t feel like she had to stake her claim as Adam’s equal. When God walked in the garden, He walked with both of them.

The term “helper” wasn’t meant to be derogatory in nature, but society has made us think that those who serve are less. It wasn’t meant to define woman as a subcategory to mankind, but rather the kind of relationship she should have with her husband. God refers to Himself as a “Helper.” The Holy Spirit is the Helper. He submitted Himself to God, and He helps believers in their daily lives. He doesn’t think of Himself. He doesn’t think more of Himself or of His own convenience, but rather on others. Sometimes I struggle here. Giving and giving and not being appreciated for what I do and give – But the Bible says that I am to do ALL as if unto the Lord. When I’m serving my family, when I’m serving my husband, I am to do it as I am serving the Lord. Lord, please make me more like you and remind me when I become disgruntled to do it for you, your glory. And help me to keep my mouth shut till the attitude passes!

Obviously, I need to do more studying on this. Fortunately, God loves me too much to leave me where I am. He who began a good work in me and you is faithful to complete it…that’s the good and the bad of it. (hahaha!)


  1. Well, you almost tiptoed onto that dreaded topic of submission, didn't you? See? Next time it needs to be taught, you can do it!

    Thanks for the reminder of doing it "as unto the Lord"!

  2. Hey Babe, will you allow me to inject a thought here? Thank you. It seems that when we allow God to move us in the direction He would have us go, we seem to move further in less time and the more obedient and seeking we are, the easier that move is. The change takes much longer and is much more difficult when we feel we must interject our feelings and desires. I can hear big strides coming in your life. Of course, I have loved you just the way you are, and will love you for what you become.


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